Weekly NFL Related Humiliation, Week 01, The Picks

Another NFL season descends. Another chance to humiliate myself with bad prognostications. I'm not bothering with the Bill Simmons comparisons, this week, let's see how badly he does in the first week before making a decision if it's worth my time.

I skipped Thursday, because football seasons aren't supposed to start on Thursdays, plus I'm limiting myself to five games a week to pick against the spread, so I'm concentrating on the four games being televised in Los Angeles on Sunday, and one of the Monday Night games.

New York Jets (4-12 in 2007) at Miami +4.0 (1-15 in 2007), My pick NYJ -4.0
Two teams that combined for 5 wins in 2007, and this is the best AFC match-up that CBS could muster? Oh, right, that fella who was in that Mary movie Bret something will be in this, and that guy who sells tuna fish when not coaching is now coachinggeneral managing again. The Bret somethings will beat the Mahi Mahis, but not cause of that Bret feller, he'll mostly suck, but the Jets defense will play well, and Chad Pennington will be Chad Pennington (and CBS, this is really going to be a better game to watch than JAX at TEN?)

Tampa Bay (9-7 in 2007) at New Orleans -3.5 (7-9 in 2007), My pick NO -3.5
I think everything should come together for the Saints this year, after slipping back into mediocrity in 2007 after a breakout year in 2006. Tampa Bay will be consistently good, but this week, they won't be good enough to contain the offensive firepower of the Saints, and the Saints defense will do enough to keep this from getting too close.

Dallas (13-3 in 2007) at Cleveland +5.5 (10-6 in 2007), My pick DAL -5.5
Dallas are pretty big favorites on the road against a solid Cleveland squad. After a few off season tweaks here and there, I don't know that Dallas will be at full strength in this opening game, but I think they can still manage to beat the Browns in Cleveland by at least a TD. Might end up being a yawner, or the Browns could keep it close for 3 quarters before fading in the 4th. Beats watching tennis (or it would if the tennis wasn't being postponed, oops, double checked, looks like there will be some tennis on with the completion of the Nadal-Murry semi and given that Murray has one the first two sets, it might be interesting to see if he can complete the upset, the score stands at Nadal 3, Murray 2 in the 3rd set, but then again, nahhh, men's tennis became pretty boring once they switched away from wooden rackets, no rallys, just big serves and big returns of serve, except in rare cases like that Wimbledon final between Nadal and Federer a few months ago, when did this become Tennis Chat?).

Chicago (7-9 in 2007) at Indianapolis -8.0 (13-3 in 2007), My pick Chicago +8.0
I still think Indy will win this game, but I don't think it will be by more than a TD. The Colts offense is very effecient, but the Bears defense is nearly equal in their capacity for being disruptive. I think this game is more evenly matched than it appears at first glance. Should be low scoring, but Indy will gut out a close win, which means I'm picking Chicago against the spread.

Minnesota (8-8 in 2007) at Green Bay Even (13-3 in 2007), My pick Minnesota Even
I'm a bit surprised this is a pick 'em game. Had Favre come back, I suspect that the home team would be at least a field goal favorite. I think the turmoil of the off season will catch up with The Packers in this game, and Minnesota ought to be able to sneak off the hostile field with a victory. Or the opposite could happen, and the team will rally around the new guy, and trounce the invading horde of Vikings. But, I'm thinking the former is more likely than the latter, so I'm sticking with going with the Vikes. I do think Green Bay will be shaky to start the season, and become a bit more consistent later.

Season Preview, An Entire Season's Worth of NFL Related Humiliation, OVERVIEW

Here are the links to all eight parts of my picks of all 256 games for the entire season (compiled before the first game on Thursday Sept 4th, any edits have been for errors I missed on first post, no picks have been changed, or will be changed, you'll just have to take my word on it, though). I'll post weekly updates each Tuesday, and I'll also be doing the usual Humiliating NFL Pick posts of 4 Los Angeles market televised games each week (unless I get bored with it towards the tenth week like I do every season).

