So, Rob Zombie, Malcolm McDowell, and Weird Al Yankovic Walk Into a Bar . . .

. . . and then the bartender said, "I don't even own a duck!"

(sorry, you'll just have to imagine the rest)

(but you won't have to imagine those three posing for the same picture, cause it's right here from Weird Al's twitpic fed)

Now even Weird Al is tweeting, this is getting out of hand.

Women Whose Blogs at Which I Should Comment More Vigorously (and Flirtatiously) . . .

. . . so, over the weekend, Prof. Althouse made it official and revealed some details about her recent betrothment to a fine gentleman (by the handle of Meade) she met in part because he was an avid commenter on her blog.

So, as a single man, maybe I should explore this avenue of bliss more heartily, if it worked once, why shouldn't it work again?

I know inconstancy is a big turn off for women, so if I wanted this to be effective, I should probably limit this list to one name, but in fairness to all the wonderful and attractive women who blog, I'm not capable as of yet to limit my affections (a touch of reciprocity would go a long way into focusing my attentions, and intentions).

So here's a list in no particular order, with reasons for, and against, of bloggers whom I might pitch woo.

Moxie
Conservative, check, gorgeous, check, creative, check, smart, check, drives a Porsche, big fat check, lots of positives going for her, she could post a bit more often, but I'm sure she's doing other things, so it's understandable. Now some reasons why I might hesitate, blonde, sorry, I just don't find blondes aesthetically pleasing for the most part, it's a peculiarity of mine, for the right woman I could look past it, and celibacy, now that isn't necessarily a drawback, it would mean that any relationship would move forward strictly based on intellect and emotions with the physical stuff limited until we are both ready for a serious commitment, I'd like to say that's a positive, but the horndog in me used to relationships proceeding physically fairly quickly would probably get frustrated.

Tammy Bruce
Conservative, check, gorgeous, check, creative, check, smart, check, loves animals, big fat check, lots of positives going for her, and really just one minor negative. OK, so that one negative is more a problem regarding me, being non-distaffed and all, and unfortunately that's not something one can overlook easily. I guess it's true, all the good ones are taken, or gay.

Felicia Day
Gorgeous, check, creative, check, smart, check, loves D&D, big fat check (I've never played myself, but I'd be willing with the right group of geeks), lots of positives going for her, and really just one big negative, that she's probably a big fat liberal. Having dated people in or interested in 'the business' in the past, I'm not sure it's something I want to repeat. It's tough on people's psyche and all the crap they deal with tends to come home with them, I would imagine it would be even harder on a woman just shy of 30 who enjoys a strange mix of big success in one market segment and near anonymity with the mainstream. I'd be shocked if she's not ever so slightly neurotic, but I'd probably enjoy being a stabilizing rock with which she could anchor herself to the real world (and those pics with her and firearms, as Conan would say, rowwwwwwrrrrrrrrrr!!!)

Kat Dennings
Gorgeous, check, creative, check, smart, check, endearingly quirky, big fat check, lots of positives going for her, and one huge almost deal breaking negative, she's way too damn young for me to even consider thinking about in a romantic manner. Normally, I'd consider any woman under the age of 25 a big huge fat no-no, but there's just something so interesting about her that I'd be willing to risk corrupting her and negatively influencing her development as a person (most of these flings between guys pushing, or past 40 and girls barely past 21 do harm to both parties). It's those damn YouTube videos she used to make, she comes across as so charming that I'm willing to throw my scruples out the window. (I have to admit it, it's also her big huge . . . ., eyes that stir my passions)

Heather of Go Fug Yourself
Gorgeous, unknown, creative, check, smart, check, endearingly snarky and completely obsessed with pop culture, big fat check, lots of positives going for her, as to the negative, she may not actually look like Joan Collins circa 1982. Seems like being around her might bring my inner Blackwell to the fore, which probably wouldn't be that sexy and could be really confusing sexually for both of us. Can a straight man snark on fashion and be sexually enticing simultaneously? It would be an interesting experiment. I think Heather's writing style is slightly better than Jessica's, but if it turned out that I was more compatible with Jessica rather than Heather, I'd have to attempt the very tricky blogging version of the infamous "Roommate Switch". Better men than I have lost limbs trying that maneuver.


Better start working on those commenting/flirting skills, before others beat me to the punch, and to all the bloggers out there I didn't list, it's not you, it's me, really.

