30 June 2006

Knowing Your Limits

(h/t Drudge)

In this modern age, nearly everyone multi-tasks from time to time.

But some folks take the concept, too far.

In the future, for anyone tempted to do so, remember the following;

  1. Masturbating while watching porn is an activity that when done privately is fine
  2. Drinking, even to the point of drunkedness, is an acceptable activity, so long as you don't do it so often as to screw with your life, and do it privately (public drinking's OK, public drunkedness, is not)
  3. Driving, another activity most people do daily, and again, driving is as American as Apple Pie, Long Island Ice Teas, and San Fernando Valley produced Porn
  4. However combining drunkedness, masturbating while watching porn, and driving, that's taking things far too far

Any one of the three done alone is fine, and even combining the two non-driving activities together without being in public would be fine.

But all three together, and in public, well I think most reasonable people would agree that the state has a reasonable interest in sanctioning such activity, especially when that combination of activities leads to an accident.

And I should add that I am making general statements regarding the rightness or wrongness of these activities, the person in question is still in court, and these are allegations, not proven facts.

(and I bet, non-ball players get caught doing this from time to time, in dash video, especially visible from the driver's seat, is an idea who's time should have never come)

Also, I'm a little disturbed that this is in civil litigation, and wasn't litigated as a criminal offense, given the set of facts being alleged. Seems to me there are a couple of clear cut crimes that were committed (wreckless driving, drunken driving, and possibly even public lewdness and attempted insurance fraud), so I think the suggestion that a pro athlete received special treatment at the hands of the officers who arrived on scene is also worth investigating (which the piece suggests is being investigated).

I'm Sold

After watching some of this World Cup, I have to say, I think MORE sports should adopt a penalty kick style resolution to resolving tied playoff contests.

In MLB, if the score remains tied after the bottom of the 12th inning, then the contest should be decided by a rousing game of strikeout. Only players on the field at the end of the game would be eligible, and only the pitchers who last pitched for each team would pitch. Now, strikeout is a game whose rules differ from playground to playground, so to be clear, I'd play a variation where you have your 4 infielders and the pitcher and catcher, the umpire would still call balls and strikes, and each team would get to bat through their line-up, any ball hit and handled by an infielder would be an out, any grounder hit past the infield would be a base hit, along with walks, any flyball hit into the field would be a double, and any home run would be a home run, also to keep things moving, each batter would be allowed a total of 4 foul balls per at bat, a 5th foul would be an automatic out. The team with the most runs wins, with fewest outs being the second tie-breaker, and fewest pitches thrown being the third tie-breaker. No more 14 or 17 or 20 inning games in the playoffs, cause no one wants to see that.

In the NBA, a playoff game tied after 1 overtime will be decided by a game of H-O-R-S-E, again, one of the five players from each team on the floor at the end of the tie would be chosen by their own coach to engage in a game deciding round of H-O-R-S-E. Imagine if in this year's finals instead of a double overtime (unfortunately, only one 1OT game this year's finals, so there wouldn't have been a H-O-R-S-E game, anyway) game you had a game of H-O-R-S-E between Dwayne Wade v. Dirk Nowitski, pretty awesome if you ask me.

In the NFL, if in the playoffs the score remains tied after the first overtime, I think to mix things up, a punt, pass and kick contest between a player designated by the head coach would be in order. Make that odd little skills contest they run for kids into something more meaningful.

In the NHL, oh wait, nevermind, first noone in the USA watches hockey, and secondly, they do the penalty kick thing, too.

That covers the main team sports in the USA, FIFA has shown the way, it's time for our leagues to follow.

(and more seriously, it's long past time that the NFL adopts the NCAA Div I style of OT, much more exciting, and fairer, too)

Great Moments In MY OWN Blog's Comment Section

Reacting to this post regarding the confluence of my own and Ken Jennings' hippie hatred, Pastor Jeff has this to say
Pastor_Jeff said...

Count me in the Cartman Club with you and Ken.

My solution? I think the humane thing to do is let them have that piece of land out west, wherever they hold Burning Man, and make them all live there on a reservation. If they think "the man" is ruining everything, they can try their hands at communal living on their own land. If we could inter the Japanese in WWII, why not the hippies? They're certainly a greater threat to America.

That's my modest proposal.

8:27 AM

I'm willing to hazard a guess and suggest that Pastor Jeff's congregation isn't affiliated in any way with the folks running this particular website.

I blame Martin Luther, myself, for sites like that one (and love the old school design of the place, takes me all the way back to 1998, woohoo!). But for him (with assistance from Guttenburg), most all Christians would still be Roman Catholic (with the others being Eastern Orthodox, their schism predates Luther's schism).

29 June 2006

Starting Small

So Scott Adams is musing on the fun to be had by hiring a private army in a third world country.