Part 1, NFC East
Part 2, NFC West
Part 3, NFC North
Part 4, NFC South
Part 5, AFC East
Part 6, AFC West
Part 7, AFC North
Part 8, AFC South

As far as the playoffs go here are your NFC division winners, Dallas, Arizona, Green Bay, and New Orleans with Washington and Tampa Bay snagging the two wildcard spots. In the AFC I have New England, San Diego, Pittsburgh, and Jacksonville winning their divisions with the NY Jets and Houston Texans as surprise wildcard teams. I have the NFC Championship game being New Orleans at Dallas with Dallas winning, the AFC Champsionship game being Jacksonville at New England with Jacksonville managing to upset New England in the miserable cold of Gillette Stadium in late January, with a season ending Jacksonville triumph in Tampa Bay at Superbowl XLIII.

For the most part I'm within 2 games plus or minus compared to the opening betting lines for season win totals (just scroll down, it's on that page towards the middle), with a few notable exceptions. NY Giants I expect to be terrible (though they managed to beat Washington, despite only one TD, and Eli Manning's propensity to overthrow his receivers, the line on them is 9, and I gave them 3 wins for the season (which I guess should be revised to 4 now that I screwed up on the Thursday night kick-off game, nothing in that game suggests to me that they won't be terrible, just Washington started out even worse, and I still think Washington will turn things around they just had rookie coach jitters the first week). The team that I deviate most on the high side are the NY Jets, whose betting line opened at 7, but I have them tabbed for 11 victories. The other team I'm much more strongly skeptical of compared to the line is Denver, who opened at 8 victories, but I expect them to win only 3 games. My second biggest 'upset' favorite would be New Orleans, whose line is at 8.5, but I see winning 12 games, and challenging Dallas for the home field advantage throughout the NFC playoffs.

The AFC South will be the best division overall, and both the NFC and AFC West divisions will be craptastic, or maybe even craptacular, or possibly even crapulescent, though as I think about it some more, I'd have to go with a Don Kingian Craputilacious as the one word that encapsulates the crappiness of those eight teams collectively. However you slice it, and whatever word you use to describe those divisions, the word you use should begin with 'crap'.

That's the entire season as I see it. I'd be happy with better than 200 games picked correctly, I'd also be very surprised, but one can hope. And if you feel like betting heavily on my predictions, feel free, just know that I wouldn't put a dime on any of these picks (except maybe under 9 victories for the NY Giants, that's a lock as far as I'm concerned).

If I Were Tina Fey's Business Manager . . .

Ever since Gov. Palin was announced as Sen. McCain's pick, speculation turned to whether or not Tina Fey would play her on SNL.

She's not on staff anymore, but given the resemblance, she'd be a natural for the part, and poking around the interwebs, it seems expected, and if there isn't a Fey as Palin sketch in their first week back, I think folks will feel cheated.

What does that smell like? Smells like leverage, and lots of it. Lorne Michaels is a cheap bastard, but he's a smart cheap bastard, and he knows that for the duration of the election season he'll need Tina Fey to come in and deliver a sketch a week as Palin.

Don't know if they've ever solved their Barack problem, their first attempts were terrible, and I have no idea how they'll handle McCain, he presents them with some problems as well.

I'd say it's worth watching to see what happens, but we are talking about Saturday Night Live, and 'worth watching' and SNL really don't go together that often. Plus, they won't play fair with the politics, so whatever they come up with for Fey as Palin will be so absurdly offensive that the backlash from the first attempt might prevent any future appearances.

They could get away with offensive absurdity when they were a hip young show back in 1976, but now they are a venerable institution, a cash cow for NBC/Universal, and habitually play things safely, so I don't expect much from them.

But in the mean time, if Fey's business manager is at all competent, Fey will hold out for an unseemly pile of loot before coming back to the show temporarily. Afterall, she's a working mom with a wee one at home, so if she's going to give up a few rehearsals and Saturday evenings while also shooting 30 Rock, she's going to need serious compensation.

Season Preview, An Entire Season's Worth of NFL Related Humiliation, Part 8 --- AFC South

I saved the best for last. Every team in the divison will be at least .500, but only two are going to make the playoffs, and neither of those playoff teams will be the Colts. Jacksonville should put together a fine season and even challenge New England for the best record in the AFC, and when they meet in the AFC Championship game, anything can happen.

