LOL Obama, Daily 16 March 2010

What am I saying here?

That Obama is recycling his campaign speeches and pretending that's a smart way to govern?

That it's time to recycle DC, and throw all the bums out?

That I'm learning how to play with layers, and went a bit overboard?

Almost forgot to link a post elsewhere about the NYT photo that this is a play on. Two weeks from now, no one will remember that stupid cross photo, so I'll post a copy below, and a link to the article that was illustrated by it (and is often the case, if something ends up being controversial, it disappears down the memory hole, the article no longer has a photo connected to it at NYT website)

On This Day, 48 Years Ago...

. . . The One chose to reveal his latest incarnation. He escaped the womb on August 4th, 1961, but His Oneness was made known even before the moment of birth. The exact point where He went from lump of cells to The Hope of Mankind Incarnate is still in dispute, and is an issue best left for theologians. Given The One's stance on reproductive rights, we have to assume He would have been comfortable with the notion that His Earthly Vessel of Birthing might have chosen a different path, and delayed his birth, but He could not afford the delay, so He made sure that His parents were prepared for His coming.

He chose a Kenyan father and Kansan mother so that He may be The One, for The One must be of The Many, and The Many can Worship The One. He chose to be a He, not because He-ness is better than She-ness, but because, unfortunately (as The Primary Opponent proved), the electorate isn't quite ready for She-ness in the House of White. He chose straightness, not because gayness would be a bad thing, but because of the Electorate again, and while The One must contain The Many, some of The Many must be contained only in His Compassion, and not in His orientation or gender.

The One chose a humble existence for His formative years, and He chose to be a traveler at His mother's side, eventually settling on The Island of The Chosen (and the Island of the Birthing, Despite what some naysayers say) to grow into a man. As all spiritual leaders must, He sinned, He struggled, He suffered, so that He may understand all that it means to be One with The Many. But to lead The Many, The One must be the best of us, so no state school would do for his education, Harvard Law beckoned, and The One answered the call.

The One also met The Wife, she would be the perfect balance to his Oneness, she would be the only one to have the audacity to not adore The One, and her lack of adoration makes The One love her all the more. The One had to work in evil law firms after graduation, but His Higher Calling lead him to that most noble of all enterprises, Community Organizing. Once The One solved all the problems faced by the citizens of His small section of Chicago (cursed are the naysayers who claim that problems remain, He gave them perfect love, and they have prospered), He embarked on his true calling, a life in politics.

His rise has been meteoric, and His rise is not at an end. He will reverse the rise of the oceans, and cool the fevered earth, He will heal Mother Gaia herself, and Mother Gaia will bless the earth for its people had the wisdom to follow The One. He understands that our prosperity is dooming Gaia, so he has worked feverishly to reverse decades of American (and yeah, even global) prosperity, and he has succeeded in that reversal beyond even the wildest imaginings of The One (and as you could imagine, the imaginings of such a blessed being could be quite wild).

The One knows that perfection frightens the masses, so The One makes sure to have bad weeks, and even months, he stumbles and mumbles, and hires incompetent cronies, not because he is imperfect, but because these flaws are necessary to prevent His Awesomeness from scaring the populous. He is wise in his compassion, and His willingness to seem so fallible, feeble, and forelorn during his first half year in office is all part of a larger plan to Be the Change That You Believe In.

So on this day, Day One, of Year 48 (the calendar does not yet reflect today as Day One, or this year as Year 48, but give it time, give it time), The One celebrated, and The Many celebrated with Him.

And as the future is not yet written, there are still forces that work against The One, and The Oneness He Will Bring. If our electorate is not wise, and rejects The One for his second term, Mother Gaia will punish the planet, for her wrath is great, but she will single out The United States for the greatest wrath, for they will have deserved it, and she will inflict her worst on The Flyover States, for those shall be the people that thwarted The Great Healing that The One was put on this planet to accomplish.

Do not let this darkness happen, do not fail The One, do not doom the planet, and celebrate The One who shall Unite The Many, for today is His Birthday.



[largely a repost of last year's birthday ode to The One, with a few lines added to reflect events that have passed since then, didn't see that whole destruction of the economy thing coming back in last August, or that the 'birther' nonsense would continue, that's for sure...]

Faireys, Stains, and Copyright Law . . .

So, Shepard Fairey and the AP photographer who shot the shot that was the basis for the famous series of paintings/posters are seeking an amicable agreement on what the photog sees as an infringement of his copyright. I say screw amicability! Fight this to the Supreme Court, somebody needs to stand up for fair use (the story I linked doesn't say they're working towards an agreement, but subsequent reports suggest a settlement is in the works).