The Badass MF Awards (First in an Irregular Series)

So, John Hawkins of Right Wing News tweeted this:

"The great danger to the consumer is the monopoly -- whether private or governmental. His most effective protection is free competition." MF

I readily deduced that the MF in question had to be the inestimable Milton Friedman. So in response I tweeted the following (which Ed Driscoll kindly retweeted, thanks Ed)

MF=Milton Friedman, of course, I think he should always be referred to as Badass Milton Friedman (or Badass Mofo, for short)

If any economist ever earned the title Badass, it certainly must be Milton Friedman, and that'd be the case even if his initials weren't MF.

Surely there are other MFs that deserve to always be referred to as the Badass MF, so here at Immodest Proposals it's time to bestow the Badass MF Award to the baddest assest MFs in a variety of categories. Some are transcendently badass, others may have earned their badassness somewhat by default, but all are, in one way or another, Badass MFs. To inaugurate this honor, I'm going the presidential route.

U.S. Presidents
And the nominees for Badass MFs amongst current and former Presidents are:

George Washington for being our first, and a man who followed Cincinattus' example when he could have easily gone the despot route.

Abraham Lincoln for correcting a horrible wrong, waging a horrible but just war, and preserving the Union against great odds.

Calvin Coolidge for saying more with his silences than most Presidents do with all their yapping.

Millard Filmore for actually having the initials MF (and for not much else)

Ronald Reagan for being a force of nature, reshaping an entire generation of American politics and righting the wrongs of his immediate predecessor.

And the winner is, George Washington, sorry Millard, you may be the only MF, but you aren't the baddest of the badass MF Presidents, that'd be our first President, hands down, no real contest.

Meh, The President Speaks, and Speaks, and Speaks, and It's Not HIS Fault!!!!

Live Press Conference blogged lively...

Since when do press conferences begin with 8 minutes of teleprompter copy?

First thing he says, "Not my fault, it was like that when I got here".

Don't think I can blog too much of the blather, unlikely that he says anything interesting as long as he's reading from his trusty prompter.

To paraphrase, individuals borrowing and spending money they don't have has ruined our economy, but to fix that, the government must borrow massively more in the aggregate than all those individuals did on their own.

Gah!

To paraphrase, don't blame me, and yeah, those bonuses were soooooo awful, we need to de-capitalize capitalism. Only the government can dole out capital, free markets can't do it on their own. But, I guess we need entrepreneurs, or else there will be nobody to tax, so let me say that we shouldn't demonize them, even though that seems to be all I ever do.

Jennifer Loven AP, first up.
Regulation, you want it, why will it be better this time?
Obama: no, no, no, it was under-regulation that caused this mess, AIG wasn't under the FDIC, so that's why we need to create all sorts of new red tape to counter future risk taking. We need to centralize everything, cause DC knows better about everything, and central planning always works well. Quick follow up, 'why should we trust DC', Obama" 'because I said so'.

Chuck Todd (NBC), next
Wars require sacrifice, this is a war, what sacrifices must we make?
Umm, ahh, uummmm, ahhhhh, I'm stalling, I've asked for sacrifices, it's just all that awful stuff that existed before I can to office, that was the problem, in other words, I'm going to ignore your question, but ummm, ahhh, voters are already sacrificing, and if I say what I'm going to do to them over the next 3.5 years, they may not re-elect me, so I'm just going to pretend that everything is the GOP's fault and say that if you trust me, and elect even more DEMs in 2010, then everything will be hunky dory. Chuck Todd follow up, 'You said this was huge, how could you not ask for sacrifice', Obama: 'Did I say that?', nevermind, everything will be fine as long as you trust me.

Jake Tapper (ABC), next
Senate Dems, no middle class tax cut, no cap and trade, what's up with that?
Ummm, ahhh, ummmm, ahhh, we need health care reform, we gotta have energy policy, we gotta have even more federal spending on education, we gotta fix the deficit, we know things may change through the legislative process, and we already got the middle class their tax cut, so don't worry about that, and cap and trade is part of a 'broader principle' so don't worry about that. I still believe in cap and trade, even though it has been a costly, bureaucratic nightmare when tried in Europe, but we'll do it better somehow. Jack Tapper follow up, will you sign it if it doesn't meet your priorities? Obama: Ehh, whatever.

Chip Reid (CBS), next
Generational Theft, close to $10T in new debt over 10 years, what's up with that?
The GOP are evil, and they did it first, so nevermind. We'll cut the deficit in half over five years, those ten year projections are wrong, growth will be higher than the CBO predicts, despite all my attempts to strangle the economy somehow growth will remain robust cause of all the magic fairy dust I'll be spreading around the country. With all the added magic fairy dust I'll be spreading around like so much manure the flowers of prosperity will bloom. And my critics won't release their own budgets so they have no standing to criticize, did I mention health care? Yeah, health care, yeah, I'll really FIX health care, and while I'm at it I'll dismantle our military to balance the budget. Follow up, what's with the out years if you are really cutting? Obama: Don't look behind the curtain!!! Pay no attention to that, those savings are going to happen once I spread the magic fairy dust, magic fairy dust will fix everything.