Did he read my proposal to Bill and Melinda and decide he didn't have that sort of money, so why not start small?

(also I smell a future Dogbert story line contained within this post, with the pointy-haired one, hiring out Dilbert as a consultant to Dogbert's Elbonian based mercenary army)

28 June 2006

It's All Just Another Roveian Plot

Thanks for clearing that up, Andrew Sullivan.

(once again fueling the fire of my suspicion that he is chasing some liberal hot young cutie (a term that can be applied to either gender and transcends orientation, obviously), and doing his best to get in good with said quarry)


It must be nice to be so intellectually consistent.

I'm talking about Prof. Juan Cole of University of Michigan. No matter what happens, he has one consistent and constant answer.

The grand unified theory of SW Asian politics is the simple and always greedily consumed, it's Israel's fault.
The incursion was made necessary by the Sharon-Olmert unwise policy of unilateral withdrawal. Unilateral withdrawal means that no structure was put in place for security in the evacuated terrirories, which increasingly look like a failed state, a Somalia. The PLO and Hamas have fought hot encounters recently.

Got that, Hamas doesn't get the blame for not controlling the crazies within their own party and within their own borders from doing the hostage taking thing (and reaping the retribution those actions have brought), nope, that wouldn't be consistent with Prof. Cole's pre-existing narrative of always blaming Israel for absolutely everything under the sun.

(He's too sexy for that shirt, AND IT'S ALL BECAUSE OF A ZIONIST PLOT!!!)

27 June 2006

In Hippie Hatred, I Keep Good Company

I've taken a few blogs off my link list, and added one, Ken Jennings - Blog (hat tip Prof. Orin Kerr at Volokh Conspiracy). I plan on beating his Jeopardy! streak should the good folks at Jeopardy! ever have the gumption to call me back and have me on the show (looks like I missed another season, guess I'll have to pass the test again next year). But what really sealed the deal for my linking his blog was his FAQ section.

From his AT (After Trebek) FAQ here's this little bit
What did you do with the money?
After taking care of the three essential T's (taxes, tithing, and new widescreen TV) it was a lot less than the three-million-plus you saw on Jeopardy!, but it was still more money than I ever thought I'd have in my entire life. Most of that is invested in your usual boring places: stocks, bonds, real estate, etc. I don't want to be one of these lottery winners you see bankrupt on TV a few years later, having already lost it all. Some has already gone to charity, and I plan to do a lot more of that. I don't really have a pet cause, but I can see quite a bit going to educational causes—scholarships and the like. This is not an invitation to e-mail me about paying off your student loans.

and the pay-off is in his last question and answer in the FAQ
So, what about paying off my student loans?
Get a job, hippie!

Great minds think alike. Just the same, I won't be joining the Mormon Church anytime soon. His blog has its quirks (and no comment section, but it does have a message board) and he's shilling a book coming out in September, still looks like a blog worth paying attention to (also you may be able to get some head over there).

Adam Morrison is Proud of His Tears

So EASports has begun advertising NBALive 07 and they've chosen Adam Morrison for their spokesplayer, even though Tracy McGrady is on the cover.

Seems kind of strange to feature him in the ad campaign, but I guess they figure with the draft tomorrow, rookies are what folks are talking about, and he will be one of the most talked about rookies regardless of which team takes him ('he shouldn't have been picked so high!' or alternately, 'those teams that passed on him are going to be sorry'). There's video of the ads at the link, and one is called Mustache (all about that skeevy 70s porn star bit of fuzz on his upper lip, he wants to return the days of the mustache to the NBA, will he also try and bring back the super tight short shorts?) another is called Emotion (all about his tearful exit from the NCAA Tourney at the hands of UCLA) and also one called Nicknames (he lists acceptable nicknames, like 'Big Vanilla Earthquake', 'The Great Mustachio', and 'Disco Thunder Dunk'). Interesting ads, never been a fan of the series though, basketball doesn't translate to console gaming the way football does.

Also congrats to Dwayne Wade, you've become the first NBALive cover player to lead his team to the NBA Championship during the same season he appeared on the cover (what jinx?), I don't think cover star Tracy McGrady will be following in his footsteps for 07-08, though.

But With a Name Like Nuts . . .

There's a bill brewing in British Parliament to relegate "Lads Mags" to the top shelf of retail racks along with the truly hardcore porn (due to the increasing nipple count). The Telegraph has a point-counterpoint competing essay feature on the subject. (and as usual, when it comes to nanny type measures like the PMRC or V-Chip here in the States, it's the more liberal political party that often takes the lead, in this case the bill was introduced by Labour)

Tom Leonard, the Telegraph Media Editor, takes the pro side, and he's more interested in attacking them for their violence and low level of discourse rather than the nipple count. Plus in the below quoted paragraph they censor an expletive, yet I'm not even sure what expletive they are censoring, any anglophiles out there willing to fill in the blanks should do so in the comments, here's a taste of his defense of the bill
The same issue also features graphic images from the "sickest film ever made", "UK's hardest gingers 2006 - Who's the toughest freckle-faced freak?" and an interview with an underworld enforcer. The hard man's "equipment" section shows a range of his weapons, or what Maxim calls "stuff to s--- people up with".