Above is a reworking of the Stains video. Under current interpretations of copyright law, that's probably a violation, but luckily Animal Planet hasn't bothered with getting agressive with the takedown notices yet, cause that's some serious awesome right there (found via Martinsargent's twitter, in turn he credits nippys)

Copyright law must allow for that sort of awesomeness (or even the Obama poster stupidity, for that matter). Until that is legal, the law must be rewritten.

President Obama, fixing this and allowing mash-ups to flourish would be Change I Can Believe In!

Salesman of the Year!

Perusing the Zune software for the latest releases, I couldn't get away from The One. He stared back in multiple genres. Here are but a few of the latest releases using Obama to sell their songs (or songs specifically about #44). The one that bothers me the most is A Change is Gonna Come. Sam Cooke does not need Obama to sell that song, that performance of that song is far better than anything President Obama can ever hope to accomplish.

And can this sort of worshipful stuff be maintained for 4 to 8 years?

I'm Merely 12th on Obama's List of Most Hated Bloggers (But I'm Aiming for Top Ten Status)

What, you think major radio personalities are the only ones inspiring the wrath of #44?

So, I have an inside source who claims to have access to President Obama's enemies list. I can't give you specifics on the daring and dangerous subterfuge employed by my source to sneak out the details of this list. Suffice to say, it would make an excellent suspense film, the kind that Hitchcock used to make, and though there was no hanging off of Mt. Rushmore, there were monuments involved, and that whole Purple Tunnel of Doom, it was actually an elaborate ruse set up by my source to slip surveillance so that she (or he) could get the information in the proper hands.

Hope and Change is hard to fight, when you are up against 'true believers', they'll stop at nothing to prevent embarrassment. Also, my source found out that the whole 'enormity' thing was an inside joke (Enormity is Michelle's nickname for the President's man parts).

Anyway, I think I can safely give you the top 15 Most Hated Bloggers (or Blogs) as currently conceived of by President Barack Obama, this list is subject to change (especially if I have anything to say or do about it, I'm moving up, the notes about each are my own speculation as why these particular folks are on the list)

1. Instapundit - Why would he be #1? He's a pussycat, but he's a pussycat with a huge audience and a libertarian outlook which is antithetical to bigger government progressivism which Obama espouses. That's troublesome for The One

2. Victor Davis Hanson - He's just so damn eloquent, and he's focused on uncovering the historical echoes (and the bad places similar choices in the past lead) of the policy choices the Obama Administration seems headed towards.

3. Deadspin - Yeah, not so much about the politics, Obama the mega sports fan just doesn't like their incessant snarkiness.

4. Hugh Hewitt - Another conservative blogger who is sticking to his principles, despite the swirl of Hope and Change in the air.

5. Glenn Greenwald - I know, I know, he's basically on the President's side, but his prose style is just so turgid that Obama, The Author can't stand this torturer of the language.

6. Hit & Run - Reason Magazine's group blog, as a group these libertarians seem rather wary of New Deal II. I can't imagine why.

7. Megan McArdle - You'd think she made the list for her eloquent advocacy on behalf of libertarian economic policies, but no, it's just his male insecurities and general freaked-outedness about a woman taller than he is.

8. Andrew Sullivan - Again, on his side, yet he makes the list. Why? Simple, even an adoration junkie like President Barack Obama can take only so much obsequious fawning before wanting to puke. Sully has consistently pegged the Presidential Puke-O-Meter with his sycophantic posts regarding #44.

9. Perez Hilton - Another surprise for this list, he's just a bit too catty for Obama's taste. Plus those stupid scribbles he adds to pictures are an affront to photographers and photoshoppers everywhere (doesn't help that he dissed Michelle's gown designer).

10. The Blog at The Weekly Standard / The Corner at NRO - From Obama's perspective both these blogs and magazines sort of blend together into one big pile of conservative punditry. He has trouble differentiating them, so he just melded them together into one big enemy. That's the awesome power of being The One.

11. The Volokh Conspiracy - Not all the conspirators incur the wrath of #44, but enough of them do, and they state their cases with such clarity, that he's keeping an eye on them. Plus there's a bit of the old professional jealousy thing going on since he was a one time Law Prof himself.

12. Immodest Proposals - Woohoo!!! Yeah, Me!!!! It's an honor just to be nominated. My prominence on this list is completely out of proportion with the number of eyeballs I get. I think it's the whole "The Obama Will Wash Away Your Sins" thing that especially riles him. He has his eye on me, but I have my eye on him, so the feeling is mutual #44.

13. Hello Kitty Hell - Obama's secretly a huge Hello Kitty fan (being surrounded by all those women has to have some sort of effect, I guess this is one of them), and he doesn't appreciate this blog's attacking of that great brand.

