LOL Obama, Daily 16 March 2010

What am I saying here?

That Obama is recycling his campaign speeches and pretending that's a smart way to govern?

That it's time to recycle DC, and throw all the bums out?

That I'm learning how to play with layers, and went a bit overboard?

Almost forgot to link a post elsewhere about the NYT photo that this is a play on. Two weeks from now, no one will remember that stupid cross photo, so I'll post a copy below, and a link to the article that was illustrated by it (and is often the case, if something ends up being controversial, it disappears down the memory hole, the article no longer has a photo connected to it at NYT website)

Your Daily Photo (Somebody Must Have Wee Weed On All Those Tees, Cause Nobody's Buying Them Edition)

Just trying to work the phrase "wee weed up" in to this corner of the blogosphere.

Boundless be the eloquence of The One.

Or not..., explain to me again, using a recent example, why folks think our current President is preternaturally well spoken?

On This Day, 48 Years Ago...

. . . The One chose to reveal his latest incarnation. He escaped the womb on August 4th, 1961, but His Oneness was made known even before the moment of birth. The exact point where He went from lump of cells to The Hope of Mankind Incarnate is still in dispute, and is an issue best left for theologians. Given The One's stance on reproductive rights, we have to assume He would have been comfortable with the notion that His Earthly Vessel of Birthing might have chosen a different path, and delayed his birth, but He could not afford the delay, so He made sure that His parents were prepared for His coming.

He chose a Kenyan father and Kansan mother so that He may be The One, for The One must be of The Many, and The Many can Worship The One. He chose to be a He, not because He-ness is better than She-ness, but because, unfortunately (as The Primary Opponent proved), the electorate isn't quite ready for She-ness in the House of White. He chose straightness, not because gayness would be a bad thing, but because of the Electorate again, and while The One must contain The Many, some of The Many must be contained only in His Compassion, and not in His orientation or gender.

The One chose a humble existence for His formative years, and He chose to be a traveler at His mother's side, eventually settling on The Island of The Chosen (and the Island of the Birthing, Despite what some naysayers say) to grow into a man. As all spiritual leaders must, He sinned, He struggled, He suffered, so that He may understand all that it means to be One with The Many. But to lead The Many, The One must be the best of us, so no state school would do for his education, Harvard Law beckoned, and The One answered the call.

The One also met The Wife, she would be the perfect balance to his Oneness, she would be the only one to have the audacity to not adore The One, and her lack of adoration makes The One love her all the more. The One had to work in evil law firms after graduation, but His Higher Calling lead him to that most noble of all enterprises, Community Organizing. Once The One solved all the problems faced by the citizens of His small section of Chicago (cursed are the naysayers who claim that problems remain, He gave them perfect love, and they have prospered), He embarked on his true calling, a life in politics.

His rise has been meteoric, and His rise is not at an end. He will reverse the rise of the oceans, and cool the fevered earth, He will heal Mother Gaia herself, and Mother Gaia will bless the earth for its people had the wisdom to follow The One. He understands that our prosperity is dooming Gaia, so he has worked feverishly to reverse decades of American (and yeah, even global) prosperity, and he has succeeded in that reversal beyond even the wildest imaginings of The One (and as you could imagine, the imaginings of such a blessed being could be quite wild).

The One knows that perfection frightens the masses, so The One makes sure to have bad weeks, and even months, he stumbles and mumbles, and hires incompetent cronies, not because he is imperfect, but because these flaws are necessary to prevent His Awesomeness from scaring the populous. He is wise in his compassion, and His willingness to seem so fallible, feeble, and forelorn during his first half year in office is all part of a larger plan to Be the Change That You Believe In.

So on this day, Day One, of Year 48 (the calendar does not yet reflect today as Day One, or this year as Year 48, but give it time, give it time), The One celebrated, and The Many celebrated with Him.

And as the future is not yet written, there are still forces that work against The One, and The Oneness He Will Bring. If our electorate is not wise, and rejects The One for his second term, Mother Gaia will punish the planet, for her wrath is great, but she will single out The United States for the greatest wrath, for they will have deserved it, and she will inflict her worst on The Flyover States, for those shall be the people that thwarted The Great Healing that The One was put on this planet to accomplish.

Do not let this darkness happen, do not fail The One, do not doom the planet, and celebrate The One who shall Unite The Many, for today is His Birthday.



[largely a repost of last year's birthday ode to The One, with a few lines added to reflect events that have passed since then, didn't see that whole destruction of the economy thing coming back in last August, or that the 'birther' nonsense would continue, that's for sure...]

