You Ain't Wrong (Week Ending 30 April 2006)

It's another week, and another week ending in a flurry of aintwrongness (as all weeks should).

Jessica at Go Fug Yourself, You Ain't Wrong, for this fugfreakintastic (or is that freakfuggintastic?) use of your deployment of the Celebrity Mindreader at the MI:III premiere.

Sonic the Hedgehog, You Ain't Wrong, child molestation is "no good".

Ed Driscoll, You Ain't Wrong, for invoking Pierre Boulle.

Chris Tucker, You Ain't Wrong, for not having a film released in over 5 years (if only Brett Rattner could say the same thing, also you ain't wrong if you fear what he's going to do to the X-Men franchise). I say go for 7-8 years at least (Rush Hour 2 followed TNT NBA wrap-up show, that high voiced, clown really bugs me, Rush Hour 3 has been 'in pre-production for better than 3 years, nobody wants to see this anymore (or so I hope), I'd rather see another Another 48Hrs than Rush Hour 3)



President George W. Bush (with help from Steve Bridges), You Ain't Wrong, for having a sense of humor about yourself and the public's perception of you. You outdid your wife from last year, and your performance was funnier than Stephen Colbert's.

Going to keep it short and sweet this week. As far as antiaintwrongness, the commie pinko scum holiday May Day, 'day without an immigrant' has to top the list of aintwrongness, so in an unprecedented move, I'm using an upcoming event to describe the antonym for aintwrongness, so

antiaintwrongness=poormisguidedprotestorswhoneedtogetalifeness

Maybe I'll Change My Mind About the Whole Subject

The above photo accompanied this article titled (scare quotes mine) "Latin" Hollywood actors back immigrant boycott.

The AFP (they're French, so you know they must know what's best) article makes a vague reference to the fact that the protest is scheduled to coincide with International Commie Pinko Scum Holiday Day (a photo series from back in the day Life magazine, the captions are nearly all glowing and positive about the Soviet Union, it's enough to make me puke)

May 1 is not a holiday in the United States, where Labor Day is celebrated in September.

Salma makes a persuasive argument (ok I lie, but like AFP, I'm always open to finding any excuse to post pictures of her glowing face and luscious frame, funny that they don't include any photos of him for the article), in its entirety here's what they mention of her

Hayek, who is Mexican, said she knows herself what it means to "open a path" in the United States, as she told the Mexican press.

Before departing on a European promotional tour, Hayek was considering how she could support the May 1 boycott, a source close to the actress said.

Here are some more persuasive arguments from Ms. Hayek below ('borrowed' from leninimports.com (where they liberated the images from, I don't know))

Friday Funk Lyrics, 28 April 2006

Friday wouldn't be Friday without a little funkiness. In light of the release of this film, and the upcoming protests, I thought a little mid-80s James Brown patriotism was in order for the day. This song was made to be included in Rocky IV (though subsequent films used it as well).

Here's what Jason Elias writing for Allmusic.com had to say (**spoiler warning** plot detail to Rocky IV revealed in song review)

Sure this song is no "Spank," but "Living in America" catapulted James Brown into the Top Ten where he belonged. The song is produced by Dan Hartman and written by Hartman and Charlie Midnight; they had the honor of writing for the Godfather and responded with a punchy, potent track. Hard-driven, flashy, and filled with punchy horns, this ended up being one of Brown's better vocal performances. Unlike a lot of his work, this had actual lyrics. Throughout the song, Brown finds a charm in all things "American" as he sings, "All-night diners/Keep you awake/With hot coffee and a hard roll." This track brought Brown all the way back and it was the first time he had cracked the Top Ten since 1968's classic "Say It Loud, I'm Black and I'm Proud." The song also has the distinction of being part of Sly Stallone's lucrative Rocky franchise. Brown is featured singing this track in the film, providing Apollo Creed music to showboat by until he met his maker by way of Ivan Drago. Thankfully, Brown was out of the ring before the punches were thrown. In an era when play lists had experienced a level of segregation not seen since the days of Big Joe Turner, this song had no boundaries and was an instant classic.

I guess that says it all, doesn't it.

Without further ado, (and as Al Gore would say (yes this is my new catchphrase), EXCELSIOR!)

LIVING IN AMERICA

Yeah, uh! Get up, now! Ow! Knock out this!
Super highways, coast to coast, easy to get anywhere
On the transcontinental overload, just slide behind the wheel
How does it feel
When there's no destination - that's too far
And somewhere on the way, you might find out who you are

Chorus:
Living in America - eye to eye, station to station
Living in America - hand to hand, across the nation
Living in America - got to have a celebration
Rock my soul

Smokestack, fatback, many miles of railroad track
All night radio, keep on runnin' through your rock 'n' roll soul
All night diners keep you awake, hey, on black coffee and a hard roll
You might have to walk the fine line, you might take the hard line
But everybody's working overtime

(chorus)

I live in America, help me out, but I live in America, wait a minute
You might not be looking for the promised land, but you might find it anyway
Under one of those old familiar names
Like New Orleans (New Orleans), Detroit City (Detroit City), Dallas (Dallas)
Pittsburg P.A. (Pittsburg P.A.), New York City (New York City)
Kansas City (Kansas City), Atlanta (Atlanta), Chicago and L.A.

Living in America - hit me - living in America - yeah, I walk in and out
Living in America
I live in America - state lines, gonna make the prime, that
I live in America - hey, I know what it means, I
Living in America - Eddie Murphy, eat your heart out
Living in America - hit me, I said now, eye to eye, station to station
Living in America - so nice, with your bare self
Living in America - I feel good!

Comparative Media Studies 101

Some ill-informed, misguided, and habitually aggrieved students at UCLA held a protest yesterday.

The event was covered by both the Daily Bruin and LATimes.

There are some interesting discrepancies between the two articles

DB:
According to UCLA admissions statistics, 15.6 percent of underrepresented minority students who applied for fall 2005 were admitted, while this year the percentage of underrepresented minority admits dropped to 14.3.

LAT:
UCLA administrators blamed the drop, from 16.5% last year to 15.2% this year, on Proposition 209. The 1996 voter-approved initiative bars the state's public colleges and other agencies from considering race in admissions or employment.

Also I noticed this little nugget regarding spelling

DB:
Student groups represented in Kerckhoff Grand Salon included the USAC president office, the Muslim Student Association, the African Student Union, the American Indian Student Association, the Asian Pacific Coalition, Samahang Pilipino, Queer Alliance and the Vietnamese Student Union.

LAT:
Jenny Wood, president of the Undergraduate Student Assn., said she and the rest of the workgroup are studying Proposition 209 and its effect on admissions. A number of African American students came to Thursday's rally dressed in black — a statement of "mourning for the brothers and sisters who weren't admitted," said Karume James, chairman of the college's Afrikan Student Union.

And it's not just the students pushing for this stupidity, administration officials also think that state law, passed by an overwhelming majority of voters, and upheld in subsequent court challenges, shouldn't apply

DB:
One of the main complaints of protestors was the restrictive nature of Proposition 209, a measure passed by California voters in 1996 which eliminated race as a factor in university admissions.

Janina Montero, vice chancellor of student affairs who attended the rally, said administrators empathize with student concerns over the law.

"The constraints of Proposition 209 are excruciatingly rigid ... and that makes it hard to back good faith statements by the administration," Montero said in reference to stated goals from administrators and University of California officials to increase underrepresented minority admissions.


LAT:
"Prop. 209 is excruciatingly rigid," said Janina Montero, UCLA's vice chancellor of student affairs. "We share the concern. This is a tremendous and painful moment for all of us."

What the protestors don't mention, is that admissions at UC campuses system wide of 'underrepresented' minorities hasn't dipped as much at all campuses, and are doing just fine. If they aren't getting into UCLA, so what, UCR, UCI, UCSD, UCSB, UCD, are all fine schools. If they are so concerned that racial set asides aren't being considered, most private schools still use race as a factor in admission in California, so apply to Stanford, USC, Claremont, or Pepperdine.