(the question to answer ratio remains as lopsided as the last dog and pony show, and the questions asked aren't the ones he actually answers, does he really think folks aren't going to notice this?)

Lourdes (her news outlet wasn't captioned, didn't catch it)
Mexico, sucks don't it? Does it threaten US security?
We're dealing with it, and we'll do more if we need to, and it's US guns that are the problem so we need more gun control (though that statement is ridiculous on the face of it).

Kevin (Stars and Stripes)
What can you cut from the military budget without political blowback?
We're giving more money to veterans, and we'll take care of their PTSD having asses (cause all troops come back 'wrong'), we'll save money by reforming the procurement system. (??? - That's going to save hundreds of billions?) Obama wants to say he'll gut the military, he just can't admit it, yet, instead he'll pretend that 'reform' will lead to savings. No more off the book war expenditures, that'll help, too.

Ed Henry (CNN)
Andy Cuomo's done more to hit AIG than you did, what's up with that, and aren't you leaving a bigger mess to the future than what was left you?
This isn't easy, it's hard, it's really, really hard. My solution, reduce health care costs by nationalizing health care?!?!!!???!!!????? (the particulars are all a smokescreen, he wants one payer health care like our betters in Canada and Europe, which really means he wants rationed care, which is what they get). He's not answering the question again, just claiming that outrageous amounts of government spending will lead to outrageous growth rates and everything will be just fine. Are folks really falling for this fairy tale? Follow up, you weren't angry enough about AIG? I took time cause I like to know of what I speak.

Major Garrett (FNC)
China wants an IMF currency, Europe doesn't want stimulus spending, given that you want to be a 'global' president, are you hurt by the criticisms?
We all need to row in the same direction, at the G-20 we will work on job creation collectively, avoid protectionism, and create even more red tape, cause red tape=prosperity. The dollar is strong, and we're still number one. As far as changing our image, but the world loves me more than they love Bush. Follow up, global currency? No.

Mike Allen (The Politico)
Right to cut deductions for charities and mortgages?
Yes, we need to make sacrifices cause of wage stagnation, the top 5% are going to feel some pain, but they'll enjoy it and they won't go John Galt on us so everything will be fine. This won't decimate charities, I swear, you shouldn't worry about deductions when giving to charity, so screw you rich folks! They can afford it, so bend over and take it. Follow up, charities claim this will be horrible. Obama: No, it won't be a problem, grow the economy, and charities will get paid.

Kevin Chapelle (Ebony)
1 in 50 children homeless, what are you going to do for homeless children?
That's terrible, my recovery package will solve everything, and we'll extend the safety net, and we'll throw money at the states to prevent families from being homeless.

Ann Compton (ABC Radio)
Let's talk race, are you still black enough?
The economy knows no color, the inaugural was great, but y'all are still kinda racist, but the economy is more important than reminding all of you how racist you still are.

Jon Ward (Wash Times)
Stem cells, moral, immoral, consider it at all personally?
I'm going to pretend I care about embryos, I barely think babies are people so you think I think twice about putting embryos in a blender? I'll just pretend to be thoughtful on this issue and spout platitudes. He's sure taking a long time not to answer this question, isn't he?

(I'm really tempted to switch to the Lakers game, this crap is boring, even though the Lakers are only playing the lowly Thunder, still better than this crap, I'm guessing the next question will be the last question, so I'll stick it out)

Last question, Stephen Collison (AFP)
Palestine-Israel, sucks don't it, and Netanyahu is evil?
It's going to be tough, and the status quo is unsustainable, there must be two states with peace and security. Mr. Sally Jesse Raphael glasses (aka George Mitchell) will help with bringing the sides together. We had the Orange and the Green together here on St. Pats, so we'll get the Israelis and Palestinians together, too. Persistence is what I'm all about, if at first you don't succeed, blame previous administrations for your failures, and fail, fail again.

He's still talking, but he ain't saying nothing. As usual, he's highlighting that ridiculous video to Iran, it's an example of his wonderful persistence, he's saying don't expect results, just listen to my rhetoric, as long as I talk a good game, you shouldn't pay attention to a lack of results, cause results require real plans, real change, and all I've got is talking and a perpetual campaign to run.