HOU O/U 7.5 wins, my total 10 UPDATE Week 2 PPd until Week 10, Week 10 Game against CIN Moved to Week 8
This is their break through year. They're making the playoffs for the first time, and they'll be one of the most solid teams on both side of the ball. (I know, crazy talk, but usually there's one or two team that makes a big leap from one year to the next, and they weren't half bad last year)

01 @PIT L (0-1)
02 BAL W (1-1) PPd until Week 10, BYE
03 @TEN L (0-2)
04 @JAX L (0-3)
05 IND W (1-3)
06 MIA L (1-4)
07 DET W (2-4)
08 BYE CIN W (3-4) Moved from Week 10
09 @MIN W (4-4)
10 CIN W (5-4) BAL W (5-4) Moved from Week 02
11 @IND L (5-5)
12 @CLE W (6-5)
13 JAX W (7-5)
14 @GB L (7-6)
15 TEN W (8-6)
16 @OAK W (9-6)
17 CHI W (10-6)

IND O/U 11.5 wins, my total 9
They're going to miss the playoffs for the first time in forever. Somethings got to give, and they seem poised to be hit by injuries. They'll still be competitive, and they'll still win more than they'll lose, but they'll be sitting at home when the real fun starts.

01 CHI W (1-0)
02 @MIN L (1-1)
03 JAX L (1-2)
04 BYE
05 @HOU L (1-3)
06 BAL W (2-3)
07 @GB L (2-4)
08 @TEN W (3-4)
09 NE W (4-4)
10 @PIT L (4-5)
11 HOU W (5-5)
12 @SD L (5-6)
13 @CLE W (6-6)
14 CIN L (6-7)
15 IND W (7-7)
16 @JAX W (8-7)
17 TEN W (9-7)

JAX O/U 10.5 wins, my total 12
This is their year to be one of the best teams in the league. I expect them to be the last undefeated in the league, making it through week ten with a 9-0 record. After that they'll be a little shaky, but then they should turn things around in the playoffs and upset New England in the championship game, make it to the Superbowl against Dallas, and then put an ass whopping on the 'Boys and become Superbowl XLIII champions in nearby Tampa (no luck on an all Florida bowl, though).

01 @TEN W (1-0)
02 BUF W (2-0)
03 @IND W (3-0)
04 HOU W (4-0)
05 PIT w (5-0)
06 @DEN W (6-0)
07 BYE
08 CLE W (7-0)
09 @CIN W (8-0)
10 @DET W (9-0)
11 TEN L (9-1)
12 MIN W (10-1)
13 @HOU L (10-2)
14 @CHI L (10-3)
15 GB W (11-3)
16 IND L (11-4)
17 @BAL W (12-4)

TEN O/U 8.5 wins, my total 8
They're almost good, but not really. Vince Young could almost be a great QB in the NFL, but not really. They're just kind of there. I expect them to start out strong, then fall apart.

01 JAX L (0-1)
02 @CIN W (1-1)
03 HOU W (2-1)
04 MIN W (3-1)
05 @BAL W (4-1)
06 BYE
07 @KC W (5-1)
08 IND L (5-2)
09 GB W (6-2)
10 @CHI L (6-3)
11 @JAX W (7-3)
12 NYJ L (7-4)
13 @DET L (7-5)
14 CLE W (8-5)
15 @HOU L (8-6)
16 PIT L (8-7)
17 @IND L (8-8)

Season Preview, An Entire Season's Worth of NFL Related Humiliation, Part 7 --- AFC North

The 'Black and Blue' division will be a little less black and blue and a bit more finesse in 2008. All the teams are going to under perform, but Pittsburgh should sneak off with the division crown by beating Cleveland in the last week of the season (it's a repeat of what's going to happen in the NFC North between Detroit and Green Bay, and Pittsburgh's field will be just as big of a mess as Green Bay's)

BAL O/U 7 wins, my total 4 UPDATE Week 2 PPd
They've lost their crappy QB for the season, and he'll be replaced by his even crappier back up. Despite their defense, this is a lost season for the Ravens.