Prop 209 was passed 10 years ago when many of these whiny kids were still snot nosed grade schoolers. Their peers who didn't join them at the more prestigious UCs knew before hand, and throughout most of their academic career, that if they want in, they'd have to get in based solely on the merits of their scholarship.

Somehow for this crowd, that's a bad thing.

Also I'm really fascinated that the LATimes version of the story chooses to spell Afrikan, with a K.

I Must Have "Internalized" This Line While Watching Jimmy Kimmel

"Rosie O'Donnell and Star Jones on the same show is like Alien versus Predator"

What do you mean I didn't say that first?

And if you don't know what that's all about, you are amongst the lucky ones.

I don't watch the View now, but from now on I really, really won't watch the show (I'm serial)

As Al Gore would say, EXCELSIOR!

When Referring to Sen. Kennedy and Beginning the Post, 'Obviously a Tool', Is There Any Need to Elaborate Further?

Answer, No.

Yet, Instapundit does anyway.

So I Saw The Link Below On Drudge, and Thought to Myself, 'I Must Have Something to Say' But Then As I Sat to Compose the Post Realize I GOT NOTHING..

So instead I stretched the post title to the limit of what blogger will allow.

Anyway here's the link.

(and beware '20-stone men')

(though in Snoops entourage I'm not sure if they meant that they weigh near 350-400 pounds, or there were 20 very high pimps and playas causing trouble at Heathrow)

And In the Ensuing Nested Insularity of the Self Referential Nature of the Act, The World Implodes and Becomes a Singularity

If Fisk, Fisks Fisk, would the world implode? (Wiki on Fisking, here)

It would seem not. Though it may be that the implosive force of Fisk admininstering a self-fisking requires as a detonation trigger the self awareness on Fisk's part that he is actually engaged in fisking himself. It's possible that the gods have installed a safety device in Robert Fisks brain that prevents him from ever being self aware of his own stupidity so that the world ending implosion of self-referentiality can never obtain critical mass.

But the Instapundit post (whose language I stole) (and the Corner's take as well, which hat tips Tim Blair without a link, for shame folks, and it seems that this site got the ball rolling, and indicates that the linked interview was given by a reliably lefty presenter, so Fisk was sold out by his own kind) is sufficiently devastating, anyway (even if Fisk is beyond ever realizing it).

About Haiku and Why Film Noir Films of the 40s and 50s Were Often Better Than the Comparable Crap of the 70s and Later

Was that post title long enough?

Bill continues (posts today so far, here, here, here, here, and here) with the Haikuness for Thing. I applaud his efforts, and I'm impressed that commenters have so far respected his restrictions (maybe out of fear of deletion).

What has this to do with classic film noir versus crime pictures of the 70s and later?

It's the concept that the best artists sometimes create their best work under constraint rather than when working with freedom.

Because of the Hays Code, all crime had to be punished by the end of the film back in the heyday of noir. The three general principles (as listed in Wiki)

The Production Code enumerated three "General Principles":

1. No picture shall be produced that will lower the moral standards of those who see it. Hence the sympathy of the audience should never be thrown to the side of crime, wrongdoing, evil or sin.
2. Correct standards of life, subject only to the requirements of drama and entertainment, shall be presented.
3. Law, natural or human, shall not be ridiculed, nor shall sympathy be created for its violation.

1. 
   

Did that mean predictable stories without dramatic tension? Hell no.
Did it mean that they didn't give you bad guys you could root for? Hell no.
Did it mean the 'good' guys were worth rooting for every time? Hell no.

The best films of that time (Double Indemnity, The Big Sleep, DOA, The Big Clock, Cape Fear) found ways to play against those moral code imposed limits and still entertain.

By the late 60s and 70s with the explosion of the anti-hero, all that was turned on its head. Now the law enforcers were always bad or incompetent (usually with one iconoclastic law man who finds himself constrained by bureaucrats), the criminals always sympathetic, the hippie chick always naked at some point, and usually they ended these films in some pointless way (Easy Rider, Vanishing Point, Dirty Mary Crazy Larry, the perfect examples).

Then in the 80s and 90s were the screwed up remakes of classic noir pictures (Cape Fear, No Way Out, DOA, to name a few) showed how not to make noir (though some good noirish films came out at that time, too (Blood Simple, Bound, The Last Seduction, Kill Me Again).

Constraint can lead to better art, whether imposed by outside forces, or by the artist themselves.

As a libertarian of course I prefer that any constraint placed on artists be self-imposed, and I can appreciate an unrestrained exercise in excess (Battle Royale, anyone?), but enjoy the aesthetic value of a different era when artists had to be sly to be subversive.

If It's a Politically Motivated Abuse of a Public Prosecutor's Office You Want, I Have Your Man Right Here

(per usual, Drudge tip)

Good lord, 10 Blue States get together and decide to stroke each other in a manner meant to bring themselves to satisfaction (at the expense of both their states, and the federal government).

The lead wanker is the inimitable New York Attorney General Eliot 'I never met a camera or microphone I could pass by without saying something against business and industry' Spitzer.

New York, California, Connecticut, Maine, Massachusetts, New Mexico, Oregon, Rhode Island, Vermont, and Wisconsin filed the lawsuit in the U.S. Court of Appeals for the District of Columbia Circuit.

The states, led by New York Attorney General Eliot Spitzer, want the government to require tighter pollution controls on the newest generation of power plants.

"We feel it's incumbent on EPA to regulate carbon emissions from those power plants now in order to help us get our arms around global warming," said Spitzer spokesman Marc Violette.

EPA spokeswoman Jennifer Wood said the agency "will review all options and make an informed decision on how to proceed. EPA's climate protection programs continue to exceed the agency's greenhouse gas emissions goals and are on target to meet the president's 18 percent goal to reduce greenhouse gas intensity by 2012."

God help NY if he becomes their next governor (and if they elect him, they'll get exactly what they deserve).

As Al Gore would say, EXCELSIOR!

Posterized

Laker Kobe Bryant flies in for the dunk over the Phoenix Suns Steve Nash in the fourth quarter.

(Robert Gauthier / LAT)

Apr. 26, 2006

MVP THIS YOU HOSER!!

(but I'm not onboard with this Number 24 nonsense)

That's Commitment

Bill at So Quoted takes the Haiku Thursday idea seriously.

He requests commenters on his site to follow the suggested form, and promises that his posts will be in that form as well.

My suggestions was solely aimed at forcing the White House Press Corp to be more succinct and creative and wasn't intended to encompass everyone.

And speaking of Haiku, more than you ever intended to learn about them is included in this article by Jane Reichhold, this bit I especially like

In my early years of haiku writing, I easily accepted the prevalent credo being espoused on how to write haiku. This was, sometimes implied and occasionally expressed, as being: if the author's mind/heart was correctly aligned in the "proper" attitude, while experiencing a so-called "haiku moment", one merely had to report on the experience to have a darn-good haiku.

One reason for rejoicing in the acceptance of this view, was that it by-passed the old 5-7-5 barrier crisis. This was certainly a plus for the whole 70s haiku scene as there seemed a danger of the entire movement bogging down in fights, arguments and broken friendships.

Those Haiku Wars were fierce. The Sabi forces fired off their paper crane origami in mad fusillades, while the Yugen group fired off a furious barrage of non sequiturs. It's rumored that there are some soldiers holed up in caves in tiny islands in the South Pacific waiting to attack, crafting new devastating haiku in the style of their faction to lay waste to the opposition.