For the opposing viewpoint, the Telegraph engages the Editor of Nuts Magazine (probably NSFW here in the USA) who makes perfectly clear some of what distinguishes his magazine from the harder fare
The uncovered female breast is as far as we go at Nuts. Pornography is about pictures of vaginas, penises, anuses, oral and group sex. To bracket the popular mainstream press with this sector is deliberately misleading.

And yet, as I read that I think to myself, 'self, don't you think a magazine called 'Nuts' should at least have an uncovered testicle or two from time to time?', and to that query I have no answer.

Anyway, good to see the British Parliament attack the major issues of the day.

And mostly unrelated, should Rupert Murdoch ever decide to challenge the LATimes with a NYPost/The Sun style tabloid, I'll subscribe, so long as he adds some good old fashion Page 3 style frontal nudity each day

(Page 3 girls RULE!)

(and I think NYC could handle some page 3 style frontal nudity, blow people's minds and brighten up the NYPost some)

(also, maybe I'll take up golf)

Chingada Venezuela

Americans are the most patriotic folks in the world, according to this poll (hat tip Drudge) reported by AP.

Well that patriotism manifests itself in many ways here, I think Team America: World Police, and in particular one of the songs in that film, is one of the purest most wonderful expressions of that patriotism.

Let's see someone write a song Chingada Venezuela, then I'll believe they might be a real challenger to our crown, rather than a distant pretender.

Being that it's an AP report, they can't help but praise Hugo Chavez for the unifying and pride generating effect he's had on his people.

Somehow credit for Americans' patriotism doesn't flow forth from President Bush's leadership.

Also, polls like this are ridiculous in the extreme, meaningless, and most likely will be used by media types in other countries to once again assert how evil and dangerous Americans are and how sophisticatedly global in outlook their own citizenry happen to be.

The writer for AP failed to make perfectly clear how superior the European attitude of NOT being proud of your country is compared to our childish American pride of place, but I'm sure others will make that point for her.

Solving Problems, You Didn't Even Know You Had

That's what the free market is best at doing, not only filling observed needs, and then driving the price down, or quality up, of the products and services, but also anticipating needs and then creating demand for products and services where none existed before.

Who knew 10 years ago that ring tones would be a multi-billion dollar a year business?

Who knew you could sell coffee for $4 a cup, to regular folks in most every urban/suburban community?

Who knew colon hydrotherapy would sweep the nation and be enjoyed on a regular basis by tens of millions of Americans (OK, wait, that one hasn't happened yet, that's still a coastal elite sort of luxury)?

Gizmodo has some of the next wave of gadgets you didn't know you could live without, but once you know they exist, you must have them (or not).

First up, the UV (for bacteria killing) / Heat (for defeating moisture) powered shoe dryer!

Next, an inflatable meeting room (you know you want one, $5900 price tag, be damned)!

And, a radio-controlled mouse (a fake critter kind, not the pointing device)!

Finally, Even more expensive than usual Bottled Water for Idiots! (with Extra (and useless) Oxygen!!)!!!

That's today's round-up of products you didn't know you needed or wanted, but come 2010 will wonder how you ever lived without.

Firefox, Why Hath Thou Forsaken Me?

For no reason I can suss, Firefox won't let me connect to this site. I had to dust off IE6 to write this post.

This sucks, hopefully Blogger will fix this soon.

(I need my tabs, I can't browse without them)

UPDATE: Seems to have been just a plain old overflowing cache problem, should have thought of that sooner, guess I'm getting slower and less computer literate in my old age.

26 June 2006

Haiku Moments In Other Blogs' Comment Sections (Hopefully not an irrregular feature)

So I was reading this post at Redstate.com about Pres. Sec. Tony Snow's handling of the press conference in the wake of the SWIFT Program outing by the NYT (and LAT), and the first few comments are Haiku (so of course, I copy and paste them here for your perusal)
A haiku By: ConservativeMutant
Snowdrift in winter
Conceals the strident question
Of Helen Thomas.

my turn By: kingronjo
Snow blasted away
The gaggle shot from the sky
Clueless as always

[ Parent ] (User Info) (#2)

Helen Thomas By: Tully
Fading to dotage
with the cracks showing: Crazy
aunt in the attic

[ Parent ] (User Info) (#8)