01 CIN L (0-1)
02 @HOU L (0-1) PPd until Week 10
03 @CLE W (1-1)
04 PIT W (2-1)
05 TEN L (2-2)
06 @IND L (2-3)
07 @MIA L (2-4)
08 OAK W (3-4)
09 @CLE L (3-5)
10 BYE Make up Game, @HOU L (3-6)
11 @NYG L (3-7)
12 PHI L (3-8)
13 @CIN W (4-8)
14 WAS L (4-9)
15 PIT L (4-10)
16 @DAL L (4-11)
17 JAX L (4-12)

CIN O/U 7.5 wins, my total 6 UPDATE Schedule Change Due to Hurricane Ike
They just aren't a very good team, but they'll lose (and win from time to time) in exciting ways. There defense still sucks, so they'll win when they can light up the scoreboard, but there's no chance to be consistent in this league playing that way.

01 @BAL W (1-0)
02 TEN L (1-1)
03 @NYG W (2-1)
04 CLE W (3-1)
05 @DAL L (3-2)
06 @NYJ L (3-3)
07 PIT L (3-4)
08 BYE @HOU L (3-5) Moved from Week 10
09 JAX L (3-6)
10 @HOU L (3-6) Rescheduled for Week 08, BYE
11 PHI W (4-6)
12 @PIT L (4-7)
13 BAL L (4-8)
14 @IND W (5-8)
15 WAS L (5-9)
16 @CLE L (5-10)
17 KC W (6-10)

CLE O/U 8.5 wins, my total 7
They looked like an up and coming team last year, and just barely missed the playoffs, but I think they'll slip a bit this season (even though they'll still have a chance to win the division in the last game). They'll be good at times, horrible at others.

01 DAL L (0-1)
02 PIT W (1-1)
03 @BAL L (1-2)
04 @CIN L (1-3)
05 BYE
06 NYG W (2-3)
07 @WAS W (3-3)
08 @JAX L (3-4)
09 BAL W (4-4)
10 DEN W (5-4)
11 @BUF W (6-4)
12 HOU L (6-5)
13 IND L (6-6)
14 @TEN L (6-7)
15 @PHI L (6-8)
16 CIN W (7-8)
17 @PIT L (7-9)

PIT O/U 9.5 wins, my total 9
It's an up and down year for them, but they're still the best team in this division, and they should be able to squeak by and sneak into the playoffs. Once there, they'll get beat like a drum, but at least they'll make it to the post season.

01 HOU W (1-0)
02 @CLE L (1-1)
03 @PHI W (2-1)
04 BAL L (2-2)
05 @JAX L (2-3)
06 BYE
07 @CIN L (2-4)
08 NYG W (3-4)
09 @WAS L (3-5)
10 IND W (4-5)
11 SD W (5-5)
12 CIN W (6-5)
13 @NE L (6-6)
14 DAL L (6-7)
15 @BAL W (7-7)
16 @TEN W (8-7)
17 CLE W (9-7)

Season Preview, An Entire Season's Worth of NFL Related Humiliation, Part 6 --- AFC East

I believe the operative word to describe this division (with the exception of San Diego) is woeful.

DEN O/U 8 wins, my total 3
I just have a hunch they are going to be terrible team this year and the players are going to quit on their coach. Shanahan has been their too long, and they really don't have the talent to compete. It won't be pretty.

01 @OAK L (0-1)
02 SD L (0-2)
03 NO L (0-3)
04 @KC L (0-4)
05 TB W (1-4)
06 JAX L (1-5)
07 @NE L (1-6)
08 BYE
09 MIA W (2-6)
10 @CLE L (2-7)
11 @ATL L (2-8)
12 OAK W (3-8)
13 @NYJ L (3-9)
14 KC L (3-10)
15 @CAR L (3-11)
16 BUF L (3-12)
17 @SD L (3-13)

KC O/U 5.5 wins, my total 4
They are in full scale rebuilding mode, with mostly youngsters in a bunch of key positions. They'll be competitive in some games, but mostly they'll just suck.