Why I'd Gay Marry James Lileks If Both of Us Were Gay

As we ate I noticed three new patrons, all in their mid-20s: a very attractive African-American woman, model slim without the hauteur; a good-looking trim Asian guy with wrap-around sunglasses, and a grinning handsome Caucausian with a soul patch and a knit cap. My God, it’s a royalty-free stock photo come to life! Really: they looked like the people you see on a website for some new useless internet service, grinning toothily at the camera. Or secret agents from a “Mission: Impossible” movie. They all wore leather jackets, too.

Swear to God: after they’d finished eating they walked, laughing, to the parking lot, hopped on three low-slung motorcycles, and roared off. If I’d seen all three in a McDonald’s commercial, I would have thought it nonsense, but here they were. Maybe this was a commercial. Maybe McDonald’s paid them to roam the country and administer Hip in small piquant slices.

Me, I’m wiping caramel off my kid’s face. And that’s fine.

The rest of the McDonalds related ramblings are also top notch, follow the link and enjoy.

And speaking of gay, he includes a snap of 'GOOD FRIENDS' cereal (the high fiber cereal for lesbians, by lesbians)

If You're Gonna Set Up A Joke, DO SOME FACT CHECKING!!

Darrell Hammond on Conan O'Brien, to set up a joke about Former Pres. Bush running on a ticket with Former Pres. Clinton stated that Pres. Bush only ran for one term, so he's still eligible to run for President again, and his good buddy Bill could run for his Vice President.

Don't look to late night talk shows for accuracy in political reporting.

(anyone paying attention at all should have remembered that Pres. Bush served for one term, ran for two)

Here's Amendment XXII

Section 1. No person shall be elected to the office of the President more than twice, and no person who has held the office of President, or acted as President, for more than two years of a term to which some other person was elected President shall be elected to the office of the President more than once. But this article shall not apply to any person holding the office of President when this article was proposed by the Congress, and shall not prevent any person who may be holding the office of President, or acting as President, during the term within which this article becomes operative from holding the office of President or acting as President during the remainder of such term.

Section 2. This article shall be inoperative unless it shall have been ratified as an amendment to the Constitution by the legislatures of three-fourths of the several states within seven years from the date of its submission to the states by the Congress.

Amendment XII screws up the whole former two term President for Vice President idea, however (as pointed out in the comments to this post from the Smirking Chimp site from way back when people were speculating who would be Kerry's Veep)

But no person constitutionally ineligible to the office of President shall be eligible to that of Vice-President of the United States.

The joke was fine, just a slight inaccuracy in the set-up. Hammond went on about the possibility of a First Husband Bill, that would be comedy gold if it does happen.

Guess folks won't get to print up those Clinton-Clinton '08 bumper stickers, afterall.

(not that Hillary would ever pick Bill anyway, plus I don't think Democrats will pick Hil in the primaries)

Parker and Stone Do Former Vice President Al Gore (I'm Serial)

Another week of Southparkness.

Southparkness=anti-antiaintwrongness.

Turns out all cave formations end up looking like a particular body part.

Also beware man-bear-pig. He's half-man, half-bear, and half-pig.

And he is real and must be killed, former Vice President Al Gore said so.

(Cartman - "You just had to go and be nice to Al Gore, and now we are trapped in a cave")

I'll "Internalize" This Post and Claim it for My Own in a Few Months

Stephen Green at Vodkapundit delivers a list of great songs, one for each year he's been around, it's a good concept, and placing the limit of one song per artist does add to the diversity.

But, I think it wouldn't be difficult to do a lot better as far which songs make the list (and in the comments clearly many people think so, too).

Something like this is necessarily idiosyncratic, personal, and debatable.

Maybe I'll get around to doing something similar come time for my own 37th Birthday.

That'd be a tough edit though, to just pick one per year, and to pick just one Prince song, or one Me'Shell NdegeOcello song, or one Maria McKee song, or one NoMeansNo song, or one Raffi song, like I said, a tough edit.

Painfully Amusing Moments In Other Blogs' Comment Section (a variation on an irregular feature)

(original post here)

Wickedpinto said...

then why do they laugh?

7:34 PM, April 26, 2006

Ann Althouse said...

To keep from crying?

7:36 PM, April 26, 2006

That's Gonna Leave a Mark

Ouch

(and LOL!)

No Other Comment Needed

Reuters headline, Tempest in a D-cup as bust sizes grow.

(what could I possibly add to that?)

(other than, I was a bit disappointed with the photo accompanying the article)

"I've Never, Ever Seen Children So Happy"

Peter Ebdon, being interviewed (click on the link title 'I play better under pressure - Ebdon', couldn't directly link the interview) after advancing to the quarterfinals of the Crucible, talking about how delightful living in Dubai has been for him and his family.

Fascinating interview.

The Crucible is ongoing, ending on May 1st.

Unfortunately, there aren't any good Snooker tables in Santa Monica, you'd think with the large Brit population hereabouts that there'd be a Snooker table or two, but nope.

Also, in 2002 BBC let anyone in the world watch their coverage of the World Snooker Championship (aka 'The Crucible') live on the web (which is how I got hooked on watching the sport despite never having lived in England, or even recall ever seeing a snooker table before).

As it so happened, the billiards place I frequented while living in Riverside at the time had a 5.5'-11' snooker table in a separate private room, so my friend and I took up the sport. Given the massive table (compare to the 4'-8' size of a standard sized pool table) and the much tighter pockets, playing snooker is a great way to improve billiards accuracy.

Unfortunately, the Beeb in their infinite wisdom, have limited the live feeds, and even game highlights, to UK residents only (those bastards).

So now I have two choices, hope someone posts a torrent of some of the matches (which is unlikely), or fool their computers into thinking my computer is in the UK (which is possible, but difficult (and illegal?)).

Maybe next year I'll plan a vacation in Sheffield to coincide with the tournament.

Stephen Colbert and the Closet, Part 3

Hugh Hewitt jumps on the, Stephen Colbert is possibly, secretly a conservative, bandwagon.

He also appeared on The Colbert Show last night (video from Expose the Left).

He can jump on this, but don't forget, I own this issue.

I'm still curious as to whether or not he hosts the White House Correspondents Association Dinner entirely in character on April 29th (This Saturday, and yes, I'll probably watch the CSPAN coverage, if not live, at least on one of the repeats, or even worse, I'll record it).

previous posts

(In the Closet, part one)
(In the Closet, part two)
(Colbert hosting White House Correspondents Association Dinner)

IMBY, PLease

I want a nuclear power plant (or two) in Santa Monica, and I want it now.

Many countries (amongst them India, China, Russia, South Korea, Argentina) are already using, or have plans drawn up, for coastal nuclear power plants that also act as water desalination facilities.

These can be built safely, cheaply (relative to other forms of power plants), and can function within major urban areas.

The Nuclear Power 2010 program is well under way, Southern California shouldn't allow itself to be left out.

Three of the major growth related problems facing Southern California currently and in the future are, power generation, water supply and pollution. These type of facilities would address all these concerns. Encouraging more nuclear power locally would be a win, win, win situation.

Santa Monica prides itself as being a 'green' city. As far as all the technologies currently available the greenest green is the green glow of nuclear power.

I'm tired of NIMBY (and its even crazier cousin BANANA), it's time for people to say 'IMBY, Please' to nuclear power.

Great Moments in Other Blogs' Comments (another installation in an irregular feature)

Regarding this post by Eugene Volokh where Judge Reinhardt was for a less fetered free speech in public schools before he was against it, one comment stands above all others:

Ross Levatter (mail):

I think the degrading comments about Judge Reinhardt are uncalled for. He is an EXCELLENT actor. (I especially liked his role in the Beverly Hills Cop series...)

4.25.2006 2:36am

And aren't you hearing that classic tune from the great Harold Faltermeyer about now?

(here is the Crazy Frog version video to jog your memory)

(also, please note for anyone who still harbors illusions that Europe is superior to the good ol' U S of A, that version of the song was number one in 7 European nations!!)