And another one... By: mikefisk
Gaggle in uproar
Stretch flails his fist in anger
Helen Thomas faints

"I could explain, but that would be very long, very convoluted, and make you look very stupid. Nobody wants that... except maybe me."
[ Parent ] (User Info) (#10)

Me too... By: liberal execration
Inane questions flow
Truth smashes them asunder
Rising snow freezes

[ Parent ] (User Info) (#11)

Cold shower needed By: RBMN
press corps white house zoo
monkey in love with his hand
cold shower needed

[ Parent ] (User Info) (#15)

Navigating the Clarion Cliffs By: kwc
Assailed from all sides
The new mate steers the ship past
The shrieking harpies

[ Parent ] (User Info) (#17)

My turn... By: furious
Doyenne of the Press,
She's wearing a hat.

"I find your lack of faith disturbing." -- Darth Vader
[ Parent ] (User Info) (#20)

I'm impressed, though not enough to add this to the irregular feature, great moments in other blogs' comment sections, which is why this gets its own category (and hopefully singular appearance)

Why West Virginia Reminds Me of Central Africa

It occured to me that West Virginia is much like Central Africa (maybe the Gates could buy that State instead).

You have despotic leadership installing themselves as an 'elected' leader for life (Sen. for Life Robert Byrd, broke the record last week, woohoo!), interested mainly in feathering their own beds and constructing monuments in their name, rather than truly helping their own people.

You have the surrounding governments (or in this case, Senators) unwilling to put a halt to this theft, so long as the main thief (of course we are talking about the Grand Keagle of Pork) helps in their own pilferage.

You have an area rich in natural resources, namely coal, which should have made everyone wealthy, but instead seems to fuel the cycle of poverty that has persisted in that region for as long as they've been digging coal out of the ground.

(maybe West Virginians will realize that all the pork Sen. Byrd has brought home has added to, rather than alleviated some of the misery that infests that small mountain state)

And should sensible folks everywhere need reminding come November, imagine this scenario in Jan 2007, Chair of the Senate Appropriations Committee, Senator Robert C. Byrd, Democrat - West Virginia.

(vote Republican as if your life, and money, depended on it)

Outrage Fatigue

Ed Driscoll comments upon, and links to Prof. Reynolds comments regarding Bill Keller's defense of the NYT's publication of their piece, over administration objections, on the use of financial information against terrorist.

I have long since given up on LAT, and the NYT, and know to the marrow of my bones that they both are actively rooting for another terror attack within the borders of the United States. It must sicken them every time a Bush Administration member defends their aggressive war on terror with the line, 'We fight there, so as not to fight them here, and the proof is, no attacks in almost 5 years'.

So whether it's a conscious policy, or unconscious, it doesn't matter. What is clear is that they are actively pursuing every story they can to do all they can do within their limited power to create the conditions for another attack on US soil.

Tony Snow said it best, they act as if the 'right to know' trumps the 'right not to get killed'.

But as far as outrage, nope, no outrage from me, just resigned to the knowledge that we have major media outlets who actively root for the enemy, are allied with the enemy, and won't be satisfied until there is another mass casualty attack within our borders.

There's no way that an Operation Overlord could have been successful in this media environment. War is hell. Right now many media outlets are trying to make it even worse. Let's hope their campaign against the Bush Administration fails and despite the best efforts of the NYT and LAT terrorists won't have the satisfaction of watching shocked and horrified Americans in the wake of another attack on Al-Jazeera or CNNi (who must be pissed that they didn't get this scoop themselves, they're slacking in their anti-American jihads)

Like I said, I'm not outraged at all, I've been conditioned to expect this behavior from certain media outlets.

Person of the Game

I don't know much about Soccer/Football. I haven't watched (or attempted to tape) every match. I haven't had my joy in a game I love turn into disgust, like some folk.

Instead, I just have one question, after watching Italy-Australia, I wonder if for the T-Mobile Player of the Game, can you vote for the Refs (Changing it to Person of the Game, since Refs aren't Players)?

From the BBC

55 mins: Marcello Lippi is forced to shuffle his pack in the wake of Marco Materazzi's dismissal and brings on Andrea Barzagli for the hapless Luca Toni. Australia have the bit between their teeth now.

"An absolutely astounding decision. He wasn't the last man, it wasn't that bad a foul - and yet the referee has shown the red card. Disgusting."
Chris Waddle, Radio Five Live

90+ mins: Fabio Grosso is brought down by Lucas Neill and Italy are awarded a penalty.

90+ mins: GOAL
Francesco Totti puts his penalty away and Italy go through to the last eight.

(Congrats Italy, anyway)

It's been a record setting World Cup for the Refs, with 11 games left, they have already shattered the record (the pinnacle being the Netherlands-Portugal match 16 Yellows, 4 Reds, awesome job Mr. Ivanov) for Yellow and Red cards, way to go zebras (even if they don't wear stripes).