01 @NE L (0-1)
02 OAK L (0-2)
03 @ATL L (0-3)
04 DEN W (1-3)
05 @CAR L (1-4)
06 BYE
07 TEN L (1-5)
08 @NYJ L (1-6)
09 TB L (1-7)
10 @SD L (1-8)
11 NO L (1-9)
12 BUF L (1-10)
13 @OAK W (2-10)
14 @DEN W (3-10)
15 SD L (3-11)
16 MIA W (4-11)
17 @CIN L (4-12)

OAK O/U 6 wins, my total 5
On the positive side, 2nd place in the division, on the negative side, it will only take five wins to get there. The least crappy of the crappier teams in this division. Russell ought to come along a bit, and their defense will continue to grow, but that won't equate to many victories. They will surprise a few playoff teams, though, so that's something.

01 DEN W (1-0)
02 @KC W (2-0)
03 @BUF L (2-1)
04 SD L (2-2)
05 BYE
06 @NO W (3-2)
07 NYJ W (4-2)
08 @BAL L (4-3)
09 ATL L (4-4)
10 CAR L (4-5)
11 @MIA L (4-6)
12 @DEN L (4-7)
13 KC L (4-8)
14 @SD W (5-8)
15 NE L (5-9)
16 HOU L (5-10)
17 @TB L (5-11)

SD O/U 11 wins, my total 11
Division champs, but not as good as last year's team, and a lot will depend on the health of their key backfield players. They're going to win plenty of games, but they'll also be inconsistent, and aren't going to do well in the post season. Norv Turner is still Norv Turner, afterall, last year was an abberation.

01 CAR W (1-0)
02 @DEN W (2-0)
03 NYJ L (2-1)
04 @OAK W (3-1)
05 @MIA W (4-1)
06 NE W (5-1)
07 @BUF L (5-2)
08 @NO W (6-2)
09 BYE
10 KC W (7-2)
11 @PIT L (7-3)
12 IND W (8-3)
13 ATL W (9-3)
14 OAK L (9-4)
15 @KC W (10-4)
16 @TB L (10-5)
17 DEN W (11-5)

Season Preview, An Entire Season's Worth of NFL Related Humiliation, Part 5 --- AFC East

This is going to be a tough division. New England should still stay on top, but the Jets will be improved, the Bills will play tough, and even Miami is going to be somewhat respectable this year with Parcells at the helm. This division should send both New England and the Jets to the playoffs this year.

BUF O/U 7.5 wins, my total 8
They are a solid team, that plays well, but they'll struggle on the road and find ways to lose to teams they should be able to beat (and beat a few of the better teams along the way, too). They get to play a game 'home' game in Toronto, these regular season games in foreign lands are kind of silly if you ask me.
01 SEA W (0-1)
02 @JAX L (1-1)
03 OAK W (2-1)
04 @STL L (2-2)
05 @ARI L (2-3)
06 BYE
07 SD W (3-3)
08 @MIA L (3-4)
09 NYJ L (3-5)
10 @NE L (3-6)
11 CLE L (3-7)
12 @KC W (4-7)
13 SF W (5-7)
14 MIA W (6-7)
15 @NYJ W (7-7)
16 @DEN W (8-7)
17 NE L (8-8)

MIA O/U 5 wins, my total 6
They'll be much improved compared to last year's disaster, but they'll start slowly. By week 11 they'll claw their way back to .500, but then fall back down to earth after that. Parcells is building something here, but they aren't there yet, so improved, but not even a sniff of the playoffs for Miami.
01 NYJ L (0-1)
02 @ARI L (0-2)
03 @NE L (0-3)
04 BYE
05 SD L (0-4)
06 @HOU W (1-4)
07 BAL W (2-4)
08 BUF W (3-4)
09 @DEN L (3-5)
10 SEA W (4-5)
11 OAK W (5-5)
12 NE L (5-6)
13 @STL L (5-7)
14 @BUF L (5-8)
15 SF L (5-9)
16 @KC L (5-10)
17 @NYJ W (6-10)