(And Judge was good in the Cop pictures, but I'll remember him best as the wanker from Fast Times, and not really for his wanking so much as who he was wanking to (or would it be better grammatically to say, 'to whom he was wanking'?)

Gehry Strikes Again

Frank Gehry has his fans, and his Disney Hall is an impressive building to gaze at in person (I've yet to hear a concert there, the acoustics of the hall are supposed to be nearly flawless).

But what I've seen of his biggest project to date (puff piece on the front page of the LATimes), doesn't fill me with hope (and the LATimes architecture critic seems to agree with me, which means maybe I should rethink things, he's an ass). I don't think this will be a grand addition to Grand Avenue, but you never know, maybe it won't suck.

McCarthy Denies She's The Leak Source

Drudge Headline: McCarthy Denies She's The Leak Source. . .

(the following is not the article that drudge links to)

E!'s Jenny McCarthy denies she was the source of the recent leak. She insists she's had no contact with Joe Wilson, Dana Priest, Valerie Plame, or Chris Hardwick.

She also commented that she still likes to pick her nose, whoop and holler, and make farting sounds with her armpits.

As of yet, no special counsel has been called to investigate the leakage (and speaking of leakage, there's a great bit about that in Jenny's book about motherhood, or at least I assume there is, I haven't actually read the book, but breasts leaking milk at inopportune times seems exactly like the kind of thing she would have included in this tome).

Christopher Hitchens has an interesting piece regarding all this mess, he seems to think it's a Mary McCarthy that's at the center of all this, I'm not sure, I think he's slightly confused.

And you didn't think I'd complete this post without a gratuitous photo of Jenny McCarthy did you (now which non-nude Jenny cheesecake shot to choose from?)



(I'm not buying Jenny's denial, clearly in the above photo, she's leaking, time for that special counsel afterall)

(On a seperate tangent, here's a fascinatingly ridiculous bit of Roland Barthes inspired critical theory mumbo jumbo regarding the semiotics of the differing ad campaigns employed by Candies that featured Jenny on a toilet. And yes, I'm ashamed that I immediately recognized the crap at the link as semiotics, even if she hadn't invoked the name of Barthes. And if you thought her stuff was ridiculous, you'd have to pay me a lot of money to post the essay I wrote for a Crit Theory/Film and Visual Cultures - Film and Gender course regarding the ad campaign for Life or Something Like It)

Inspirational

Here's a chapter from a book I'm shopping to literary agents, I'm calling it How I Got Shipwrecked, Met Wee Folks, Big Folks, Floating Folks, Smart Horses, and a Bunch of Yahoos

I know very well, how little Reputation is to be got by Writings which require neither Genius nor Learning, nor indeed any other Talent, except a good Memory, or an exact Journal. I know likewise, that Writers of Travels, like Dictionary-Makers, are sunk into Oblivion by the Weight and Bulk of those who come last, and therefore lie uppermost. And it is higly probable, that such travellers who shall hereafter visit the Countries described in this Work of mine, may be detecting my Errors, (if there be any) and adding many new Discoveries of their own, jostle me out of Vogue, and stand in my Place; making the World forget that ever I was an Author. This indeed would be too great a Mortification if I wrote for Fame: But, as my sole Intention was the PUBLICK GOOD, I cannot be altogether disappointed. For, who can read of the Virtues I have mentioned in the glorious Houyhnhnms, without being ashamed of his own Vices, when he considers himself as the reasoning, governing Animal of his Country? I shall say nothing of those remote Nations where Yahoos preside; amongst which the least corrupted are the Brobdignagians, whose wise Maxims in Morality and Government, it would be our Happiness to observe. But I forbear descanting further, and rather leave the judicious Reader to his own Remarks and Applications.

Any similarities between that passage and more famous works by long dead authors is only a reflection of the process where I internalized the works of that good and fine gentleman from long ago. Certainly the precision with which I accidentally recreated a passage from Chapter XII of Gulliver's Travels was merely a reflection of my Swiftian scholarship, and was in no way meant as a misrepresentation of work by that past master as work that was done by myself. Honestly, when I wrote the above passage I did not have my copy of The Basic Writings of Jonathan Swift opened to page 624.

Why won't you believe me?

What, you think I'm as guilty as this gentlewoman? (h/t Drudge)

But I really, really, really, internalized the work of Swift, honest. (almost said, honest Indian, but that would be in such bad taste (and she's the wrong kind of Indian, anyway) that obviously I thought better of it, so please ignore this parenthetical entirely (including any nested parenthetical thoughts embedded in the main parenthetical statement that you should have paid no attention to in the first place))

So really, I'm no more guilty of plagiarism than Kaavya Viswanathan.

So Dreamworks, Call ME! I'd like to have input on the script of the film version of my exciting travelogue/adventure story/social commentary novel that in no way is a word for word transcription of Gulliver's Travels.

There Ought to Be A Law

There's one thing that you see in films, with shocking regularity, and I hope one day they pass some sort of regulation to prevent the perpetuation of such shocking abuse.

What kind of filmic abuse am I on about?

Billiards table abuse, of course.

No one should ever be filmed placing a drink anywhere near a pool table, not on the rails, and especially not on the felt itself.

Even worse, pool tables are ever popular for filming people engaged in vigorous activities that may or may not involve the exchange of bodily fluids.

That ain't right.

Please filmmakers, please stop.

(was watching this film on IFC, and one of the characters placed her pint of ale right on the felt)

You Ain't Wrong (Week Ending 23 April 2006)

Time marches on. Another weekly dose of Aintwrongness for your perusal.

Second Lieutenant Harry Wales in the Household Cavalry's Blues and Royals, You Ain't Wrong, for wanting to serve with your comrades. However, you would present an extremely high value target for the murderous idiots you will be fighting, and the possible harm caused by your capture out weighs any service you could do as a soldier. Your insistence to serve as anyone else would speaks well of you, but unfortunately, the realities of asymetric warfare against a foe without scruples or honor makes your service an undue hazard both to you and those around you.

Prof. Althouse, You Ain't Wrong, for writing your excellent submission to the forthcoming conference regarding blogging and legal scholarship. Your essay has rippled in more than a few places in the internet (one ripple here, another here). That's the nature of ideas, one stone (or submission) disturbs the pond in countless and almost incalculable ways. The pond is getting bigger to the point where these ripples are hardly noticed, but it's fun to stir things up anyway.

Captain Ed, You Ain't Wrong, for reminding everyone who cares to read what you wrote and follow the links you collected that Hamas is dangerous, Hamas should still be considered terrorists, and the Palestinian people are the ones who chose this path. Continued pressure will get them to choose a new path, not ignoring the nature of who Hamas are and what they've done.

Rand Simberg, You Ain't Wrong, about the direction that some isolationist libertarians have taken and their resemblance to the nutsos of the far left. Nuts is nuts whether it's dextrous or sinistral.

Seth Green, Doug Goldstein, Tom Root and Matthew Sennreich, You Ain't Wrong, for bringing the funny with Robot Chicken (new season in progress, 11:30pm Sunday nights on Adult Swim). The season 1 Box Set is great, the behind the scenes extras are fantastic, buy it or netflix it already.

That's it, a quick five aintwrongs for the week. Short is sweet afterall. As far as antiaintwrongness, there's only one for the week, and it's so obvious that I'd almost back off and not even mention it, yet given how silly the whole Sock Puppet fiasco is, it's hard not to ignore, so for obvious reasons, antiaintwrongness=michaelhiltzikness.

Guess Who. . .

"There’s a reason most vets running for office this year are running as Democrats. The military is perhaps the ideal society -- we worked hard but the Army took care of us in return. All our basic needs were met -- housing, food, and medical care."

Who might envision the military as a socialist paradise?