UPDATE:

President Obama went without his trusty prompter, instead relying on a really big TV in the back of the room, seen in the above YouTube clip from Fox News (via Drudge).

What do you suppose his reaction would have been had a bunch of reporters chosen to stand up in front of the display just after he started speaking? Would he have harrumphed, or would he have called over the Secret Service?

(also, what's the carbon footprint on that thing, did he pay his offsets?)

(finally, give a speech, or hold a press conference, don't do both)

A Modest Proposal on Achieving a Greener More Sustainable Great Britain

JONATHON PORRITT, one of Gordon Brown’s leading green advisers, is to warn that Britain must drastically reduce its population if it is to build a sustainable society.

Mr. Porritt is right, there are too many people in the United Kingdom, and the only way to create a sustainable future for the United Kingdom will be to halve the population. There are many possible methods for halving the population, one might be to prohibit all and any medical treatments to persons over the age of 55. That would have two benefits, one it would quickly shrink the number of pensioners, and two, would greatly reduce the costs of the NHS. But, that would only be a partial solution as even without medical care many people over that age might linger on for decades, plus that part of the population are, for the most part, not breeding and creating the next crop of Brits. Another might be duomation a la the old Roman tradition (decimation was a form of military punishment, where 1 in 10 were killed by their cohorts, duo-mation would be slightly more drastic, but given the grave peril our planet is in, a necessary sacrifice), folks chosen at random lot, with even the royal family subject to the whims of a random number generator. But again, even after culling the population down from 60 million to 30 million, people would begin breeding away, and before long the population would grow and grow.

No, those processes might solve the problem in the short run, but they don't offer a long term fix. Here's my modest proposal on both immediately halving the population of Britain in the short term, and at the same time solving the problem of continued population growth in the long term. It's a simple solution, expel all males from the island. Anyone caught with a tallywhacker will be summarily vacated from Albion. Obviously, Northern Ireland poses some problem, given that it shares a border with Ireland, and men knowing that an entire population of women were bereft of male companionship might be tempted to sneak in if only for the sport of it. So possibly sell Northern Ireland to the highest bidder, and leave them to their own devices, then the task of patrolling the waters of Scotland, England and Wales and keeping walking tadpole factories off the shores of pristine virginal Albion would be far easier. With all the men gone from Albion, henceforth renamed Boudica in honor of one of its earliest known warrior queens, your two main problems with sustaining a green and good island would be solved.

As Boudicans adjusted to not having any men in their society, there might be minor upheavals, but the greater good would prevail and within a surprisingly short amount of time, their society would normalize. Men would be allowed to visit, but only if they were to submit to exams to prove that they have had a vasectomy, or were otherwise infertile, and never for more than a month at a time, or for more than two months in a calendar year. The citizens of Boudica would still create families, but instead of the willy nilly and capricious nature of biological reproduction that plagues our planet, Boudicans would instead have the serene and orderly process of matching prospective mothers with just the right sperm donor from special reserves of genetic material culled from only the finest men the globe has to offer. Births would be allowed in numbers just sufficient to account for the anticipated number of deaths that year, and of the women desiring to be parents, and physically capable of breeding, a lottery would be held to pick which women for that year would be allowed to attempt to breed. Special care would be given to only have female babies born, as any male children would have to be evicted from the island before they reach sexual maturity. While the particulars of how to best express sexuality in a nation without opposite sexes would be up to each individual Boudican, there would be certain accommodations made for those women who miss physical intimacies with males of the species. Boudicans would be allowed to go on holiday, just as before, with the one minor change that any pre-menopausal woman wishing to travel would be required to take oral contraceptive while travelling abroad, and be subject to a medical exam upon return, and should they be found full with child, submit to an immediate termination of their previously unapproved pregnancy. For women not interested in travelling (but still wanting for temporary male companionship), special clubs would be set up where male prostitutes, all of whom must have had a vasectomy, as well as use condoms during each sex act, would be made available for use by Boudicans at a nominal fee generously subsidized by the government. These men would only be allowed temporary terms within these 'workhouses', and would be rotated in and out on a regular basis so that clients wouldn't become too attached to any of the workers. In Boudica forming emotional attachments to a member of the opposite sex would soon be seen as a perversion of the grossest and most dangerous kind.