14. Little Green Footballs - How are we supposed to be all Hope and Change-y and have the world love us again if blogs like LGF (or the Jawa Report) are pointing out all the problems in the world? The Obama is not amused. Plus, the comment section does get a bit out of hand there, and every time Obama's tried to register, they've ran out of space before he could sign up.

15. Althouse - Althouse earns the last spot on this list, despite having voted for President Obama. She's just a bit too gleeful in pointing out when he's being hypocritical, and she's a bit too eager to point out the insane adoration accorded #44 coming from the supposedly neutral media. Those are traits that irk President Obama, and that irksomeness is enough to make the last spot on the current list.

I'm sure this list will expand over time, give him a few months and he'll probably make Nixon's enemies list look paltry.

Why Do I Have Such a Problem With Chris Ayres?

OK, first of all I don't really have a problem with Chris Ayres, just thought I'd get that out of the way, second of all, I do have a problem with the following passage from his most recent missive from our corner of the world

But, of course, we're all wiser now, even here in LA, where gullibility - or “suspension of disbelief', as Hollywood prefers to call it - is pretty much a requirement for simply getting out of bed in the morning. This is a town where it rains for two and half minutes a year, after all: human life shouldn't be possible - yet here we are, regardless. Which perhaps explains why Angelenos fall for bubbles harder than anyone else, while trying their damnedest to sell the very same hype to the rest of the world.

Suppositions without supporting evidence, there's simply no proof that Angelenos are any more susceptible to huxterism than any other part of this country, or the rest of the world, for that matter.

First, the entertainment industry is only one minor part of the overall economy here, this is not a company town, no matter how often people want to make that claim, there are sections of Los Angeles that may feel like a company town, and if you wander into a coffee house in the 'wrong' part of town, you'll be overwhelmed by the preening, self-satisfied yet oddly desperate manner of the folks hunched over their laptops or speaking too loudly into their phones. In number of employees and even overall dollar value of trade, the entertainment business is a major factor locally, but it's not everything, if anything is king in L.A., it's international trade (Port of LA's economic impact is huge), and tourism. The dream factory accounts for a lot, but its impact is not equal to trade or tourism locally, but in the popular imagination around the globe, Los Angeles is a company town.

Second (boy, that was a long first, wasn't it?), given that we've got a town full of hustlers and players and wannabes, rather than being naive and easily fooled, it tends to lend a 'been there, done that' vibe to most folks who aren't absolutely, 'fresh of the boat'. If anything, our proximity to Hollywood lends itself to less susceptibility to the various irrational exuberances that sweep over a place like Iceland or Albania.

Third, give your countryman some due. The phrase "willing suspension of disbelief" was coined by Samuel Taylor Coleridge in his philosophical work, Biographia Literia (text of Chapter XIV, here). I assume Mr. Ayres knows this, so why attribute it to "Hollywood"? Furthermore, I don't think most folks in Hollywood use the term, other than derisively to discount a work that relies on its audience willingness to suspend their belief a bit too much. But even if he's wrong about Angelenos being particularly susceptible, and even if he's wrong about "Hollywood's" use of the phrase, I think he's right to connect Samuel Taylor Coleridge's philosophical definition of poems and poetry with the inflated sense of expectations surrounding our freshly minted 44th President. Here's the first paragraph from Chapter XIV of Biographia Literaria

During the first year that Mr. Wordsworth and I were neighbours, our conversations turned frequently on the two cardinal points of poetry, the power of exciting the sympathy of the reader by a faithful adherence to the truth of nature, and the power of giving the interest of novelty by the modifying colours of imagination. The sudden charm, which accidents of light and shade, which moon-light or sun-set diffused over a known and familiar landscape, appeared to represent the practicability of combining both. These are the poetry of nature. The thought suggested itself (to which of us I do not recollect) that a series of poems might be composed of two sorts. In the one, the incidents and agents were to be, in part at least, supernatural; and the excellence aimed at was to consist in the interesting of the affections by the dramatic truth of such emotions as would naturally accompany such situations, supposing them real. And real in this sense they have been to every human being who, from whatever source of delusion, has at any time believed himself under supernatural agency. For the second class, subjects were to be chosen from ordinary life; the characters and incidents were to be such, as will be found in every village and its vicinity, where there is a meditative and feeling mind to seek after them, or to notice them, when they present themselves.

I quote the whole paragraph, to give the context, but the key point is, "the incidents and agents were to be, in part at least, supernatural; ... And real in this sense they have been to every human being who, from whatever source of delusion, has at any time believed himself under supernatural agency."

The current fervor over President Barack Obama seems to have a supernatural and delusional tinge to it. I've been poking fun at the cultishness of the faithful for quite some time, and his election and subsequent inauguration has yet to dim this adoration. For those that believe, he really is a supernatural being, and he really will be "The One", he can no sooner live up to those expectations than he can waive his magic wand and turn his own turds into gold (turning lead into gold is way too easy for a demigod, I want to see turds into gold before I choose to believe).