Che Guevara? Dick Durbin? John McCain? Dennis Kucinich? Howard Dean? Pat Robertson? Tony Blair? Hu Jintao? Ho Chi Minh? Harry Truman? Hugo Chavez? Cindy Sheehan? Maureen O'Dowd? Charlie Sheen?

Give up yet, click on the link, and prepare to be unsurprised.

(I couldn't make it past that paragraph, tell me how the rest turned out)

(h/t powerline)

Let He Without Porn on His Hard Drive Cast the First Stone

The details have emerged from the Denise Richards v Charlie Sheen divorce.

The more salacious details regards his computer related activities.

He seems to be equal opportunity regarding his choice in flavors of porn (so long as the subjects appear young).

And he's unabashedly proud of his own manhood.

Somehow Denise Richards' lawyers are trying to spin this into something really awful.

Firstly if the porn he had was really kiddie porn, they would have tried to get real prosecution of this crime since that would bolster her divorce case, secondly, she married Charlie 'effin' Sheen for chrissakes. He's been Sleazy McSleazeball since I was in High School. Back when I went out too often and frequented Malibu adjacent dives, I ran into him from time to time. Every time I saw him in public, it seemed that his 'dates' might have had a meter running on their time together, but there's no way to know that for sure, and this is almost two decades ago anyway. Thirdly, who cares, I don't think the public interest is served in any way, shape, or form by making these kind of proceedings public.

Also there should be some sort of cost to the party that throws out false claims in these cases (which I'm sure does happen, the worst cases being false claims of child abuse).

Maybe things would have worked out better for them if Denise Richards had followed Amy Alkon's advice

As I've written before, to have a happy relationship, it takes three things. First, though, you have to find a good guy, which means you have to make ethics a priority, and wait to get to know him until you see he has them. And you have to have them yourself to really be able to identify them. After you get the good guy, just do these three things:

1. Be sweet to him.
2. Don't gain 300 pounds.
3. Give him blow jobs.

Obviously Denise Richards didn't violate suggestion 2, it remains unknown if she followed suggestions 1 and 3, or the more important suggestion to properly evaluate a potential life partner. (She did know he was Charlie 'effin' Sheen before they got together, afterall, which would suggest she completely ignored the 'making ethics a priority' portion of the advice)

Unintended Consequences

A recent 'study' purporting to show the relative risks associated to various activities people frequently engage in while driving shows that many folks engage allow themselves to be inattentive while driving.

(I put 'study' in quotes because of firstly, a small sample size, and secondly, a self-selected sample, both things that make this sort of study unlikely to be precisely reflective of the population at large)

The largest contributing factor in my opinion isn't all the devices that people feel the need to use while driving, or time pressure that people feel their under so that they feel the need to multi-task.

Rather, it's the cars.

Cars are too easy to drive. There are too many convenience features that make piloting these marvelous machines a nearly brainless activity. People are simple primates, and unless you keep them engaged in the activity at hand, they have a habit of looking for the next bright and shiny object.

Solution; make cars more difficult to drive again.

No more power steering, no more power brakes, no cruise control.

Make cars a beast to control again, and you won't have people talking on phones, doing their hair, applying make-up, eating, text messaging, reading newspapers, watching porn, shaving, etcetera, etcetera, etcetera.

And miracle of miracles, some people don't see this as an excuse to pass a slew of inaffective new laws

"I urge legislators not to interpret these results as a need for new legislative initiatives. It is simply not good public policy to pass laws addressing every type of driver behavior," said Lt. Col. Jim Champagne, chairman of the Governors Highway Safety Association.

With That Title, You Know the Post Will Be Excellent

Icepick posted this gem over at his site, "The Funniest Thing About the Day My Father Died".

Read it and enjoy, it's great writing.

(in the comments there's rumination about a new meme, luckily I'm not yet qualified to participate)

Friday Funk Lyrics, 21 April 2006

It's Friday! It's Funk Day!

Happy Funkday everyone (if people can attempt to rename Thursday to Thing, I can rename Friday, Funkday) (no offense to Frigga, though, I'm sure she's a fine, fine goddess).

In honor of the Thingites (you really should click on the link above, if you haven't already) who wish to rename Friday, Poets (which in some ways resonates with Friday Funk Lyrics, cause afterall, George Clinton, et al, is first and foremost a poet), I'm going to go reaaaaaalllllyyyyy old school with my choice of lyrics.

From the Funky Funky mind of John Donne (What?! You don't hear a funk beat behind the words of John Donne's love poems? Cause I do. Think Barry White style funkiness)

Lover's Infiniteness by John Donne

IF yet I have not all thy love,
Dear, I shall never have it all ;
I cannot breathe one other sigh, to move,
Nor can intreat one other tear to fall ;
And all my treasure, which should purchase thee,
Sighs, tears, and oaths, and letters I have spent ;
Yet no more can be due to me,
Than at the bargain made was meant.
If then thy gift of love were partial,
That some to me, some should to others fall,
Dear, I shall never have thee all.

Or if then thou gavest me all,
All was but all, which thou hadst then ;
But if in thy heart since there be or shall
New love created be by other men,
Which have their stocks entire, and can in tears,
In sighs, in oaths, and letters, outbid me,
This new love may beget new fears,
For this love was not vow'd by thee.
And yet it was, thy gift being general ;
The ground, thy heart, is mine ; what ever shall
Grow there, dear, I should have it all.

Yet I would not have all yet.
He that hath all can have no more ;
And since my love doth every day admit
New growth, thou shouldst have new rewards in store ;
Thou canst not every day give me thy heart,
If thou canst give it, then thou never gavest it ;
Love's riddles are, that though thy heart depart,
It stays at home, and thou with losing savest it ;
But we will have a way more liberal,
Than changing hearts, to join them ; so we shall
Be one, and one another's all.

Bonus Lyrics, since it's Queen Elizabeth II's birthday (link to Victoria's ruminations about the occaison), I thought I'd give you some monarch related lyrics (and no, not this song, that'd be rude).

God Save the Queen

God save our gracious Queen
Long live our noble Queen,
God save the Queen:
Send her victorious,
Happy and glorious,
Long to reign over us:
God save the Queen.

O Lord, our God, arise,
Scatter thine enemies,
And make them fall:
Confound their politics,
Frustrate their knavish tricks,
On thee our hopes we fix:
God save us all.

Thy choicest gifts in store,
On her be pleased to pour;
Long may she reign:
May she defend our laws,
And ever give us cause
To sing with heart and voice
God save the Queen.

Rampant Heterophobia in the Castro

So families have been moving into the Castro, and that doesn't please everyone

Although the Castro has long been called Boys Town, that moniker has assumed an ironic new meaning: The gay bastion is now an unlikely hub for families with children.

For more than a decade, heterosexual parents have been drawn to the quarter-mile-square Castro to raise their families in its quaint Victorian homes and small-town atmosphere. In recent years, the Castro's same-sex couples have also increasingly chosen to become parents, a revolution that has brought even more children.

In the Castro, restaurants oriented toward gay singles now offer child-size portions and even highchairs. One coffee shop features a hot chocolate "Castro Kids Special," a popular item during the morning rush that the owners call the "stroller hour."

At Cliff's Variety store, children shop for toy unicorns and jasmine-scented clay putty alongside cross-dressers perusing feather boas and rhinestone tiaras. And at this year's Gay Pride Parade in June, one float will celebrate gay families, featuring kids clad in construction-worker outfits and singing Village People songs.

But this new Castro has not emerged without tensions.

The racy storefront displays have pitted protective parents against equally militant gay residents. Many parents — both heterosexual and gay — say the suggestive ads are inappropriate for children. Gay activists want to preserve a sexually liberated atmosphere that embraces such gay-themed holidays as "Leather Day" and — in celebration of hairy men — "Bear Day."

Some complain that gay culture itself, which has long celebrated free sexual expression, is under attack — not just by straights, but by gays and lesbians as well.

