24 January 2009

I'm Merely 12th on Obama's List of Most Hated Bloggers (But I'm Aiming for Top Ten Status)

What, you think major radio personalities are the only ones inspiring the wrath of #44?

So, I have an inside source who claims to have access to President Obama's enemies list. I can't give you specifics on the daring and dangerous subterfuge employed by my source to sneak out the details of this list. Suffice to say, it would make an excellent suspense film, the kind that Hitchcock used to make, and though there was no hanging off of Mt. Rushmore, there were monuments involved, and that whole Purple Tunnel of Doom, it was actually an elaborate ruse set up by my source to slip surveillance so that she (or he) could get the information in the proper hands.

Hope and Change is hard to fight, when you are up against 'true believers', they'll stop at nothing to prevent embarrassment. Also, my source found out that the whole 'enormity' thing was an inside joke (Enormity is Michelle's nickname for the President's man parts).

Anyway, I think I can safely give you the top 15 Most Hated Bloggers (or Blogs) as currently conceived of by President Barack Obama, this list is subject to change (especially if I have anything to say or do about it, I'm moving up, the notes about each are my own speculation as why these particular folks are on the list)

1. Instapundit - Why would he be #1? He's a pussycat, but he's a pussycat with a huge audience and a libertarian outlook which is antithetical to bigger government progressivism which Obama espouses. That's troublesome for The One

2. Victor Davis Hanson - He's just so damn eloquent, and he's focused on uncovering the historical echoes (and the bad places similar choices in the past lead) of the policy choices the Obama Administration seems headed towards.

3. Deadspin - Yeah, not so much about the politics, Obama the mega sports fan just doesn't like their incessant snarkiness.

4. Hugh Hewitt - Another conservative blogger who is sticking to his principles, despite the swirl of Hope and Change in the air.

5. Glenn Greenwald - I know, I know, he's basically on the President's side, but his prose style is just so turgid that Obama, The Author can't stand this torturer of the language.

6. Hit & Run - Reason Magazine's group blog, as a group these libertarians seem rather wary of New Deal II. I can't imagine why.

7. Megan McArdle - You'd think she made the list for her eloquent advocacy on behalf of libertarian economic policies, but no, it's just his male insecurities and general freaked-outedness about a woman taller than he is.

8. Andrew Sullivan - Again, on his side, yet he makes the list. Why? Simple, even an adoration junkie like President Barack Obama can take only so much obsequious fawning before wanting to puke. Sully has consistently pegged the Presidential Puke-O-Meter with his sycophantic posts regarding #44.

9. Perez Hilton - Another surprise for this list, he's just a bit too catty for Obama's taste. Plus those stupid scribbles he adds to pictures are an affront to photographers and photoshoppers everywhere (doesn't help that he dissed Michelle's gown designer).

10. The Blog at The Weekly Standard / The Corner at NRO - From Obama's perspective both these blogs and magazines sort of blend together into one big pile of conservative punditry. He has trouble differentiating them, so he just melded them together into one big enemy. That's the awesome power of being The One.

11. The Volokh Conspiracy - Not all the conspirators incur the wrath of #44, but enough of them do, and they state their cases with such clarity, that he's keeping an eye on them. Plus there's a bit of the old professional jealousy thing going on since he was a one time Law Prof himself.

12. Immodest Proposals - Woohoo!!! Yeah, Me!!!! It's an honor just to be nominated. My prominence on this list is completely out of proportion with the number of eyeballs I get. I think it's the whole "The Obama Will Wash Away Your Sins" thing that especially riles him. He has his eye on me, but I have my eye on him, so the feeling is mutual #44.

13. Hello Kitty Hell - Obama's secretly a huge Hello Kitty fan (being surrounded by all those women has to have some sort of effect, I guess this is one of them), and he doesn't appreciate this blog's attacking of that great brand.

14. Little Green Footballs - How are we supposed to be all Hope and Change-y and have the world love us again if blogs like LGF (or the Jawa Report) are pointing out all the problems in the world? The Obama is not amused. Plus, the comment section does get a bit out of hand there, and every time Obama's tried to register, they've ran out of space before he could sign up.

15. Althouse - Althouse earns the last spot on this list, despite having voted for President Obama. She's just a bit too gleeful in pointing out when he's being hypocritical, and she's a bit too eager to point out the insane adoration accorded #44 coming from the supposedly neutral media. Those are traits that irk President Obama, and that irksomeness is enough to make the last spot on the current list.

I'm sure this list will expand over time, give him a few months and he'll probably make Nixon's enemies list look paltry.

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