30 June 2007

Wedding Speculation, circa 2014

While checking up on Tom Cruise and what his role at United Artists is, noticed the deal with his wives. All three are actresses, and each successive wife is born 11 years later than the last (not an original observation on my part, others have noted this trend).

That would mean that his next wife was born in 1989. It's possible she's not a famous actress yet, but figured I'd make some suggestions directly to Tom Cruise, just in case he finds himself on the market again 6-10 years from now.

Kristin Herrera is a comely lass, building a nice little career for herself, don't know if she'd be willing to commit to Scientology, but I'm sure in 6-7 years from now, she might be ready. As an added bonus, she's only 5'4", so she might be able to wear heels when you go out together.

Ashley Benson, just in case you're tempted to go with another fair skinned blond/red head for your next wife. Another lass listed at only 5'4", that way she won't have to slouch in public all the time

Renee Olstead is another attractive petite actress (and singer) who might strike your fancy some years from now. She may have been in an unwatchable sitcom, but she has four octave range, and that's hard to beat.

Reina Tanaka is a lovely young singer/dancer/sort of actress from Japan who would surely be a perfect match for you. Here's a video of her posing, and one of her performing (I bet she even has you in mind while singing this song, Japanese girls are crazy for you, as you already know), to help you in your decisionmaking (and she's the shortest of the bunch at barely 5')

Daniel Radcliffe might be a possibility a few years from now, also. I'm not saying that you or he are gay, or have ever been gay, or are even bi-curious, and I've certainly never believed any of the numerous rumors about your sexuality that have pervaded the internet since there's been an internet. I'm not just saying that just to avoid becoming another in a long line of litigants with reference to rumors regarding your sexuality, either. But he's certainly a big star, and a big open relationship between two Hollywood players like this might be a major vehicle for social change. It might make a good career move for both of you, think of it as a marriage of convenience, and not a love match. Plus I'd bet he'd make a great stepdad(mom?) for Suri. Besides it's about time that Scientology makes crystal clear their views on homosexuality, and this would be a good way to signal believers and non-believers in a major clarification in Scientology policy.

1 comment:

Kilroy_60 said...

I'm sorry...you have so many posts to comment on. There would be so much to say. I just don't have the time.

Do, though, want to let you know that you've been included in the newest installment of A Hitchhiker's Guide To The Blogosphere

Should you have an opportunity to come for a look at The Gonzo Papers I'll be interested to see what you think.

Cheers!