Last year, a lesbian mother of two, now 6 and 2, complained about a sadomasochistic tableau in a clothing shop window that featured a male mannequin chained to a toilet. "As an adult I find this disgusting," she wrote in an e-mail to city officials. "As a parent I find it unconscionable."

After failing to persuade merchants to post suggestive ads above the line of sight of small children, the mother, who asked not to be identified, said she plans to move from the Castro.

Another parent complained when an antiques store displayed a kitschy life-size statue of an aroused naked man. Owner Robert Hedric said he reluctantly covered the offending portion after police intervened.

Hedric, who is gay and said he moved from Germany to the Castro for its lively gay culture, worries that family-friendly sensibilities will quash the neighborhood's spirit. "What surprise is next? Are they going to outlaw the Gay Pride Parade?" he asked. "This is the Castro, not the Vatican."

There's more, of course, but you'd think there'd be room for everyone, breeders and gay alike.

John Hinderaker Wouldn't Go There . . .

But I Will.

They're voting with their genitals.

(possible responses, 'Talk about hanging chads', or 'I guess they still approve of 'pull lever' style voting', or 'The new Russian National Anthem')

(OK, that's enough, make up your own)

NBA Playoffs

The 'real' NBA season begins Saturday. I already made my predictions, and the Clippers managed to lose enough games since then to slip to 6th from the 5th seed.

Whether or not that was done on purpose has been the source of some controversy.

But my prediction that in the Western Conference the 5 through 8 seeds will all win, stands.

The least likely to happen would be the Sacramento upset of San Antonio, but lately Sacramento has been one of the hottest teams in the league and San Antonio looks beatable.

The Clippers got the opponent they wanted, and will likely destroy Denver.

The Lakers can and will beat the Suns, so long as Odom and Brown continue the excellent play they've shown down the stretch. Placing your playoff hopes on Kwame Brown is a frightening thought, but he has the physical skills to be a monster in this league, and lately he's been showing signs that his mind is matching his body, if so the Lakers are a real threat.

Memphis will beat Dallas, but this will most likely be the most competitive series of the first round of the playoffs, but I think Memphis can pull of the upset given the talent they have across the board (though Dallas is equally talented, and more experienced, but I think the Grizzlies are going all the way to the Conference Finals)

2nd Round will feature the all-city LA v LA Staples Center battle royale along with the less exciting Sacramento v Memphis. The Clippers and Grizzlies will prevail setting up a Clippers v Grizzlies Conference Final, and the Clips will do win that series, too.

On the Eastern Conference front, I just don't care. It's Detroit from start to finish, though watching King James in the playoffs will be fun.

In the Pistons v Clippers final, the Clippers will prevail, with an exciting game 7 come from behind victory in Detroit.

Get the Red White and Blue confetti ready, it's gonna be a party in LA come June.

(so far in this ESPN.com SPORTSNATION poll, I'm in a decided minority in picking the Clips for winning it all (0.7% of 29,653 votes, shockingly the Lakers are the third choice with 9% of voters choosing them as this season's champions))

More 9th Circuit Loveliness

Prof. Eugene Volokh (and former Law Clerk for Judge Kozinski) decries the recent 1st Amendment decision handed down as a 2-1 decision (with Judge Kozinski dissenting (pdf at link)) that in Prof. Volokh's estimation, to summarize what he says, and to steal from Orwell, All Exercises of Free Speech are Equal, but Some exercises of Free Speech are more equal than Others.

Would anyone be surprised that the majority decision was from Judge Reinhardt, aka One of The Most Overturned Judge in History (and Carter appointee on the bench since 1980, also here is a 2004 interview from How Appealing) and more recent Clinton apointee, Judge Thomas?

So let me suggest that all judges (and Justices) regardless of ideological bent or who put them on the bench, should seriously consider a self-imposed limit of 14 years of any one level of federal bench, and a lifetime total of 30 years of service to this country.

Lifespans are increasing, the thought that people could sit on the bench for 40 years on a frequent basis didn't occur when the framers framed the constitution. Rather than forcing an amendment process, I say jurists should be honorable and impose reasonable restraints on their service to our country.

(and my suggestion would clear out more Reagan and Bush appointees who are currently serving than it would get rid of Carter hold outs clinging on far past what's reasonable)

The way the system now works, both sides pick jurists in their 40s and early 50s with the hopes that they will be around 40-50 years from now, leaving an ideological imprint on the courts that lasts for multiple generations.

That more than anything is what has politicized the Federal judiciary, and a self-imposed limit that jurists from all viewpoints can agree upon and follow may be the only way to ratchet down this stupidity.

Interesting

Hugh Hewitt has a post regarding the suspension of a blog at the LATimes (Patterico is all over this story (in nearly obsessive detail)) (oops, missed a second right parenthesis there, now added, another 'An Army of Editors' moment) and is most likely responsible for the suspension of Hiltzik's blog. Hiltzik's (unintentionally humorous) response is here, the LATimes post regarding the suspension, here.

Seems Michael Hiltzik has been posting responses under pseudonyms to his own stories.

That's just plain stupid.

Even though I blog anonymously, I blog consistently. Anywhere I comment, I'll comment under a unified identity as XWL with a link to this blog if possible. Commenting as other folks on your own site is especially window-lickerish (or is that window-licorice?, sounds like a yummy new candy).

(an exception being at WoW sites where I'll usually comment under my main character's identity, so as to make locating me in that world easier, and since I haven't played that game since February, it's not really an issue. When the expansion pack is released maybe I'll return, maybe not)

To do otherwise would be unethical.

And speaking of unethical, there have been some folks (see Vodkapundit's response, and Michelle Malkin's) at Indymedia going around posting what they think are the addresses of famous right of center and libertarian bloggers in retaliation to Michelle Malkin's republishing previously published contact information for UC Santa Cruz Students Against War leaders.

Stephen Green at Vodkapundit has the right attitude, "Our "reality based thinkers" are looking more and more like brownshirts in clown shoes.", firstly, big deal, secondly, it may not be wise to be trying to intimidate those more likely to fully embrace the 2nd Amendment in this fashion.

Links I Refuse to Click On

Drudge has a couple of links titled

Merkel bum snaps anger German press . . .

followed by

**Warning: Contains Nudity**

I'm not not clicking on this link (both links are to the same Drudge Flash!!) out of respect for her as a politician, rather I'm just not that 'in' to her.

(I copied and posted the link locations in case you don't share my aversion to the thought of seeing the German Chancellors bum)

If ABC and FOX can work together, Why Not Sunni, Shiite and Kurds?

A tale from an ABCNews blog about puppy diplomacy between ABC and Fox in Baghdad (hat tip TVNewser)

(I didn't audibly say 'awwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwww', but that's only cause I'm a victim of our culture's insistence on a code of masculine emotional detachment)

Another South Park episode that will Likely Disappear

Parker and Stone have really crossed the line now.

They went after OPRAH!

Will they survive?

(and I had never heard this term before, you learn something new every day)

(needless to say, the episode was hilarious, if you missed it last night, watch tonight's repeat, it may be its last airing)

An "Army of Davids" Moment (or is that an 'Army of Larry David' moment?)

From the post just previous to this one, on my suggestions for 'new rules' (if it works for Bill Maher, why not borrow it?) regarding press briefings for the White House Press Corp, Icepick (I have trouble understanding why he doesn't post more often on his own blog, but to each their own) took my initial idea and ran with it into comedy gold territory.

Icepick said...

Point Number 5 makes me think how much fun it would be if Dennis Miller or (in a Dem administration) Quentin Tarrantino would be in the role. Especially Q in conjuction with rule #2. Or best of all, Samuel L. Jackson playing the part of White House Press Secretary, as written by Quentin Tarrantino. That's a press conference I'd PAY to see....

David Gregory: Mr. Jackson, the President has repeatedly stated that while diplomacy is the best option with Iran he would not....