While this future Boudica might sound like the notion of someone writing a bit of Speculative Fiction, it's all well within the reach of modern science, and with the future of the very planet hanging in the balance, these sort of drastic measures will be required by citizens around the globe if we are to forestall the deleterious effects of our modern market economy on the fragile ecosystem Mother Gaia provides. Island nations serve as the perfect laboratories for incubating the sort of social change that would transform our planet and our relationship to it as a species. If not Boudica, then Japan, or even Australia might make excellent testing grounds for the sort of changes required to save this planet. People in the 'first world' are the worst for the planet, something must be done to keep them from living the sort of comfortable and productive lives modern technology provides. Maybe the example Boudica sets, and the success it is sure to have once all the men are removed, might start a wave of changes that will create sustainable systems throughout the globe, but somebody has to be first, and some sort of sacrifice must be made, might as well be the elimination of all the men in a particular society, in the name of Gaia, the most bountiful, it must be done.

Leave My Childhood Alone, You BASTARDS!!!

First, Star Wars was rogered, then Indy was diddled, but this time they've gone too far, they've molested Schoolhouse Rock!.

(at least Spielberg and Lucas had nothing to do with this, but I smell the grubby fingers of a certain former Vice President all over this one)

(and I ain't talkin' 'bout Dick)

(though, the VP I'm talking about is a major league DICK, just his name isn't Richard)

[ ] - Ology, Episode VI, Detroit Rock City

All those other posts were the prelims, here's the Final Four plus Championship Game. I've already hinted how I think this will turn out, but best to have it in a separate post, anyway, I'll use this to recap each bracket, as well.

In the West, #5 Purdue advances, and the Sweet 16 featured a 1-5 and a 7-11 match up. (how's that for bold prognosticating?)

In the South, #4 Gonzaga advances, and the Sweet 16 was a more formful 1-4 and 2-6.

In the East, #6 UCLA advances, and the surprising Sweet 16 was a 4-9 and 6-7.

In the Midwest #1 Louisville overpowers all comers, and the Sweet 16 was a 1-4 and 3-10.

Now, on to the picks

#1 Louisville over #5 Purdue
Purdue's stifling defense fails to stifle Louisville's explosive offense. Louisville is playing well at the right time, and they are the best bets out of the top seeds to make the Championship Game.

#4 Gonzaga over #6 UCLA
These teams ought to put on a good show against each other, but Gonzaga should be able to play their way past a decent UCLA team.

The Championship

#4 Gonzaga over #1 Louisville
Louisville is playing great ball, but Gonzaga will overcome that any way. It's going to come down to execution on offense, making free throws, and which team stays calmer as the other team makes their run. Gonzaga will be a pretty big surprise and win it all. John Stockton (Class of '83) might even show a modicum of emotion.

[ ] - Ology, Episode V, The Midwest Regional

Final region, other than USC making a surprise run, pretty formful.

First Round

16 Morehead St over 1 Louisville
Ahhh, just seeing if you were paying attention, of cours it's Louisville, sorry Morehead fans if I got your hopes up.

2 Michigan St over 15 Robert Morris
Who knew a talent agency had a basketball team? (oh, that's William Morris, get my Morrises mixed up).

3 Kansas over 14 North Dakota St
I think it's safe to say that North Dakota St will not become the first team from North Dakota to advance to the Final Four. I know I'm going out on a limb with this prediction, but that's the sort of bold leadership you've come to expect from this blog.

4 Wake Forest over 13 Cleveland St
Yawn.

5 Utah over 12 Arizona
Arizona should not be in the tourney, and they'll prove it by getting blown out by Utah

6 West Virginia over 11 Dayton
Yawn, II.

10 USC over 7 Boston College
In my opinion, the most interesting match up of the first round. USC has been playing very well of late, and I think they'll continue that play through a few rounds of this tourney.

9 Siena over 8 Ohio St
Another 8-9 coin flip of little consequence given that the 'winner' gets to be demolished by Louisville.

Second Round

1 Louisville ove 9 Siena
I think Louisville will be the only #1 that will look like a #1 throughout the tournament. A blow out here.

10 USC over 2 Michigan St
A big upset, Michigan St is ripe for an upset, talented and well coached, they're just unlucky to run into a wildly inconsistent but even more talented team just as they're putting things together.

3 Kansas over 6 West Virginia
Another solid victory for another solid Kansas team.

4 Wake Forest over 5 Utah
Another solid victory for another solid Wake Forest team.

Sweet 16, Elite 8, Regional Champs

1 Louisville over 4 Wake Forest
Louisville just has too much firepower, Wake Forest will play well, but not well enough.

10 USC over 3 Kansas
If they can beat Michigan St they can beat Kansas. Trojans keep on rolling.

1 Louisville over 10 USC
The Trojans' run ends. They'll get unrolled, used, and then discarded like a, well, um, brand name latex prophylactic.