Since When Have Stoners Been Able to Shut Their Pieholes About With Whom They've Toked?

This bit, allegedly from a lawyer for Cindy McCain pushing back against NYT stupidity, where the correspondent questions why the wife of a candidate is getting so much more scrutiny and delving into her past when compared to the actual candidate of the other side, reminded me of something that's bothered me about Dreams of My Father.

I haven't read it, but as has been pointed out over and over again, Obama readily admits to having a misspent youth and having run around with druggy friends and got himself involved into that scene as a high school kid in Hawaii and as an undergrad in Los Angeles at Occidental.

I think he's lying. I think he never was that much into that stuff, but he needed to have something that he 'overcame', so he exaggerated his use of drugs so that his story arc could be that of redemption and struggle rather than privilege and ease.

Simply put, druggies love telling stories about who they get high with, and if they got high with someone famous, or would later become famous, despite their blissed out nature and poor short term memory, this is the kind of detail they'd love to endlessly talk about.

The sad truth about Sen. Obama is that he was a square then, he was a square at Harvard, and he's a square now, but he's afraid the notion that he's always been square would be bad for his image, so he constructed this narrative about his past that was based on attending a few parties and he spun this into his own 'struggle' with the demon weed and the Colombian marching powder.

Sorry, but I ain't buying it. If you were a real user, then you've got the scars, stories, and associations real users collect, and there's just no evidence of this.

If you don't believe me, here's what was reported in the NYT back in February:

Mr. Obama’s account of his younger self and drugs, though, significantly differs from the recollections of others who do not recall his drug use. That could suggest he was so private about his usage that few people were aware of it, that the memories of those who knew him decades ago are fuzzy or rosier out of a desire to protect him, or that he added some writerly touches in his memoir to make the challenges he overcame seem more dramatic.

In more than three dozen interviews, friends, classmates and mentors from his high school and Occidental recalled Mr. Obama as being grounded, motivated and poised, someone who did not appear to be grappling with any drug problems and seemed to dabble only with marijuana.

I have a much bigger problem with someone making up youthful indiscretions, rather than actually having youthful indiscretions. For the former, you are a grown-assed person who should know better than to fabricate an identity for yourself, for the latter, you were young dumb and full of vigor, so as long as you didn't get anyone killed or jailed for more than a decade, no harm done (except to yourself).

It's amazing how often, and in how many different contexts, that the memories and accounts of everyone around Sen. Obama seems to fail them. There always seems to be a discrepancy between his recollection and those of the rest of the universe. Obviously, the universe is wrong, cause The One does not make those kind of mistakes.

Change I Can Believe In . . .

(via Drudge)

Brilliant move, if it happens. Sure, why not, Sen. Kerry for Veep. Why stop with Kerry, though, former Pres. Carter is still constitutionally eligible, pick him for Veep, while you are at it.

And the change I can believe in should Sen. Kerry be named Sen. Obama's running mate, you ask . . .

That would be my underwear, from pissing myself laughing so hard, of course.

(too much information?)

On This Day, 47 Years Ago . . .

. . . The One chose to reveal his latest incarnation. He escaped the womb on August 4th, 1961, but His Oneness was made known even before the moment of birth. The exact point where He went from lump of cells to The Hope of Mankind Incarnate is still in dispute, and is an issue best left for theologians. Given The One's stance on reproductive rights, we have to assume He would have been comfortable with the notion that His Earthly Vessel of Birthing might have chosen a different path, and delayed his birth, but He could not afford the delay, so He made sure that His parents were prepared for His coming.

He chose a Kenyan father and Kansan mother so that He may be The One, for The One must be of The Many, and The Many can Worship The One. He chose to be a He, not because He-ness is better than She-ness, but because, unfortunately (as The Primary Opponent proved), the electorate isn't quite ready for She-ness in the House of White. He chose straightness, not because gayness would be a bad thing, but because of the Electorate again, and while The One must contain The Many, some of The Many must be contained only in His Compassion, and not in His orientation or gender.

The One chose a humble existence for His formative years, and He chose to be a traveler at His mother's side, eventually settling on The Island of The Chosen to grow into a man. As all spiritual leaders must, He sinned, He struggled, He suffered, so that He may understand all that it means to be One with The Many.

But to lead The Many, The One must be the best of us, so no state school would do for his education, Harvard Law beckoned, and The One answered the call.

The One also met The Wife, she would be the perfect balance to his Oneness, she would be the only one to have the audacity to not adore The One, and her lack of adoration makes The One love her all the more.