NE O/U 12.5 wins, my total 13
Ho hum, best team in the Conference, again. They should start out winning their first four, extending their regular season win streak to a gazillion, but they'll get stopped by the Chargers in San Diego. It will come as a relief in some ways to not have a streak to worry about, they'll settle down and go about winning their division, getting home field, and marching through the playoffs (all assuming Brady's foot isn't too bad).
01 KC W (1-0)
02 @NYJ W (2-0)
03 MIA W (3-0)
04 BYE
05 @SF W (4-0)
06 @SD L (4-1)
07 DEN W (5-1)
08 STL W (6-1)
09 @IND L (6-2)
10 BUF W (7-2)
11 NYJ L (7-3)
12 @MIA W (8-3)
13 PIT W (9-3)
14 @SEA W (10-3)
15 @OAK W (11-3)
16 ARI W (12-3)
17 @BUF W (13-3)

NYJ O/U 7 wins, my total 11
This isn't Favre worship, honest. He's not the difference maker here, it's an improved defense, and better execution on offense (even with an old new QB) that will lead to a playoff year for these Jets. They'll even have a division lead over New England late in the season, before coming back down a bit with a season ending skid.
01 @MIA W (1-0)
02 NE L (1-1)
03 @SD W (2-1)
04 ARI W (3-1)
05 BYE
06 CIN W (4-1)
07 @OAK L (4-2)
08 KC W (5-2)
09 @BUF W (6-2)
10 STL W (7-2)
11 @NE W (8-2)
12 @TEN W (9-2)
13 DEN W (10-2)
14 @SF W (11-2)
15 BUF L (11-3)
16 @SEA L (11-4)
17 MIA L (11-5)

Season Preview, An Entire Season's Worth of NFL Related Humiliation, Part 4 --- NFC South

Other than Atlanta, every team in this division is going to be tough to beat and be in the hunt for the playoffs. I think New Orleans should barely edge out Tampa for the division title, but Tampa should sneak into the playoffs and knock out Philly as the other wildcard with Washington.

Atlanta O/U 5 wins, my total 4
They'll suck as expected, but they'll also play well in spurts, just won't translate into a lot of victories. They're a few years off from being good again.

01 DET L (0-1)
02 @TB L (0-2)
03 KC W (1-2)
04 @CAR L (1-3)
05 @GB L (1-4)
06 CHI L (1-5)
07 BYE
08 @PHI L (1-6)
09 @OAK W (2-6)
10 NO L (2-7)
11 DEN W (3-7)
12 CAR W (4-7)
13 @SD L (4-8)
14 @NO L (4-9)
15 TB L (4-10)
16 @MIN L (4-11)
17 STL L (4-12)

Carolina O/U 8 wins, my total 8
I expect them to be up and down all season, beating some good teams, losing to some crappy teams, and end up with an unsatisfying 8-8 record when it's all over with.

01 @SD L (0-1)
02 CHI W (1-1)
03 @MIN L (1-2)
04 ATL W (2-2)
05 KC W (3-2)
06 @TB L (3-3)
07 NO W (4-3)
08 ARI W (5-3)
09 BYE
10 @OAK L (5-4)
11 DET W (6-4)
12 @ATL L (6-5)
13 @GB L (6-6)
14 TB L (6-7)
15 DEN W (7-7)
16 @NYG W (8-7)
17 @NO L (8-8)

New Orleans O/U 8.5 wins, my total 12
They're going to start of smoking hot this season, running off 5 straight wins, followed by a 3 game losing streak, but then they'll settle into a groove after they get back from London (yes, they play in London against San Diego, and it's designated as a 'home' game) they'll run off a nice 7 of 8 wins and snag the 2 seed in the playoffs (and get beat by Dallas in the NFC Championship game)

01 TB W (1-0)
02 @WAS W (2-0)
03 @DEN W (3-0)
04 SF W (4-0)
05 MIN W (5-0)
06 OAK L (5-1)
07 @CAR L (5-2)
08 SD L (5-3)
09 BYE
10 @ATL W (6-3)
11 @KC W (7-3)
12 GB W (8-3)
13 @TB W (9-3)
14 ATL W (10-3)
15 @CHI L (10-4)
16 @DET W (11-4)
17 CAR W (12-4)

Tampa Bay O/U 8.5 wins, my total 11
I expect them to be playoff bound again. They'll start out a bit slow, but then finish strong, just missing catching New Orleans after losing to them late in the season. They'll probably make it out of the wildcard round, but they aren't going to beat Dallas or New Orleans in the 2nd week of the playoffs.

