More Campaign/Administration/Post-Administration Promises . . .

So the whole Scott McClellan thing is all over the place, and your first thought probably was, 'How would XWL handle a disloyal little jerk, like that?' (what, that wasn't your first thought?)

First off, I don't hate him, he's just making a buck, the market for an anti-Bush book is far bigger than a pro-Bush book, so he is just doing his duty as a good capitalist and giving the buying public what they want.

Second, since I'll be hiring David Chappelle as my first Press Secretary, I expect he'll be too busy getting stoned all the time (or finding himself, whatever his excuse is for not doing stuff) to bother coming out with a tell-all book after he resigns his position. My second Press Secretary (I figure I'll only get about 3 years out of Chapelle, so I'll have to hire a new one just as the 2020 election campaign begins to heat up) will be Samuel L. Jackson. That should get the press off my back. He'll be too busy making seven pictures a year to bother writing a tell-all, so I should be covered for his 18 months in the job (I'll just want him around till the 2nd inaugural). My final Press Secretary will be Kat Dennings, I'll encourage her to adopt her 'blogging' persona, and be as cryptic, tangential, and uninformative as possible. The press will be so disoriented by this point, that they won't notice as I've managed to dismantle half of the federal government in my 6 years in office (and it will only be six years, I'm quitting shortly after the 2022 mid-term elections and turning things over to my VP, Bobby Jindal).

So, I think with that plan, I'll be inoculated against a tell-all book of the kind McClellan has unleashed, plus, I plan on writing my own tell-all book ripping myself sometime around 2023, and I'll make a point of highlighting any differences between myself and Vice President Jindal regarding any of the unpopular (but necessary) decisions I made during my time as President. If I beat all the disgruntled employees to the punch, the market for their petty little memoirs will shrink to nothing. Shortly after the 2024 election, I'll release another book, an auto-hagiography, detailing the brilliance behind my time in office, and after a distance of a few years, people will better be able to appreciate how I shook up the office, made it less 'imperial', secured our prosperity through a belief in markets, and drove the final nail in the coffin of big government socialism in the United States.

I guess I better get busy raising money, already, can't cash in on having been President unless first you attain the office.