The One had to work in evil law firms after graduation, but His Higher Calling lead him to that most noble of all enterprises, Community Organizing. Once The One solved all the problems faced by the citizens of His small section of Chicago (cursed are the naysayers who claim that problems remain, He gave them perfect love, and they have prospered), He embarked on his true calling, a life in politics.

His rise has been meteoric, and His rise is not at an end. He will reverse the rise of the oceans, and cool the fevered earth, He will heal Mother Gaia herself, and Mother Gaia will bless the earth for its people had the wisdom to follow The One.

So on this day, Day One, of Year 47 (the calendar does not yet reflect today as Day One, or this year as Year 47, but give it time, give it time), The One celebrated, and The Many celebrated with Him.

And as the future is not yet written, there are still forces that work against The One, and The Oneness He Will Bring. If our electorate is not wise, and rejects The One, Mother Gaia will punish the planet, for her wrath is great, but she will single out The United States for the greatest wrath, for they will have deserved it, and she will inflict her worst on The Flyover States, for those shall be the people that thwarted The Great Healing that The One was put on this planet to accomplish.

Do not let this darkness happen, do not fail The One, do not doom the planet, and celebrate The One who shall Unite The Many, for today is His Birthday.

You Make the Call: Fawning Article Regarding Candidate Obama, or Serious Expose Revealing Potentially Campaign Changing Health Issue?

(via Michelle Malkin)

From reporter Judith Bonesky of Bild

“My name’s Judith” I reply. "I’m Barack Obama, nice to meet you!” he says, and puts his arm across my shoulder. I put my arm around his hip – wow, he didn’t even sweat! WHAT A MAN!

Now, you might think this is just part and parcel with the insane fawning and hype that accompanied Presumptive Candidate Obama as he toured Asia and Europe.

But what if something else is at play, too?

Anhidrosis is potentially a very serious medical issue, one that shouldn't be taken lightly, and could be the sign of some underlying problem.

Other potential causes are simple dehydration, but given the reporter mentions his bottle of Evian, we can possibly rule that out.

Another possible cause could be prescription (or non-prescription) drugs. Here's a list (PDF) of some drugs that may contribute to anhidrosis. Not listed are the illicit drugs that cause this problem, most notably, MDMA, but it would seem awfully odd if he were taking that stuff.

After all, The Obama has no need to ingest a chemical to get a feeling of warm and fuzzy well being towards everyone he meets and in turn reflected back at him by others. He is The One, so his very presence in a room has the effect of getting everyone to behave as if they've been dosed with several hits of Ecstasy.

Rereading the linked article, and assuming that Ms. Bonesky was tripping balls on X (or at least The Obama related syndrome that strongly mimicks the effects of the drug), it makes, much, much, more sense.

Also, this whole bit about the curls: Part of a balanced workout, or middle aged guy in a gym trying to impress a younger girl with his physical prowess? YOU MAKE THE CALL!!!

(what, I can't use that bit twice in the same post?)

Who Issues Those "World Citizen" Passports, Anyway?

DRUDGE EXCLUSIVE!!! (sorry no twirling gumball)

'I come to Berlin as so many of my countrymen have come before. Tonight, I speak to you not as a candidate for President, but as a citizen -- a proud citizen of the United States, and a fellow citizen of the world.'

Are you counting the moments before The Presumptive Obama, World Citizen, addresses his Deutschlander acolytes?

How did Drudge get an early copy of the speech, is he just breaking the embargo earlier than anyone else, or does he have a mole in The Presumptuous One's speechwriting team?

Don't see how The Presumptuous One wins any votes in places he needs to win votes by being seen getting adored by crowds of un-Americans. But, The Obama knows better, and this wave of adulation will build across the Atlantic, crash on our shores, and sweep through all the way to the other coast, enveloping all those flyover states imbetween, or at least I guess that's what they're hoping for.

CHANGE, We Believe That's Exactly What He Promised. . .

(via Instapundit)

Change, it turns out, wasn't all that it was cracked up to be. Having campaigned for the past year as the agent of transformation, the man who would lead an historic shift in America's political direction, Barack Obama is discovering that there is quite a lot he likes about the way things are.

Gerard Baker, for the Times of London commenting about The Obama's recent habits of mutability.

Evolving positions are a fact of political life, if one were to be such a stalwart as to never change any of their positions, that politician would look a fool.

But the candidate of change has brought changeability to a level that very nearly resembles an artform. He not only changes his mind, he has done it within the very same day on a few occasions.

Now that's Change We Can Believe In!

He's not the first Muslim major party candidate for President, The Obama is pure Zen, baby.

He reminds me of this little story:

Kitano Gempo, abbot of Eihei temple, was ninety-two years old when he passed away in the year 1933. He endeavored his whole life not to be attached to anything. As a wandering mendicant when he was twenty he happened to meet a traveler who smoked tobacco. As they walked together down a mountain road, they stopped under a tree to rest. The traveler offered Kitano a smoke, which he accepted, as he was very hungry at the time.