And while I'm at it, add a blue line, like Hockey, and add a shot clock along with a back-field penalty, force teams to play offensively, whether they want to or not, real sports have those kind of things.

Screw tradition.

25 June 2006

A Modest Proposal for Bill and Melinda Gates

After hearing the news that Warren Buffett is turning over a large chunk of his fortune to add to the large chunk of your own fortune (remember, this proposal is directed to an audience of two, everyone else, you can read along if you must) the two of you will be using to benefit the globe, I'd like to suggest a very effective and way to reduce the amount of misery in Central Africa, an area that two of you have said is of serious concern to the two of you.

Looking at the CIA guide to the various countries in the region, it comes to my attention that the combined fortunes at your disposal soon are likely to dwarf the GDP of many of those Central African countries.

With that in mind, why not BUY a few of those countries.

I modestly suggest start with just three mid-sized countries, namely Chad (pop 9.9M, GDP 14.8B), ,Central African Republic (pop 4.3M, GDP 4.8B) and Niger (pop 12.5M, GDP 11.8B). They are contiguous, which is a plus, their combined population is around 25Million which is significant but not unmanageable, and given that the GDP for those three nations combined is slightly more than $30Billion, should be within your price range, with billions to spare for other projects.

Why buy the countries?

Firstly, the biggest challenge to Africa isn't AIDS, or debt, or clean water, the biggest challenge to Africa are the too frequent kleptocracies that infest and prey upon the people of those nations. Hire an army or two, expel or kill the current kleptocrats, make clear that a culture of graft and dishonesty won't be tolerated at any level, and institute policies that encourage wealth creation, fair trade within and without of each community, and emphasize the rights of women and the protection of children.

Secondly, make English the official language of each country and pay handsomely anyone willing to go to the smallest village to ensure that the folks within learn both their local language, and clear, idiomatic English. India, Philippines, Singapore, Hong Kong and South Korea among other countries have given themselves a big competitive advantage by embracing English as a common second language amongst their various peoples (in the cases where those places are multi-ethnic). There's no reason that call centers couldn't crop up in Central Africa the way they have in Bangalore.

Thirdly, make the development of people a priority over the development of natural resources. There are resources to be had in each of those countries, but nations rich in natural resources often find themselves impoverished in human resources (Saudi Arabia, and Russia come to mind) while nations starved of natural resources are forced to develop their human capital (Japan, Great Britain, Singapore, to name a few, USA is exceptionally rich in both, and unique in that regard in almost all of human history). So ignore those natural resources until the human resources are developed to the point where they will be a nice bonus rather than a crutch, or use them only for domestic consumption to offer cheap power, cheap clean water, and improved general infrastructure.

Fourthly, redraw the internal borders of these nations to better reflect the existing ethnic groups. Tribal identities and loyalties need not undercut national loyalties, but one of the continuing legacies of colonialism is that tribal rivalries were used to manage people more easily, and rather than coming to their senses and redrawing the maps, when the Africans took over again, they often continued to exploit the artificial divisions dreamed up by European cartographers. It would facilitate all the reforms and eventually create more unity, rather than less, if the internal political divisions better reflect the social and geographic divisions within the lands that soon will be in your possession.

Fifthly, turn over as much of the operation and control over to local groups as quickly as possible, and let them make the majority of decisions, but keep an eye out for graft and favoritism, and punish any instance of bad-doing immediately and severely.

Finally, all the philanthropic endeavors you muster won't do squat if these places continue to suffer under corrupt governments nationally and locally. Rather than spending billions ameliorating the symptons, you are going to have to attack the root problems head on.

I'm afraid the only way to really attack the root problem is to get despotic on their asses and do what amounts to a hostile takeover and buy up those countries wholesale, turn them around, and then and only then, give them back to the people who have deserved far, far better than what they've gotten.

Given that Microsoft made a habit of buying up companies to strip them of their assets, this process shouldn't be unknown to you. Use the talents you have, you were a pretty terrifying despot in your day, rather than pretend you've changed, use the skillset you developed at Microsoft and apply it to the reform of Central Africa.

Once your success has become clear after around 5-10 years, your countries will show the way to the other countries surrounding them.

So that's my modest proposal directed solely and Bill and Melinda Gates. Enjoy spending both your own and Warren Buffett's fortunes, I'm sure even if you don't follow my suggestions you will do much good with what you've got, but I still must assert that if you really want to change the world for the better, the path I've laid out for you wouldn't be a bad one to follow.

The 14 plus or 14 minus rule

After reading the post and comments over at Icepick's Kitchen Drawer regarding the phenomenally flexible fourteen year-old Princess Elayne (and you can vote on whether or not she is annoying, here) I thought I'd share some thoughts beyond what I said in the comments there.