01 @NO L (0-1)
02 ATL W (1-1)
03 @CHI L (1-2)
04 GB W (2-2)
05 @DEN L (2-3)
06 CAR W (3-3)
07 SEA W (4-3)
08 @DAL L (4-4)
09 @KC W (5-4)
10 BYE
11 MIN W (6-4)
12 @DET W (7-4)
13 NO L (7-5)
14 @CAR W (8-5)
15 @ATL W (9-5)
16 SD W (10-5)
17 OAK W (11-5)

Season Preview, An Entire Season's Worth of NFL Related Humiliation, Part 3 --- NFC North

This will be the "parity" division in 2008. Three teams at 7-9, and one at 9-7. The division championship will come down to the Detroit at Green Bay match up in week 17. Otherwise, it's a perfectly middle of the road division with no teams to get excited about.

Chicago O/U 8 wins, my total 7
I see them having an up and down year, dropping to 2-6 by week 9, but picking things up after that and winning the next 5 of 6 games. Won't be enough to make them playoff bound, though.

01 @IND L (0-1)
02 @CAR L (0-2)
03 TB W (1-2)
04 PHI L (1-3)
05 @DET L (1-4)
06 @ATL L (1-5)
07 MIN W (2-5)
08 BYE
09 DET L (2-6)
10 TEN W (3-6)
11 @GB L (3-7)
12 @STL W (4-7)
13 @MIN W (5-7)
14 JAX W (6-7)
15 NO W (7-7)
16 GB L (7-8)
17 @HOU L (7-9)

Detroit O/U 6.5 wins, my total 7
Another streaky team, I see them being a decent team, but they'll eventually under acheive. Lions fans will have another non playoff year to not cheer for.

01 @ATL W (1-0)
02 GB L (1-1)
03 @SF W (2-1)
04 BYE
05 CHI W (3-1)
06 @MIN L (3-2)
07 @HOU L (3-3)
08 WAS W (4-3)
09 @CHI W (5-3)
10 JAX L (5-4)
11 @CAR L (5-5)
12 TB L (5-6)
13 TEN W (6-6)
14 MIN W (7-6)
15 @IND L (7-7)
16 NO L (7-8)
17 @GB L (7-9)

Green Bay O/U 9 wins, my total 9
The Favre-less Packers will hover around .500 all season, not getting more than a game above that number until their final win at home on the 'frozen tundra' (can't not make a 'frozen tundra' remark regarding a game in late December at Lambeau Field, that will have playoff implications for both teams).

01 MIN L (0-1)
02 @DET W (1-1)
03 DAL L (1-2)
04 @TB L (1-3)
05 ATL W (2-3)
06 @SEA W (3-3)
07 IND W (4-3)
08 BYE
09 @TEN L (4-4)
10 @MIN W (5-4)
11 CHI L (5-5)
12 @NO L (5-6)
13 CAR W (6-6)
14 HOU W (7-6)
15 @JAX L (7-7)
16 @CHI W (8-7)
17 DET W (9-7)

Minnesota O/U 8 wins, my total 7
Close, but no cigar, they'll start off hot, beating some good teams, then they'll have a big losing streak in the middle of the season, only to win their last few games after already being eliminated from the playoffs. Sucks to be a Viking fan.

01 @GB W (1-0)
02 IND W (2-0)
03 CAR W (3-0)
04 @TEN L (3-1)
05 @NO L (3-2)
06 DET W (4-2)
07 @CHI L (4-3)
08 BYE
09 HOU L (4-4)
10 GB L (4-5)
11 @TB L (4-6)
12 @JAX L (4-7)
13 CHI L (4-8)
14 @DET L (4-9)
15 @ARI W (5-9)
16 ATL W (6-9)
17 NYG W (7-9)

(I switched to abbreviations, it's harder to read, but it was much faster to type, all the info is still there).

Season Preview, An Entire Season's Worth of NFL Related Humiliation, Part 2 --- NFC West

Can I just skip this division? I think every team here sucks, but Arizona will suck less than everyone else.

