19 July 2007

College Mission Statement of the Day --- Pitzer College

You know what are fun? College mission statements. They're usually utter drivel. Not only are they drivel, they're self-important drivel that string together a bunch of touchy-feely buzzwords to absolutely no effect. In other words, the perfect target for ridicule.

I can't resist the ridiculous. I'm shallow that way. To kick this feature off, I'm not going after the worst, Pitzer College's mission statement is definitely middle of the pack as far as ridiculousness goes, but it's representative, and therefore a good starting point.

Pitzer College produces engaged, socially responsible citizens of the world through an academically rigorous, interdisciplinary liberal arts education emphasizing social justice, intercultural understanding and environmental sensitivity. The meaningful participation of students, faculty and staff in college governance and academic program design is a Pitzer core value. Our community thrives within the mutually supportive framework of the Claremont Colleges which provide an unsurpassed breadth of academic, athletic and social opportunities.


If I were to develop a checklist of things that are likely to show up in every "Mission Statement" I feature, I couldn't do a better job of 'buzzword bingo' than the above paragraph.

Socially responsible, yada yada yada, social justice, yada yada yada, environmental sensitivity, yada yada yada, community, yada, supportive, yada, unsurpassed breadth of academic, athletic and social opportunities. (I can't believe they left off 'diversity', you always got to tout, 'diversity', there's nothing more important than being, 'diverse', suppose they think that's implied by 'social justice')

The formula will vary some, but those are the bullet points. Course, the kiddies that attend these schools aren't looking for any of those things. They want to know, how easy will the grading be? Will going here help me get into a good grad school? Do hot (and easy) people go here? What's the drinking scene like? How far is it from dorm to classes? What's the meal plan like? If the kids going here aren't really, really hot, are they at least really, really easy? If I download and upload tons of songs and porn, will the administration bust me? Do they have wi-fi everywhere? What's the celphone reception like? Are there any hot teachers? Are the dorm bathrooms gross, really gross, or I'm better off at a truck stop gross?

For some reason none of those questions seem to get addressed in mission statements.

Oh well.

1 comment:

Dave said...

so this was posted a long time ago, so i doubt my ersponse will get noticed, but when i came across this i had to comment.

Pitzer is my alma mater, and although the school's mission statement may make similar statements to those of other schools, if you're going to criticize a mission statement you need to do it IN CONTEXT.

pitzer takes its missionn very seriously. many classes involve social work, such as media studies courses that have students make films supporting local activist groups, or a sociology class that has students teaching kids in juvie. acquiring community service hours is a graduation requirement, and most students surpass the quota.

the emphasis on 'interdisciplinary' is also not taken lightly. students are given a significant amount of freedom in organizing their majors and are encouraged to take a variety of course topics. moreover, there is another graduation requirement...can't remember what it is called, but you have to take 3 courses from different disciplines that present different cultural perspectives of a topic (or somethign like that) and justify your course choice.

the school also takes environmental sensitivity seriously. every dorm has a recycling program. the cafeteria mulches its organic waste. the newest dorm recieved a gold award from the US green building council.

be careful what you call buzzwords. pitzer takes its core values very seriously, and i'm proud to have been a part of an institution that took its mission to heart.