"How pleasant this smoking is," he commented. The other gave him an extra pipe and tobacco and they parted.

Kitano felt: "Such pleasant things may disturb meditation. Before this goes too far, I will stop now." So he threw the smoking outfit away.

When he was twenty-three years old he studied I-King, the profoundest doctrine of the universe. It was winter at the time and he needed some heavy clothes. He wrote his teacher, who lived a hundred miles away, telling him of his need, and gave the letter to a traveler to deliver. Almost the whole winter passed and neither answer nor clothes arrived. So Kitano resorted to the prescience of I-King, which also teaches the art of divination, to determine whether or not his letter had miscarried. He found that this had been the case. A letter afterwards from his teacher made no mention of clothes.

"If I perform such accurate determinative work with I-King, I may neglect my meditation," felt Kitano. So he gave up this marvelous teaching and never resorted to its powers again.

When he was twenty-eight he studied Chinese calligraphy and poetry. He grew so skillful in these arts that his teacher praised him. Kitano mused: "If I don't stop now, I'll be a poet, not a Zen teacher." So he never wrote another poem.

The Obama avoids attachment to any one position, The Obama only needs for you to believe in the rightness of his actions at the time of the acting. If the exact opposite is called for just a moment later, than that too was the right action.

Also reminds me a bit of Heraclitus, 'No man ever steps in the same river twice, for it's not the same river and he's not the same man.'

He's the first candidate to have attended higher education after postmodernism had taken over, and he seems to learned the lessons of a generalized antipathy to the belief that there is such thing as an objective truth very well.

There are no 'truths', so there can be no 'flip flops' (except of course, the kind that Matt McConaughey loses)

I Guess Since His Dog Will Likely Be Spayed or Neutered . . .

Over at the Politcal Radar at the ABC News blog, this bit about the Obama's family pending introduction of a canine companion to their home

While the Obamas have decided a dog will be a part of their family, the timing is still up in the air. During a May appearance on Good Morning America, the couple was asked whether their two daughters had yet to receive the dog they were promised.

Sen. Obama responded that Malia and Sasha have "a year to test whether they are sufficiently responsible," but was cut off by his wife who insisted, "They are responsible...we're getting a dog."

When Obama replied that he was concerned about who would be the official pet walker, the potential first lady said, "You will. You will all be walking the dog."

"Okay. All right," Obama conceded.

Seems like the Obama's new puppy won't be the only neutered male in the household (assuming they get a male, and they neuter him, which if they get a purebred, they may not).

Seems like a pound puppy is the way to go, or better a pound dog, one with a backstory, preferrably a pitbull mix of some kind, or some other 'real' dog, and none of this Bichon Frise or Soft Coated Wheaton Terrier crap (or god forbid, a Poodle or Chinese Crested, I'm OK with Mini-Schnauzer, though, but just barely) the AKC is trying to push.

Given that Obama is a mutt himself (just like me, or somewhat like me, afterall, my African-American father is actually African-American, and not just African), seems like picking up a proper grade "A" American Dog of Not Easily Determined Breed would be the way to show that The Obamas are of the people, and not hoity toity types.

Speaking of hoity toity types, surely the McCain's Yorkies are all Cindy's, right?

Barack's Denver Problem . . .

(an interesting post about the above video can be found at Undercover Black Man)

Presumptive Democratic Party Presidential Candidate Barack Obama may have a slight Denver problem. The above incident is just an indication of things to come. Those that believe The Obama Will Wash Away All Our Sins are going to descend on Denver and list their grievances (think Festivus on steroids), elucidate their dreams for a New and Improved Even MORE United States (so long as you bitter bible and gun clingers toe the line).

These folks are not just going to have an impact on the Democratic National Convention, they'll have an impact on the election, too. Local media in Denver is going to be covering the madness, from the aging hippies trying to ressurect 1968, to the Code Pinkers, to the Extreme Greens, lots of nuts are going to be attracted to this event, and seeing all that tumult up close may change the minds of Independent voters in Colorado in general.

I think the convention may contribute to McCain winning in Colorado, and if Obama doesn't pick up a few Western States, he'll have trouble Electorally.

One more video for your perusal (in lieu of further comment). . .

A Modest Suggestion for The Obama Presidential Campaign

Due to his stances on a variety of societal issues (Abortion and Gay Rights, mainly), Sen. Barack Obama may have some difficulty winning converts amongst "evangelical" voters.

I think there is one sure fire way to attract those that are born again and have had their sins washed away by the blood of Jesus.

Embrace the insinuations that you are the Antichrist (one typically rambling and insane example can be found in the comments to this Ambivablog post).