Yes, she's amazing, yes, she's dressed too provocatively for a fourteen year-old, and yes, most of the men who watched her performance on Master of Champions (IGN review at link) probably found themselves disturbingly titillated.

But then, that's probably natural. It makes sense from an evolutionary biology perspective for men to be attracted to obvious markers of youth, fertility and fitness, regardless of the age of the woman they find attractive.

Luckily, we aren't governed by only our genes and base animal motives, we have minds, and can decide for ourselves that no matter how fascinating a flexible fourteen year-old might be, anything beyond mild curiosity is way, way, way off limits (someone should remind all those losers who end up on Dateline NBC).

So my simple rule for the women I date is they are no more or no less than 14 years older or younger than myself. No real reason why, other than I'm in my mid thirties, so that means I won't date anyone who needs to be carded, or anyone who might order from the senior's menu at Denny's.

Call me a discriminatory jerk if you must, but I think it's a pretty reasonable rule to live by.

24 June 2006

The Perfect Definition of 'The Left' in American Politics, Today

"its often gaseous rhetoric, its reliance on mahatmas and soothsayers, its endless bail-fund benefits and sometimes dubious appeals to conscience, its thriving population of informers, its contribution to the well-being of lawyers, its candyland expectations and obstinate denials of reality, its fatal avoidance of critical thinking, its squalid death by its own hand."

OK, so the writer of this bit wasn't talking about the current 'left' but the whirlwind of events surrounding and shaped by Dr. Timothy Leary while reviewing a new book about that freakshow. Prof. Althouse has much to say, and I suspect the comment section may get lively.

But really, read the above, admittedly taken completely out of context, quote and tell me that doesn't define 'the left' still, today.

Yes, I'm Still a Geek

Bought tickets online for Superman Returns, though I'm holding out till its first Saturday performance rather than opening day.

Also, am going to see it in IMAX 3D (though the 3D portions only total about 20 minutes).

I'm a sucker for a good gimmick, and am interested to see how well after the fact 3D effects come across on the screen.

Strangely, the film itself really doesn't seem all that interesting, and the early reviews make this sound more of a soap-opera than super-hero film.

(and while catching a bit of Spacey, Routh and Singer on Larry King, I don't think I've ever seen a hungrier look in a man's eyes than when Spacey was staring at Routh, just a tad creepy)

There's always this movie to look forward to (and I will probably see that opening night at the Magic Johnson Theatre in Crenshaw, cause that film needs that kind of audience, also no worries about too much plot, that's for sure) in August.

23 June 2006

The Instapundit Screws Up His Film Reference

I seem to be cyber-stalking Prof. Reynolds lately (a whole two posts in a row!)

He links to this Byron York NRO post which quotes Markos "Screw Them" Moulitsas (video here). The quote below is where I think Prof. Reynolds slips up
And the beauty of it is at the end of the day, they can take me down. They can take Jerome Armstrong down. They can take down Atrios. They can take down any of the so-called leaders in the movement and it doesn't matter, because this is not a leaderless movement. I used to say this was a leaderless movement, and I was wrong. It's not a leaderless movement; it's a everybody-who's-part-of-it-is-a-leader. And so you can take any single individual down, and it will continue to live on.

From my perspective I here much more of a Kirk Douglas as Spartacus complex coming from the mouth of "Kos" rather than an Alec Guinness as Obi Wan Kenobi in the first (or fourth if you want to count it like Lucas expects you to count them) Star Wars film vibe as Prof. Reynolds suggests.

But of course this is all subjective, and maybe it's really more of a Bill Murray (like anyone remembers the character's name. After perusing IMDB, who could forget the name Tripper Harrison?) in Meatballs moment
Tripper: And even if we win, if we win, HAH! Even if we play so far above our heads that our noses bleed for a week to ten days; even if God in Heaven above points his hand at our side of the field; even if every man woman and child joined hands together and prayed for us to win, it just wouldn't matter because all the really good looking girls would still go out with the guys from Mohawk because they've got all the money! It just doesn't matter if we win or if we lose. IT JUST DOESN'T MATTER!

(now that I think about it, Mr. Moulitsas is much more Bill Murray in Meatballs, but without the funny)

UPDATE: HELLO, Instapundit readers, thanks for dropping by. Don't forget to peruse some of my other musings (especially the Proposals conveniently linked to on the right hand side bar).

Prof. Reynolds was good enough to link my modest thoughts on the subject, and all I have to say is, "I'm not worthy, I'm not worthy"

(It's SNL/2nd City Related Film Comedies Reference Day, evidently, if only Stuart had said something interesting lately . . .)