Louisville will be the only 1, 2 or 3 seed in this tourney to escape the upset bug and see its way to the Final Four in Detroit. I blame Pitino's hair, it's glorious.

[ ] - Ology, Episode IV, The East Regional

I expect the first round here to be pretty formful (other than the 5-12 matchup), but then all hell breaks loose and it's upset city.

First Round

1 Pittsburgh 16 E Tenn St
1 v 16, 'nuff said.

2 Duke over 15 Binghamton
I'm almost tempted to pick Binghamton just to please Tony Kornheiser, but I'm not crazy, Duke in a romp.

3 Villanova over 14 American
'Nova shouldn't have any problems here.

4 Xavier over 13 Portland St
Another romp, Xavier looks like Elite Eight material.

12 Wisconsin over 5 Florida St
A plodding and boring game, Wisconsin will drag this game down to their level, and win it when the 'Noles keep turning the ball over.

6 UCLA over 11 VCU
Despite a hiccup versus USC in the Pac10 tourney, UCLA are deep, experienced or talented (their most talented players are inexperienced explains the 'or' there), plus having a Senior point guard who has been to three Final Fours ought to give them a huge advantage in seeking to make it four in a row.

7 Texas over 10 Minnesota
Texas are a talented and inconsistent bunch, who knows what they'll do, they could lose this game, or make it to the Sweet 16, I'm guessing they'll be Sweet.

9 Tennessee over 8 Oklahoma St
I think Tennessee has enough talent to be a surprising team, or they could flame out, another talented but inconsistent team, that's why their seeded in the middle of the pack.

Second Round

9 Tennessee over 1 Pittsburgh
Here's where it gets interesting. Tennessee will pull off this upset. They've got a size advantage over Pitt in every position, and they'll use it to their advantage.

7 Texas over 2 Duke
Another big upset, I just have a feeling these inconsistent teams with talent will pull together and put together a run. An early exit for Duke, which will be good cause they suck (how's that for in depth analysis?)

6 UCLA over 3 Villanova
Another upset, though not a big one, 'Nova's a solid squad, but these Howland era Bruins teams just have a knack for putting together their best ball at tourney time, don't expect 2009 to be different.

4 Xavier over 12 Wisconsin
Xavier is the only lower seed I have advancing in the 2nd round in this region. They'll figure out Wisconsin's defense and just overwhelm them with their athleticism.

Sweet 16, Elite 8, Regional Champs

4 Xavier over 9 Tennessee
These are similar teams, but the inconsistency that plagued the Vols all season will happen again after they have a letdown following a big upset over a #1 seed.

6 UCLA over 7 Texas
Should be a solid game, it will take the Bruins best to get past a Texas team that will play well, too. UCLA at their best is one of the best teams this year, and they'll prove it on the court.

6 UCLA over 4 Xavier
In a bit of a surprising match up the Bruins will take on the Musketeers. I expect a mauling, UCLA's superior experience and coaching will overcome Xavier's athleticism.

Look for UCLA to make it 3 Final Four losses in a row. That's both a fantastic accomplishment, and pretty frustrating. So close, yet so far (if Westbrook and Mbah a Moute had stayed, they'd be looking at a sure thing this season).

[ ] - Ology, Episode III, The South Regional

It's the Dirrrty South's turn to be placed under the microscope, I expect a few 1st round upsets here, with the 14th and 12th seeds playing on the weekend (but not beyond). UNC looks beatable, and I think they'll be beaten, which leaves a surprising Gonzaga team poised to make a huge run all the way to the top (and not just of the region).

First Round

1 UNC over 16 Radford
1 v 16, no surprises, just an ass whoopin'.

2 Oklahoma over 15 Morgan St
Oklahoma has at times looked like the best team in college hoops, they'll have no problem in the first or 2nd rounds.

14 Stephen F Austin over 3 Syracuse
Some might think the crazy amount of basketball Syracuse played this past week will pump them up and prepare them for the tournament, I think they'll be completely drained and unable to compete against a decent team from a little school in Texas.

4 Gonzaga over 13 Akron
The Bulldogs got a run in them, here's where it starts.

12 Western Kentucky over 5 Illinois
Illinois would be one of those overrated Big 10 teams, Western Kentucky will run them out of the building and when with surprising ease.

6 Arizona St over 11 Temple
The Sun Devils made the Pac10 tournament finals (losing to USC), and are playing well at the right time, they are set up to do very well in this tournament.

7 Clemson over 10 Michigan
I just don't care, whatever, Clemson should win, but that'll be the end of their fun when they run into OK.