I know this sounds crazy, and the suggestions that you are the Antichrist are from the crazy fringes of crazyland, to be sure. But many evangelicals hope and pray that we are indeed at the end times, and the only way to hasten the return of Our Lord is to welcome the coming tribulations of the ascendancy of the Antichrist as foretold in Revelations.

You'd be joining an extensive list of historical figures who have been identified as being the Antichrist going back as far as Nero, through to various popes, even Ronald Wilson Reagan and Osama Bin Laden.

You'd be joining a long list of folks who have been called the Antichrist. It might seem counterintuitive to embrace these absurd insuniations, but when you see the amount of merchandise moved by The Left Behind series, you can't dismiss the effect that voters who sincerely desire the Second Coming and would be willing to suffer to see it hastened could have in the Electoral College. These modern day adventists could help to seriously boost your appeal, especially in states where you seem weak.

So, just a few subtle hints that conform to one crackpot theory or another will do. A blue turban would be a good start, that'd get the Nostradamus crowd, talk about requiring a national ID system, that'd get the 'Mark of the Beast' crowd going, talk about expanding our involvement in the UN and other international organizations, that'd get the 'New World Order' crowd frenzied.

All these moves (except for the turban) would be consistent with your stated policy goals, just find a way to play up the Messianic passions of your followers, play up your status as an agent of great change (and tribulations), and speak about the enduring peace that you shall bring a united and healed global community under your leadership (which come to think of it, pretty much is your current rhetoric), and you just might find yourself winning over the evangelical vote, not because they agree with you, but because they'll view you as a harbinger of the "end times".

It's a brilliant strategy, one that you seem to already be undertaking (come to think of it), so keep up the good work. Whether you've stumbled upon this ploy by accident or not, it's in your vested self interest to play it up for all its worth.

(also, find a way to fake suffering a traumatic head wound and then mount a miraculous and speedy recovery, that'd really freak out the end timers . . .)

Tracking My Music Collection . . .

Because every post at someone else's blog is an excuse to make the comment section all about me, I whipped up a list of the albums on my Zune in Google Docs to share with the world what music I carry around with me.

This move was inspired by this Althouse post where she discusses the recent non-revelatory revelations regarding what plays on the "oPod" of The Obama (pictured above, allegedly, captured by The Mark Pike)

Seems like politicians are expected to make some sort of statement as to their musical tastes, so rather than hiding behind some carefully crafted and focus-group tested handpicked precis of my music collection, I'm laying it all out there for the world to see in all its horror and glory (in preparation for 2016, of course). Unfortunately, haven't found a tool that allows direct exporting of the list from the Zune software, or WMP, so I had to enter each the old fashioned way, which sucks, sucks hard (but was good typing practice, I suppose)

And is it really a good idea to put an "o" in front of stuff to indicate it being of The Obama. Anyone who has seen one of the great comic films of the last quarter century wouldn't help but wonder, 'Which songs on The Obama's oPod leads to The Obama wearing his O-Face?'

The Obama's Magic Bus . . .

First his grandmother, then an advisor or two, then his spiritual advisor and mentor, then his hand-picked VP picker, then his new and improved Presidential Seal, all these things have found their way under The Magic Bus of The Obama.

Well, now The Obama's gone too far!

Nobody throws ScarJo under the bus! (and gets away with it)

Seems there's more room under Obama's bus, than in it, that's pretty remarkable, it must be TARDIS like, or something

A Multiple Choice Survey for ObamaNation (Possibly Inspired by Pandas and Bamboo Shoots) . . .

Which is most correct?

A) God, Damn America.
B) Goddamn, America.
C) God, Damn, America!
D) America, Damn Dog.

(show your work in the comments section)

Let's Talk About My Volunteer Work . . .

Just like Mr. Johnson, I too am an unpaid (and unbeknownst to Sen. Obama), volunteer consultant on presumptive presidential candidate Barack Obama's search for a Vice President.

I'm not part of the 'vetting' process, I'm more of an ideas man, big picture sort of dude. Cause one thing that the Obama campaign needs more of is vaguely stated, poorly reasoned, oddly conceived 'big picture' pronouncements.

Here are my five (+ one who should be on the list, but unfortunately is a bit too young) choices for Candidate Obama's running mate.



I've already made the case before, but come on, the Obama-Oprah ticket is a natural, right? Before you dismiss it out of hand, need to look into the possibility that by being on the ticket, The Oprah could give UNLIMITED contributions to the campaign (I assume the rule for VP candidate is the same as P candidate, I don't know for sure, though). An extra 300-400 million of spending loot could come in handy for a national campaign that's been burning through their massive cash reserves (they're not wasteful, they're merely trying to stimulate the economy since the GOP won't do it).