(There's always The Ladies Man, would I be starting trouble if I linked that film to Mr. Moulitsas? Or maybe I should bite the hand that feeds me all these fresh eyeballs and mention that movie in reference to the Instapundit and his still far too hot for him wife.)

22 June 2006

And Violent Video Games Are ALSO Good for America for Much the Same Reason

Couldn't have said it better myself.

NBA Blogeration, Miami Heat Edition

Congrats to the Miami Heat. You earned a first for the franchise championship.

But you still suck.

If you want to stay competitve past 2006-7 get rid of all the high priced veterans now, including Shaq.

Mr. Riley, call up Mr. Baylor, he might let you have Chris Kaman cheap, if Shaq is willing to be a role player (like he was during the finals) and accept a deep pay cut. Any good passing center who can play defense would look like an all-star next to "Flash", so send Shaq back to LA (though this time as a Clipper) and go from Flash and Superman to Flash and Superugly, it would be a smart move.

If you don't get some good talent now while some of your vets have value, you can look forward to being the Knicks or the Bulls, and noone wants that.

21 June 2006

Summer Solstice Blogging

Worship the Sun, at least today (though with plenty of high SPF sunscreen).

Assuming you are in the Northern Hemisphere (all you Southern Hemisphere types, do whatever it is you do to worship the longest night), that is.

Me, I'm Worshipping the Haze. Long Live June Gloom!

Here's a little blurb about Santa Monican weather from Tripadvisor.com
That being said, surprisingly June is not the best month for beach-goers. The "June Gloom" phenomenon hits beach areas during the month and visitors can expect hazy, overcast days. The temperatures are still fine, but if you're planning on soaking up the sun and turning a golden brown, skip June and come later in the summer.

Apparently, the Sun knows it has a long day ahead of it (the longest above the equator), so it's taking it easy and hiding behind the usual June low cloud layer that hangs over Santa Monica most every June and into early July.

Also, I'm done not not blogging for awhile, I plan (though I don't promise) to post at least once a day until the next solstice, so expect lots of rambling, digressions, short links, and other nonsense.

This Isn't A Joke, Really

What do you get when you combine . . .

A Beatle

A Zombie

A Vampire

An Average White Man

A Chronic Mastrubator (aka 'The Strokeman')

A Percussion Princess, and Music Minister

And Richard Marx (no link, no way would I link to anything related to this blackhole of suckitude)????

Why this of course (just saw them on Leno, I'm puzzled to say the least, and judging from the tour dates, I think someone must like gambling, cause half the dates seem to be casinos)

15 June 2006

Looking For Something To DO?

This post is directed at a single person, everyone else, you can choose to ignore what follows if you wish.

Mr. Gates (or Bill, may I call you Bill?), seems you are going to extricate yourself from the daily operation of Microsoft. Good for you! Of course you have your philanthropy (Should I find it ironic that when I click over to www.gatesfoundation.org, I keep getting an error message? Bill, first order of business when you retire, fix your damn website!) and children to keep you busy, but I think maybe you'll be feeling the itch for other outlets as well.

I'm just posting this out there in the internet to let you know, I'd be happy to have you co-blog at my little website. I've been resisting turning this into a group blog, but I think you might have some interesting insights you could share with my dozens of readers, and I'd happily share this modest forum with you (plus, nobody reads any MS based blogs, so you'd do better to blog at a blogger, myspace, journalspace or typepad blog anyway).

Just a thought, putting it out there, think about it, don't hurry, and if you decide to invest a small amount of funds in this blog along with your time, well, I won't object to that, either.

Great Moments In Other Blogs' Comment Sections (Yet Another Example)

A comment left in the comments for this post from Gizmodo.

This is a good thing. I think poor folk would like rich folk better if they acted more James Bond villian-ian, buying houses with underground caves and submarines, and less Paris Hilton-ian - buying larger versions of regular stuff with diamonds glued to it.

anyways, half-baked attempts at taking over the world are cute - a tiny dog stuffed in a tiny purse is not.

a large dog stuffed into a tiny purse might be.

by drewheyman on 06/14/06 05:28 PM

All I can add is, what he said (especially the large dog in a tiny purse bit, I'd love to see some Hiltonesque type person pull that one off)

(and if I could spare the funds, yes, I'd probably buy one of those ships, and build an underwater lair for plotting nefarious nogoodness, too)

Poetry In Motion

That's a hackneyed phrase, but if ever a player earned that description it was Lynn Swann.

Why bring this up?

Well, judging from this RedState post, you might say that his reform plan for Pennsylvania politics is equally poetic.

It's a blueprint for simple reforms that could effect profoundly the culture of governance in that state, and other states should it prove to be effective (and I suspect that it would prove to be very effective).

President Swann in 2016 sounds pretty good to me (assuming he becomes Governor and acquits himself well for two terms, I think he'd be a strong prospect for President by then).