On This Day, 47 Years Ago . . .

. . . The One chose to reveal his latest incarnation. He escaped the womb on August 4th, 1961, but His Oneness was made known even before the moment of birth. The exact point where He went from lump of cells to The Hope of Mankind Incarnate is still in dispute, and is an issue best left for theologians. Given The One's stance on reproductive rights, we have to assume He would have been comfortable with the notion that His Earthly Vessel of Birthing might have chosen a different path, and delayed his birth, but He could not afford the delay, so He made sure that His parents were prepared for His coming.

He chose a Kenyan father and Kansan mother so that He may be The One, for The One must be of The Many, and The Many can Worship The One. He chose to be a He, not because He-ness is better than She-ness, but because, unfortunately (as The Primary Opponent proved), the electorate isn't quite ready for She-ness in the House of White. He chose straightness, not because gayness would be a bad thing, but because of the Electorate again, and while The One must contain The Many, some of The Many must be contained only in His Compassion, and not in His orientation or gender.

The One chose a humble existence for His formative years, and He chose to be a traveler at His mother's side, eventually settling on The Island of The Chosen to grow into a man. As all spiritual leaders must, He sinned, He struggled, He suffered, so that He may understand all that it means to be One with The Many.

But to lead The Many, The One must be the best of us, so no state school would do for his education, Harvard Law beckoned, and The One answered the call.

The One also met The Wife, she would be the perfect balance to his Oneness, she would be the only one to have the audacity to not adore The One, and her lack of adoration makes The One love her all the more.

The One had to work in evil law firms after graduation, but His Higher Calling lead him to that most noble of all enterprises, Community Organizing. Once The One solved all the problems faced by the citizens of His small section of Chicago (cursed are the naysayers who claim that problems remain, He gave them perfect love, and they have prospered), He embarked on his true calling, a life in politics.

His rise has been meteoric, and His rise is not at an end. He will reverse the rise of the oceans, and cool the fevered earth, He will heal Mother Gaia herself, and Mother Gaia will bless the earth for its people had the wisdom to follow The One.

So on this day, Day One, of Year 47 (the calendar does not yet reflect today as Day One, or this year as Year 47, but give it time, give it time), The One celebrated, and The Many celebrated with Him.

And as the future is not yet written, there are still forces that work against The One, and The Oneness He Will Bring. If our electorate is not wise, and rejects The One, Mother Gaia will punish the planet, for her wrath is great, but she will single out The United States for the greatest wrath, for they will have deserved it, and she will inflict her worst on The Flyover States, for those shall be the people that thwarted The Great Healing that The One was put on this planet to accomplish.

Do not let this darkness happen, do not fail The One, do not doom the planet, and celebrate The One who shall Unite The Many, for today is His Birthday.

You Make the Call: Fawning Article Regarding Candidate Obama, or Serious Expose Revealing Potentially Campaign Changing Health Issue?

(via Michelle Malkin)

From reporter Judith Bonesky of Bild

“My name’s Judith” I reply. "I’m Barack Obama, nice to meet you!” he says, and puts his arm across my shoulder. I put my arm around his hip – wow, he didn’t even sweat! WHAT A MAN!

Now, you might think this is just part and parcel with the insane fawning and hype that accompanied Presumptive Candidate Obama as he toured Asia and Europe.

But what if something else is at play, too?

Anhidrosis is potentially a very serious medical issue, one that shouldn't be taken lightly, and could be the sign of some underlying problem.

Other potential causes are simple dehydration, but given the reporter mentions his bottle of Evian, we can possibly rule that out.

Another possible cause could be prescription (or non-prescription) drugs. Here's a list (PDF) of some drugs that may contribute to anhidrosis. Not listed are the illicit drugs that cause this problem, most notably, MDMA, but it would seem awfully odd if he were taking that stuff.

After all, The Obama has no need to ingest a chemical to get a feeling of warm and fuzzy well being towards everyone he meets and in turn reflected back at him by others. He is The One, so his very presence in a room has the effect of getting everyone to behave as if they've been dosed with several hits of Ecstasy.

Rereading the linked article, and assuming that Ms. Bonesky was tripping balls on X (or at least The Obama related syndrome that strongly mimicks the effects of the drug), it makes, much, much, more sense.

Also, this whole bit about the curls: Part of a balanced workout, or middle aged guy in a gym trying to impress a younger girl with his physical prowess? YOU MAKE THE CALL!!!

(what, I can't use that bit twice in the same post?)