SLJ: Shut the fuck up, Dave. What fucking day is it?

DG: What?

SLJ: "What"?! I've never heard of a day called "What". Where are you from?

DG: What?!?

SLJ: Do they speak English in "What"?

DG: What!!??

SLJ [pulls out a 9mm pistol and shoots DG in the shoulder, DG screams in pain]: Go on motherfucker, say "what" one more time. I dare ya, I fuckin' DOUBLE dare ya!
[DG quakes in terror, but finally stops saying "What?"]

SLJ: Now that I have your attention, answer my question: What ... fucking ... day ... is it?

DG: Thur-Thur-Thursday. [Winces and says "Shit" quietly.]

SLJ: And what's the rule on Thursday, Brainiac?

DG: All questions ... all questions must be submitted in the form ... of a 5-7-5 haiku, or else....

SLJ: Or else what?

DG: Or else you'll get a couple of hard-hitting Young Republicans ... with a pair of plyers and a blow torch and an audio-book copy of Rick Santorum's latest book, and get all Abu Ghraib on my ass.

SLJ: Correctamundo! But I'll tell you what I'm going to do, Dave. I'm going to give you one chance to redeem yourself. Would you like that Dave?

DG: Y-yes....

SLJ: Now, listen carefully Dave. What's my favorite passage from the Bible?

DG: What!?
[SLJ unloads rest of clip into DG's carcass, drops the empty clip on the podium, and puts in a fresh clip.]

SLJ: Okay, next question.

11:50 AM

Pooh said...

I laughed very hard Pick, and now feel that I need a shower. But the upside is, it makes the Nerf Football seem reasonable by comparison. Let's make that happen.

2:07 PM

bill said...

Damn. That's better than anything SNL has had for at least a decade.

My favorite Samuel L. Jackson role might be from that incredibly silly (and fun) Geena Davis spy movie. And I think she's still playing the president on television.

4:09 PM

My point in the title of this point and in copying Icepick's dialogue (other than it's really funny) and the two responses to that dialogue is that this is an example of distributed comedy writing. In otherwords it's an Army of Larry Davids moment (Instapundit posted a link to a site that uses the term in a completely unrelated way in this post)

What if one of the writers for SNL started a blog, posted thoughts on possible sketches on Monday of each week, let the blogosphere have at it?

I'd bet by Thursday you'd have some pretty powerful sketches. Plus you have the added benefit of getting early feedback on what works and what doesn't before you actually go through the trouble of actually airing the piece.

Just a thought.

UPDATE:

Pooh, correctly points out that any mention of Samuel Leroy Jackson should also include a mention of Snakes on a Plane. I apologize for the oversite, and in recompense I'll link to this USA Today interview with The Man himself (h/t Snakes on a Blog). Also from Snakes on a Blog is a contest for best SoaP related Live Journal Icon.

And here is a Babe of SoaP photo for your perusal, the stunning and talented Agam Darshi.

If Nobody Else Wants the Job

I'll do it.

I still think Dave Chappelle would be excellent, but he probably won't do it.

Five changes I'd make to the press briefings.

1. I'd use a Nerf Football to pick who gets to ask a question. I'd fling that sucker in there mightily, chucking it at someone's head, and whomever catches it off the bounce gets to ask the question.
2. Every Thursdays all questions would have to be posed as 5-7-5 syllable haiku, no exceptions.
3. Clothing optional Fridays (let's hope Helen Thomas always opts for clothed)
4. My standard response to a really assinine question (you know, the kind that David Gregory is likely to ask) will be 'Screw 'em if they can't take a joke'.
5. I'd try and throw in as many convoluted pop cultural allusions into my answers as possible, digressing and dodging the original question with a charmingly off-beat manner, and frequent mentions of Chuck Norris, Mr. T, South Park, The Fonz, Family Guy, Shirley MacLaine, Parliament, Funkadelic, Frank Herbert, Douglas Adams, John Madden and anyone else I can think of at the time.

Now if they don't contact me to discuss salary, I'll be disappointed. I'll keep that press room lively for the next 3 years, of that you can be sure.

Fascinating

Prosperity sucks. At least according to the LATimes.

How dare folks making lots of money refuse to give a good size chunk of it back to the state!

When doing these articles there is a shift that is always made, first they say that the gap is increasing between the rich and the poor, and the rich aren't paying their 'fair share'.

But when they get down to the numbers they have to make the embarrasing admission that everyone is prospering in the current economy, the rich are getting richer, but the poor are getting richer, too, and likewise for everyone else in between.

So you have one or two sentences about how Pres. Bush has flattened the tax rate, and as it so happens the economy has prospered, and the government has collected more in taxes then ever before, but that's not enough.

Somehow those two facts are completely independent. Had we only taxed those wealthiest of earners at a higher rate, we wouldn't have crippled that prosperity, but instead magically sucked away potential capital for those most likely to invest without actually effecting their investing decisions.

The article is a 'tut-tut' article about some nebulous notion that the rich are getting away with some sort of evil trick by not paying their 'fair share', and of course by 'fair share' the LATimes means a far larger proportion of their income than anyone else.

Clearly the LATimes hopes to stir the rabble into storming the palace and demanding that the rich hand over more of their wealth to pay for more and more social services, cause then and only then will we have justice.

Envy sucks, not prosperity.

A New Motto?

I'm going to try this on for size (basically restating Paine's succinct take on the subject)


"With regards to the economy, government should only act as an honest referee to ensure a level playing field and shouldn't be involved in picking the winners and losers" --XWL




Of course if someone has already said this, and I just forgot that I heard it somewhere before, I'm sure someone will let me know, but as far as something to mull on Tax Day, I think that's worth mulling.


(Also worth visiting would be fairtax.org)

Actually, The Exact Opposite

Headline in the LATimes on Saturday, "Justices Hand L.A.'s Homeless a Victory".

The truth of the matter is the exact opposite.

Letting the crazies, substance abusers and predators who predominate amongst the homeless population aren't helped by making it easier to be homeless.

Letting people fall to this state isn't compassionate.

Handcuffing authorities when they seek solutions won't solve the problems.

Some folks need coercion to resist the allure of the street.

Sometimes an arrest, or at the very least the threat of an arrest, is the only kind of kick in the butt that will get those on the borderline to realize how messed up their lives have become and avail themselves of the myriad of services and help that are available.

The headline should have read, 'Injustice Handed to L.A. Homeless by 9th Circuit'.

Would anyone be surprised that the dissenting Justice was a former Pres. Bush appointee, and the two majority opinions came from a Clinton and a Carter appointee?

I'm no expert in conlaw (or any kind of law) but I can't imagine that the 'unique' interpretation of the 8th Amendment put forward by Clinton appointee will pass the smell test when the Supreme Court hears this case (which they likely will do), and just listening to the language she uses sounds a lot more like the way you'd expect a legislator to be speaking and not a jurist

The suit was brought on behalf of six homeless people, including Robert Lee Purrie, who has lived in the skid row area for four decades and "sleeps on the streets because he cannot afford a room in an SRO hotel and is often unable to find an open bed in a shelter," Judge Kim McLane Wardlaw wrote in the 2-1 majority opinion.

She said Purrie was cited for sleeping on the street on Dec. 5, 2002, and then again in the same location — 6th and Towne — on Jan. 14, 2003, when he was searched, handcuffed and arrested on a warrant for failing to pay the fine from his earlier citation.

"The police removed his property from his tent, broke it down, and threw all of his property, including the tent, into the street," Wardlaw wrote. When he went back to the corner where he had been sleeping, all of his things, "including blankets, clothes, cooking utensils, a hygiene kit and other personal effects, were gone," she added.

Purrie spent a night in jail, was given a 12-month suspended sentence and was ordered to pay $195 in restitution and attorney's fees.