Clearly, The Obama is going to have the hardest time convincing the 'blue collar comedy' crowd that he'll be a President that serves all the people (and not just some of the people). Picking Larry The Cable Guy would be a brilliant bit of rebranding that would help The Obama sweep The South. I'd call this ticket "The Messiah Guy and The Cable Guy" (or "The Barry and Larry Show"). Should shore up appeal with those bitter bible and gun clinging types.



The master of selling hope, hype, a lifestyle, and things packaged in pretty boxes meet Steve Jobs (ha-ha, see how I did the reversal thing there). iMac, meet iMessiah. iMight choke on all the smugness on the stage and at the convention when this announcement gets made, but this choice would make sense on many levels. One, same as the Oprah effect, Mr. Jobs could spare a couple hundred million dollars. Two, rather than running away from marketing speak, the selling of style over substance, and worrying about appealing only to a narrow audience, embrace it. Evangelical zeal is never a bad thing in presidential politics. Also, The Obama needs to start wearing some nice white mock-turtlenecks to contrast with Jobs signature black mock-turtlenecks.



OK, so they both have some 'church' problems in convincing many voters that they're viable leaders of the Executive branch. But, all they have to do is speak sincerely, maybe jump on a couch or two (on the Oprah show, naturally), and flash their winning smiles at the American public, and all will be forgotten. Obama-Cruise works on many levels, The Obama needs to embrace the cult of celebrity, it's his surest path to the office he seeks. He can't run on policy, cause his stated positions and voting record are anathema to voters in a majority of states (and more importantly in states that make up a majority in the Electoral College), so if he can't run as the liberal that he is, he might as well just run as a celebrity. The Cruise brand is somewhat tarnished at the moment, but he's still popular enough to help, and the alternative stars old enough to run with him are either too foreign (sorry Salma Hayek, but please, campaign vigorously for Obama, and in tight outfits), too young (sorry Will Smith, sure technically you're old enough, but given The Obama's relative youth, putting a 39 year old on the ticket probably would hurt), or too lefty (sorry Sean Penn, maybe your good friends Ahmadinejad or Chavez will invite you into their governments in some sort of decision-making position).



OK, I know this might seem like an odd choice. I mean, Larry David isn't exactly the most likeable fella. But, your politics mesh, he'd be a lightning rod for controversy and would make a gaffe a night on the campaign trail. That could come in handy since you can't necessarily rely on the media continuing to ignore your tendency to have some really awkward moments when not speaking off of a teleprompter. Let David be the focus, eventually folks will just be all, 'Oh, that's just Larry being Larry', plus since he's Jewish, you'll squelch all those 'not a friend to Israel' insinuations that swirl around your campaign. Added bonus, another opportunity for those "Barry and Larry" bumperstickers.



Ahhhh, Sen. Obama's bestest email-buddy. She's too young, but if it were possible, this would make a great ticket. (OK, not really, but yeah, an excuse to post a picture of her).

I'm No April Fool This Year . . .

I've noticed stories in the media from supposed conservatives who have suddenly seen the light and decided that Sen. Obama wouldn't make such a bad president afterall, and that all his empty rhetoric isn't at all empty but instead the exact kind of bridge building, forward thinking, and content free, ideation needed to unite our divided country into one purposeful mass of getting things done.

Well, I thought they were all wishful thinking from Big Liberal Media, but while on the road to Damascus (figuratively, not literally, despite Majority Leader Pelosi's willingness to travel there, and Sen. Obama's willingness to have friendly chats with the Optometrist, an actual trip to Damascus is both out of my budget, and beyond my tolerance level for subjecting myself to potential danger), I was struck off my horse (again, figuratively, I do most of my travelling not on horseback, but by foot or car, I've only ever ridden a horse once, it was one of those rent by the hour operations at the stables near Griffith Park, and it was on a hot July day, and the only person more miserable about the whole thing besides me, was probably the horse I was riding in on) by a bolt from the blue and was divinely inspired to see that my anti-Obama ways have been sadly mistaken all this time.

That's right, I now truly believe that The Obama WILL INDEED wash away our sins, and The Obama WILL INDEED mark the early 21st century as a special time when we were able to collectively witness the transformative power he will undoubtably unleash upon the entire globe. He will not just be the President of these damned dis-United States, no, not The Obama, his calling is higher, he is being called to be the leader of a United Planet, and only The Obama can wash away our sins, but all our differences, too.

I am now officially an Obamaniac, and posting today will reflect this, my new reality, spread the word, proselytize on His behalf, reflect in his glory, reflect upon his countenance, reflect upon his life story, and reflect upon the tiny and small sacrifice of one small vote that he asks of you to bring about a glorious new day not only for this country, but for all of Humanity.

Obama in the Highest, Ours is the Kingdom Forever . . .