Get ready for the first former Trojan president.

14 June 2006


Amnesty, It's not just for USA, anymore.

13 June 2006

Scary Sequel Suggestions

Nacho Libre opens this week.

I've already got the perfect sequel.

Nacho v. Koriki!!!

(Koriki's the big guy in the middle of this video, watch and be disturbed)

Possible plotline:

Nacho must challenge Japanese Wrestler Koriki to both a 'wrestle-off' and a 'dance -off' for the honor of all Mexico. Half the movie could be his attempt to assemble his teenage dance team to help him beat Koriki and Hinoi Team in the 'dance-off' (what could be better, comic wrestlers + 'bring it on' style sassiness = comedy gold).

[hat tip KOTAKU, you bastards!!]

12 June 2006

It Depends on What Your Definition of Proselytizing Is

AS Reader I Am pointed out over at Done With Mirrors, The MPAA has decided that too strong of proselytization from a film should render that film worthy of Parental Guidance.

I have no problem with that, but maybe they should strive to be a little more consistent.

Other recent G rated films that could be accused of proselytization:

CARS: Indoctrinating children into the belief system where Route 66 and small towns are good, sleek highways and big cities, not so much. Also it would seem that NYT lead reviewer Manohla Dargis was very disturbed by the pro-fossil fuels stance of this film. Clearly this film should be PG for depictions of dangerous levels of carbon emmissions.

DOOGAL: Come on, Jon Stewart, Chevy Chase and Whoopi Goldberg lend their voices to this film, you know there must be some anti-Republican indoctrination going on in this film (and no, I haven't seen it).

BRATZ: Come on, MPAA, you are telling me that a film that features prostitutes turned children's toys shouldn't come with a strict and strong warning for parents?!? This should have been R rated, not G.

HERBIE FULLY LOADED: More gratuitous consumption of precious resources. When will Hollywood take the ongoing Global Warming Crisis seriously?

CURIOUS GEORGE: Yet another attempt to normalize and glamorize cross-species adoption. This film presents a challenge to any parent who lets there child see this film, and unless they slap a PG rating on this film the MPAA is tacitly condoning all sorts of other invidious and subversive interspecial activities.

The MPAA has a job to do, they are parents themselves (a requirement to sit on the ratings board), they should know that there are forces and ideas even more insidious than religion at work trying to sway the minds of our youngsters, and parents need the guidance provided by the label PG or PG-13, or R so that they may know just how dangerous the ideas and images presented in some films are towards their progeny.

Meet the New Messiah

Jesus only had about a dozen apostles.

Former Vice President Albert Gore has many, many, more.

(therefore he's at least 80 times the messiah that Jesus was)

(even his BEARD had its own church, that's some mighty potent messiahness if you ask me)

He already saved South Park from manbearpig, now he's going to save the entire planet.

Bow before your new savior.


"There’s a fine line between bombing and marketing."

Yes, a bomb only kills flesh, while marketing kills souls.

For the rest, follow this link to Dilbert.blog.

09 June 2006

If They Really, Really Want to Help Africa . . .

. . . they'd copulate.

I'm talking about Jolie-Pitt of course. Recently they sold the exclusive rights (hat tip, Tammy Bruce) for the first Shiloh Nouvel Jolie-Pitt baby pics for a large mound of money, all proceeds going to African aid.

Well, if a simple baby picture garners millions, think of what a well produced, expertly videographed, carefully staged and lit video of something they hopefully do together on a regular basis would gross.

A Brad Pitt with Angelina Jolie sex video would do phenomenal business.

It could be the first properly produced 'celebrity' porn video featuring real celebrities produced in a proper fashion rather than in grainy hand held night vision.

If they really, really want to help Africa and raise hundreds of millions of dollars, they'll record for prosperity the sort of loving act that lead to the birth of the miracle child with the four names.

(oh boy, now people googling for 'brad pitt angelina jolie sex video' will get directed to this site, HELLO celebrity obsessed horndogs!)

Somebody Gets It

Now that's a proper Modest Proposal.

(glad someone else uses the term correctly)

(also, I concur)

07 June 2006

Has Your Heart Grown Fonder?

Regarding this blog, of course, absence is supposed to do that, afterall.

To answer Reader I Am's query, no vacation, just family stuff, personal stuff, and cable company stuff, now either resolved or moving in a positive direction, so back to sharing thoughts and such.

The alternate post to this one was going to be an explanation that as a practicing Satanist, I was waaaaay too busy to post with the run-up to the big day (06 June 2006) and all, but I'm not fond of goat's blood, or naked covens in forests, so no Satanism for me.

Wish I had thought of the Monkey Chow gimmick first, though, brilliant, that (hat tip Instapundit).