Wardlaw emphasized numerous studies documenting a large gap between the number of homeless in Los Angeles and the number of shelter beds.

Los Angeles' skid row has the nation's highest concentration of homeless individuals, with 11,000 to 12,000 living in the area bounded by 3rd, 7th, Main and Alameda streets, Wardlaw said in the opinion. She also noted that the National Coalition for the Homeless in 2004 named Los Angeles as one of the 20 "meanest" cities in the U.S. for the homeless.

Wardlaw said the disparity between shelter space and the number of homeless guaranteed that sitting, lying or sleeping on public sidewalks was "an unavoidable consequence of being human and homeless without shelter in the city of Los Angeles."

Thus the city's enforcement violated the 8th Amendment to the Constitution, which bars cruel and unusual punishment, she said, adding that prior Supreme Court rulings made it clear that the government "may not punish a person for who he is, independent of anything he has done."

You Ain't Wrong (Week Ending 16 April 2006)

An Easter edition of You Ain't Wrong, I'm going to make this the all non-blogger, all Washington Post, edition of You Ain't Wrong

Pres. Mahmoud Ahmadinejad, You Ain't Wrong, (bet you never saw that one coming) for saying the crazy things that you do (example from the link article "Like it or not, the Zionist regime is heading toward annihilation," Ahmadinejad said at the opening of a conference in support of the Palestinians. "The Zionist regime is a rotten, dried tree that will be eliminated by one storm."). Be honest, tell us how you will destroy the Little Satan and the Great Satan. Remind us daily of how big of a threat you and the mullahs who installed you in power represent to humanistic liberalism. You are an inhuman monster who will rot in hell along side the Stalins, Hitlers, Maos and Pol Pots of the world. Keep up the rhetoric and maybe even the Europeans will get up off their asses and realize that appeasement=death. Also hopefully the children of the revolution will realize that Iran, which should be a wealthy paradise, instead is a dusty, grubby ass-backward nation that will only prosper when they rest control of the nation away from the mullahs and their crazed puppets, and goon squads. Blood will be shed, the choice of whose blood is up to the people of Iran.

Pope Benedict XVI, You Ain't Wrong, for calling for peace. That's your job (among other things). You also have denounced those that use violence and haven't backed down from denouncing Islamofascism. Principled stands won't make you popular with the press in the United States or Europe, but it will help define the moral compass of your followers, and that's as it should be.

Justice Antonin Scalia, You Ain't Wrong, for being you. You have demonstrated a willingness to be exactly who you are at all times, and you would seem to not care who that may offend, or the kind of criticism that may generate. People who criticize you, rarely criticize your jurisprudence, since whether or not someone disagrees with your decisions, if they are being an honest critic, they have to admit that you use the law as your guide, as should all jurists.

Paul J. Williams, You Ain't Wrong, for wanting to improve your manners, as the saying goes (and if it's not a saying, well I'll make it one) 'Good Manners are the Lubricant for Social Intercourse'.

George F. Will, You Ain't Wrong, for taking the current crop of Republicans to task for voting for the half-assed, anti-free speech, sad, sick, joke of a reform package meant to 'fix' McCain-Feingold. I really dislike your writing style in general, find you waaaaaaay too east coast and stuffy. But on this I can agree and bestow upon you the honor of being singled out as speaking the aintwrong (at least for this week).

That's it, a short and sweet week of aintwrongness, no antiaintwrongness this week, it is Easter afterall.

Friday Funk Lyrics, 14 April 2006

It's a Viernes Santo edition of Friday Funk Lyrics.

I thought I'd go with one of the more gospel tinged Funkadelic songs from their amazing America Eats Its Young (screw Wikipedia and their constant digs at this recording, I'm tempted to edit it, but I'll refrain).

(and as always, with all things PFunk, The Motherpage was immensely helpful, so much so, that I've finally gotten around to putting a link to them on the sidebar)

Everybody Is Going To Make It This Time

{G Clinton, B Worrell}


Our mothers and our fathers
They had lives to live
Oh, and today, is proof that mistakes were made
There's not a doubt in my heart
They've done the best that they know how
And there's still time for us to make a change

We got to learn from the mistakes that were made in the past
We got to clean so that we can clean our minds
'Cause in order to get it together
We got to get our heads together
Everybody is going to make it this time (x2)

Our country and our cities, they have been betrayed for money
Ooooh, and somehow, the people, they will make a change, yeah
There's not a doubt in my mind
If hunger and anger place the blame
There won't be a country left to change

We got to see what we're doing in the name of comfort
We've got to see, we've got to feel the warning signs
But in order to get it together
We've got to get our heads together
Everybody is going to make it this time (x2)

We've got to learn from the mistakes
That were made in the past
We've got to clean so that we can use our minds
But in order to get it together
We've got to get our heads together
Everybody is going to make it this time (x2)
(Everybody, make it, yeah whoa!)
Everybody is going to make it this time (x9)
(Got to make it, this time, whoaa! Wooo, woo, woo, hey!)

Cooking Your Own Crack, OK, But Listening to Don Henley, UNFORGIVABLE!

That would seem to be the attitude adopted by the commentariat over at Defamer regarding this tidbit from Page Six about a soon to be self-published book detailing encounters with Aaron Sorkin by an 'escort'

Calling Sorkin "sensual, but average in bed," she says the TV biggie paid her $2,000 to "stay all night" in his Upper West Side apartment. "He had me strip all night," she tells Page Six. "He wanted to feel up my legs and my lingerie. That was his thing. We smoked pot and listened to Don Henley."

Sometimes tough love is needed to break aging wannabe hippies from their destructive, laid back Cali-based Countrified Middle of the Road poor excuse for something that's supposed to resemble Rock n' Roll, habit.

Europeans Should Shun 'Eurocrats who abusively invoke tortured politically correct rephrasings of simple, and clearly concise concepts'

(hat tip James Waterton posting at Samizdata.net)

Tim Blair has the link to the UK Telegraph and quotes this from an article

European governments should shun the phrase “Islamic terrorism” in favour of “terrorists who abusively invoke Islam”, say guidelines from EU officials.

My gob is smacked.

Efficiency

Do you spill your best thoughts wantonly on other folks' blogs?

Pooh's fretting about this problem.

My suggestion, do half and half, if you see a thread that has a discussion you know you are likely to get worked up about, post at that thread, but also craft a post on your own site that elaborates on your thoughts over at the other sites.

That way, you don't feel profligate and wasteful in your exercise of your mental energies, and you stand a chance to increase traffic to your own site, which though of no great importance, still feels good whenever it is accomplished.

Another Flag Suggestion

After reading this post at DailyKos (I haven't delved into the comments, I can only imagine it's the usual round of spasms), I think they'd suggest that now is the time to adopt the flag below as the new standard for the United States (rather than following my own recent suggestion)


(please visit the site where I found this flag, and remember 09 09 2006 is Global Disarm Day)

Does This Bother You, Too?

Headline for an article from today's Washington Post (on page A1, don't know if it's above or below the fold though, don't read the paper edition)

"At Trial, Flight 93 Myth Finally Becomes Reality"

Didn't know anyone who wasn't a crazed, America-hating, terrorist loving WINDOW-LICKER (after reading that BBC piece about offensive words, that's my new favorite) was seriously disputing the account that the passengers of Flight 93 rose up and thwarted the plans of the scumbags (Slate has an article about the use of that word in the NYT crossword) attempting to crash into either the Capitol Building or the White House.

I guess getting exorcised is a form of exercise (at least it got my blood to run a bit quicker for a bit), so for that I should be grateful.

This Film Stinks!

Haven't seen Terrence Malick's most recent film The New World, but according to this article from Mainichi Daily News, some exhibitors guarantee to their audiences that this film will stink, and they expect theatregoers to enjoy the privilege to smell the stink.

(of course, John Waters tried this gimmick many years ago)