Something's Not Quite Right with That Photo . . .

Victoria over at Sundries kindly posted a few photos of Paris Hilton's new pink Bentley.



It got me thinking that it makes perfect sense for Ms. Hilton to have a desire to ride around in something big and pink.

After all, much of her notoriety can be attributed to a time in her life where she was captured riding on something (fairly) big and pink, so there's a certain symmetry in this, and the universe likes symmetry.

So, I think it's only appropriate that a few changes are made to that photo . . .



There, much better.

(and really, one of the biggest selling "adult" vids of all time? seems like folks should have better taste than that)

(and don't pretend you don't get why the faux "night vision" is humorous, admit it, you've watched a bit of that vid at some point in your life)

Also, let this be a warning to any of my young female readers, if a gentleman friend of yours is trying to convince you to let him tape the two of you engaged in some 'happy fun kinky time', don't do that with any man who might be described as a little 'too cocky'. It's usually the ex-partner of a famous chick (or semi-famous) who releases these recordings, and it's a sure bet that if their 'part' in it was less than impressive, they'd manage to make sure that those images never see the light of day. See ladies, size matters (at least when it comes to the release of sex tapes).

Way To Build An Audience?

Insult your most avid fans:

In yesterday’s post I dared to say Paris Hilton entertains me, and I confessed I liked her because she works when she doesn’t need to, she has a sense of humor, and I’ve never heard of her being mean. This caused a Category 5 irony storm in the comments.

My favorite comments came from people who believe Paris Hilton’s television show on E!, The Simple Life, is a reality show about two stupid rich girls who do mean things. I hate to be a spoiler, but it’s a show produced by smart people, starring two rich girls who pretend to be mean and stupid. Their target audience is people who aren’t bright enough to know the show is staged.

And people wonder how I can be entertained by Paris Hilton. Good lord, the woman gives and she gives. This is performance art, and you’re part of the show, even if all you’re doing is strenuously denying its entertainment value and causing me to write this post that you are now reading.

My other favorite comments came from people who angrily point out how wrong it is to be entertained by something as trivial and unimportant as Paris Hilton’s life. This raises an interesting question: What the hell are you doing that’s so important? You’re not only reading The Dilbert Blog, but you’re leaving a frickin’ comment. How can you afford to take time out from your primary activity of performing free heart surgery on poor African babies?

In Scott Adams defense, the folks who feel compelled to comment on the blog, aren't all there as fans of his strip. Some might comment just to fling poo, others comment to vent, others comment cause others are commenting. So insulting the lot of folks who come there just to feel better about themselves by insulting the blog host for voicing his own personal opinion, will at the very least not drive away anybody who was actually a fan, and possibly even shore up his credibility with people that are fans. Plus more importantly, it probably feels satisfying on a personal level to ridicule the idiots who think their snide comments are comic gold, or worse yet, the sanctimonious jerks who think they've caught Adams in some sort of moral failing.

So insult away, Mr. Adams. I don't find the Paris Hilton act entertaining personally, but I do believe that the folks that pile-on in the Paris Hilton hating department have some mighty big problems themselves.

You Make the Call!

Another round of "You Make the Call"

In the above photo (via Drudge, used to illustrate this article):

mature individual, undergoing a serious psychological break fearful for what a few weeks of incarceration will do to her already delicate mental health status . . .

or, petulant, whiny, brat, whose emotional age isn't much beyond the terrible twos, and is shocked that their usual act, tantrums, and manipulations of other people didn't get her what she wanted for once . . .

UPDATE:

NICK UT: CRYING FETISHIST?

The bloggers at Jezebel referencing a post by Andrew Sullivan (I guess they're feminist and collectivist, no individual name given for this blogpost) (hat tip, Gawker, interestingly, there's no way to link the Gawker post, all roads lead to Jezebel, guess they're trying to improve traffic over at their latest blogging little sisters), note the gentleman responsible for the above photo, also snapped the famous crying, running, naked Vietnamese girl from 35 years ago. I think the point the Jezebelites try to make is a bit of a stretch, but nice catch, anyway (and as always with everything Sullivan-y, it wasn't Sullivan himself who notices the connection, but a "reader")