9 Butler over 8 LSU
Another match up that doesn't really matter given that the winner gets to get demolished by UNC over the weekend.

2nd Round

1 UNC over 9 Butler
UNC will play like the number one seed in this game.

2 Oklahoma over 7 Clemson
Oklahoma should have no trouble against Clemson, it helps having one of the best players in the NCAA.

6 Arizona St over 14 S F Austin
They're the Lumberjacks, but they won't be OK in this game, the Sun Devils will chop them down to size.

4 Gonzaga over 14 Western Kentucky
Gonzaga is going to put together something special this tournament, sometimes teams put together everything just at the right time, and this is that team, and this is their time (despite an embarrasing loss to Memphis, this team has lots of talent, a solid system, and good coaching).

Sweet 16, Elite 8, Regional Champs

4 Gonzaga over 1 UNC
The Bulldogs match up well against a deep and talented Tar Heels team, Gonzaga will play better than they usually do on defense, and force UNC into too many turnovers. Should be an exciting match up, whichever way it goes.

6 Arizona St over 2 Oklahoma
The Sun Devils will figure out a way to stop Blake Griffin, and with that accomplished, Oklahoma won't have an answer, an upset, but only a mild one.

4 Gonzaga over 6 Arizona St
Gonzaga will do enough on both sides of the ball to control this game. Gonzaga will be tested, but they'll win in the end.

Regional Champs Gonzaga, and after having to go through UNC and Arizona St, they should be prepared for the other challenges they'll face on the road to their schools' first ever NCAA Championship.

[ ] - Ology, Episode II, The West Regional

In the West Regional, I think you are going to see a good amount of upsets (other than the first round), Connecticut doesn't look that good to me, Memphis and Missouri look ripe for upsets as well.

Round 1
1 Conn over 16 UT-Chatt
I'm not crazy enough to pick any 16 seeds, not ever going to happen.

2 Memphis over 15 CS Northridge
I'm almost tempted to go with the Matadors, but that's not going to happen, either. Too huge of a difference in the athleticism between these two.

3 Missouri over 14 Cornell
Have fun while it lasts, Missouri, cause this is your last victory of the season.

4 Washington over 13 Mississippi St.
The Huskies looked great at times this season, but other times, not so much, they should be able to put away Miss St. no problem.

5 Purdue over 12 Northern Iowa
Purdue are the best of a crappy lot of Big 10 teams, but their very physical, slow it down ball, will frustrate the teams they face, and I see them advancing all the way to the Final Four.

11 Utah St over 6 Marquette
I've got no sane reason for this pick, other than I don't see an entire region's favorites advancing in the first round, just not going to happen, so here's my 1st round upset for the West. Also, as happens on teams from Utah, they've got a lot of older players due to players who sat out a few years to do missionary work, and that maturity will be a big advantage in the tournament.

7 California over 10 Maryland
These teams are pretty evenly matched, may come down to preparation and coaching, and I think Cal will be better in both areas.

8 BYU over 9 Texas A&M
Coin flip time, the coin came up Cougars.


2nd Round
1 Conn over 8 BYU
I don't think U Conn is that great, but they're good enough to get past BYU.

7 California over 2 Memphis
Cal's got some talent on their team (though Memphis has more), I think their experience, and playing in a tougher conference will be the edge that leads them to beat out Memphis' athleticism and depth, but they'll have to shoot lights out from distance to pull off this upset, and I think they will.

11 Utah St over 3 Missouri
Missouri's will be ready for a letdown and will probably overlook little Utah St. I have them as the worst seed to make it to the Sweet 16.

5 Purdue over 4 Washington
Washington matches up well against Purdue, it's a high octane offense versus a brutal defense. The brutal defense usually wins in these contests, it will this time, too.

Sweet 16, Elite 8, Regional Champ

7 California over 11 Utah St
The worst seed to make the Sweet 16 will run out of luck against Cal. Cal will continue to put up big numbers from the perimeter and should beat Utah St easily.

5 Purdue over 1 Connecticut
Purdue will frustrate the Huskies, and they'll have a turnover prone disaster of a game. Purdue will control this from the beginning and just demolish the seemingly better team.

5 Purdue over 7 California
Purdue will continue their run of dismantling teams with their defense. Once Cal's outside shot is taken away, they've got nothing, Purdue will win in a romp.

Purdue will be your West champs, their only test in will be against Washington, after that they'll have surprisingly easy games versus UConn and Cal.

[ ] - Ology, Episode I, The Overview

It's Bracketology time. Or not, I'm not really feeling real invested in this season's tourney, but I'm tempted to make picks just so I can beat the picks made by The President of the United States (hey, not like he's busy or anything).

So, unlike last year, I'll do the whole bracket thing, rather than picks round by round.

First some generalities about my picks, I always favor Pac 10 teams, no matter what, even though there was a lot of uneven play from those teams this year. Also, the Big 10 was awful, and got too many teams in the tourney, but they play a style of basketball that other schools might have trouble matching. Finally, the Big East was indeed a B'East this year, and was by far the best conference, but that doesn't mean they'll be sending all their schools into the Sweet 16.

Because I'm picking every game, that's too much for one post, instead I'll break it into Regions, and then a Final Four post, so expect 5 more posts to come to cover all my picks.

UPDATE:

I hadn't looked at Obama's picks before making my own, but after looking at them, I'm detecting a heavy dose of East Coast Bias. He has every Pac10 team losing in the 1st round except for Washington. Is that any way to treat the conference in which your brother-in-law coaches? Maybe Michelle looked over his shoulder and told him he better not pick any Pac10 teams, at least until Oregon State makes the tourney. He has no team worse than a 5 seed making the Sweet 16, and he has only UConn as a 1 seed failing to make the Final Four (and he has 2 Memphis beating them). His has to be the most boring bracket ever. I'm going to say it right now, Obama's my bitch, and I will obliterate his score in ESPN's Bracket Challenge. Even though we've had a few years where #1s have done well, those were exceptional years where there were only a few great teams, this year there are NO great teams, but lots of good ones, and this is going to be one of those old fashion unpredictable tournaments with upsets in every round.

Screw "U" and Your Messed Up Spelling Rules

So I got suckered into playing Times of London's Spelling Bee game, first run through the list had no words with different spelling for American and British English, so I scored a 15 out of 15, though I didn't get too high of a score cause some of the speakers they use are decidedly British, so that slowed me down (couldn't tell if "paddy" was "paddy" or "party" with a very long aaahhhhr and soft t, so used the word help and saw that its language of origin was Malay).

Took it again determined to up my speed, and the results are above, 3 words out of 15 this time that Brits choose to spell incorrectly (favorite, meter, harmonize), I caught on to spell 'metre' and 'harmonise' in that messed up manner Brits prefer, but somehow it slipped my mind on 'favourite'.

Dudes, you've had over 200 years since Webster tried to bring some sense to our shared language and figure out that favorite, color, neighbor, etc don't need an extra "u" in them, get with the program people.

(or should that be 'programme'?)


(and don't even get me started on the whole reversing the 'er' ending on words thing, I'm talking to you too Canadians, it's center, not centre, dammit, if you changed the spelling the Raptors and the Maple Leafs might stop sucking so hard..., seriously both those teams are going to miss the playoffs, and practically every damn team in the NBA and NHL make the playoffs, so that takes some doing)

(and I probably shouldn't make too much fun of 'The AirCanada Centre', given that Staples Center would be full of losers, too, if it weren't for the Lakers, those damn Kings and Clippers suck even harder than your Leafs and Raptors, I guess the 5 time champion Toronto Rock of the NLL are their Lakers equivalent, though they seem to be having a rough start this year)

UPDATE:

I played again, this time 15 out of 15, slowed down again though cause two of the words have homophones, and they don't give the word in a sentence (bail/bale, and foul/fowl in this case), but what made this attempt special was the word "snatch", I laughed out loud with the way the woman who got to say that word said her word. It was a truly glorious, and most likely intentionally smutty, reading of the word. For that I can almost forgive the damnable extraneous "u"s.

OMG!!! OMG!!! OMG!!! Cut & Paste!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Really, Apple people, really? This is exciting news?

Special Thoughts on the Special Relationship . . .

It would be easy to scoff at this Gallic arrogance, arguing that while Monsieur Myard can sit under his wisteria enjoying some lovely cheese, his country’s antipathy towards America means that all the pop music on French radio is rubbish and that his government cannot afford a new aircraft carrier.

However, if you look at Gordon Brown’s recent trip to Washington, Johnny Frenchman would appear to have a point. Gordon gave Obama Barrack a penholder carved from the timbers of an antislavery ship. The sister ship, in fact, of the one that was broken up and turned into the desk in the Oval Office.

Barrack, meanwhile, gave Brown The Graduate on DVD. Which smacks of an “Oh, Christ. What shall we get him?” moment at the local petrol station.

Jeremy Clarkson provides his thoughts on the status of the 'special relationship'.

(and as one commenter pointed out, there's one thing Brits and Yanks can agree on without hesitation, and that's that the Frogs suck, though Clarkson seems to think reproachment might have value)