Arizona Cardinals O/U 8 wins, my total 9
A so-so 9-7 year, should be enough to win the division, though. I don't know what to say, every year I think they'll finally break through, and every year they disappoint, but not this year . . .

Week 01 @San Francisco W (1-0)
Week 02 Miami W (2-0)
Week 03 @Washington L (2-1)
Week 04 @NY Jets L (2-2)
Week 05 Buffalo W (3-2)
Week 06 Dallas W (4-2)
Week 07 BYE
Week 08 @Carolina L (4-3)
Week 09 @St.Louis W (5-3)
Week 10 San Francisco L (5-4)
Week 11 @Seattle W (6-4)
Week 12 NY Giants W (7-4)
Week 13 @Philadelphia L (7-5)
Week 14 St.Louis W (8-5)
Week 15 Minnesota L (8-6)
Week 16 @New England L (8-7)
Week 17 Seattle W (9-7)

San Francisco O/U 5.5, my total 3
Meh, lousy team (3-13 lousy), lousy division, I could write more, but what's the point?
Week 01 Arizona L (0-1)
Week 02 @Seattle L (0-2)
Week 03 Detroit L (0-3)
Week 04 @New Orleans L (0-4)
Week 05 New England L (0-5)
Week 06 Philadelphia L (0-6)
Week 07 @NY Giants L (0-7)
Week 08 Seattle W (1-7)
Week 09 BYE
Week 10 @Arizona L (1-8)
Week 11 St.Louis W (2-8)
Week 12 @Dallas L (2-9)
Week 13 @Buffalo L (2-10)
Week 14 NY Jets L (2-11)
Week 15 @Miami W (3-11)
Week 16 @St.Louis L (3-12)
Week 17 Washington L (3-13)

Seattle O/U 9 wins, my total 6
Meh 6-10, they're finally slipping out of being a playoff team, it was a mediocre run of mediocrity while it lasted (even their Superbowl appearance was mediocre).

Week 01 @Buffalo L (0-1)
Week 02 San Francisco W (1-1)
Week 03 St.Louis W (2-1)
Week 04 BYE
Week 05 @NY Giants W (3-1)
Week 06 Green Bay L (3-2)
Week 07 @Tampa Bay L (3-3)
Week 08 @San Francisco L (3-4)
Week 09 Philadelphia W (4-4)
Week 10 @Miami L (4-5)
Week 11 Arizona L (4-6)
Week 12 Washington L (4-7)
Week 13 @Dallas L (4-8)
Week 14 Newe England L (4-9)
Week 15 @St.Louis W (5-9)
Week 16 NY Jets W (6-9)
Week 17 @Arizona L (6-10)

St.Louis O/U 6.5 wins, my total 3
Another crappy team, another crappy record, another team not worth paying attention to if you live outside of the St.Louis area.

Week 01 @Philadelphia L (0-1)
Week 02 NY Giants L (0-2)
Week 03 @Seattle L (0-3)
Week 04 Buffalo W (1-3)
Week 05 BYE
Week 06 @Washington L (1-4)
Week 07 Dallas L (1-5)
Week 08 @New Engalnd L (1-6)
Week 09 Arizona L (1-7)
Week 10 @NY Jets L (1-8)
Week 11 @San Francisco L (1-9)
Week 12 Chicago L (1-10)
Week 13 Miami L (1-11)
Week 14 @Arizona L (1-12)
Week 15 Seattle L (1-13)
Week 16 San Francisco W (2-13)
Week 17 @Atlanta W (3-13)

That's the crappy NFC West division, predicted record against non-NFC West teams, (09-31), I'll crank these out before Thursday's kick-off, the more divisions I do, the easier it'll get, since I'll have already made picks on most of the non-division books.

Season Preview, An Entire Season's Worth of NFL Related Humiliation, Part 1 --- NFC East

(Teams listed alphabetically)

Dallas Cowboys O/U 11 wins, my total 13
They should be pretty good this year, how good? Howabout 13-3 good (8-0 at home 5-3 on the road), that's how good, home field throughout the NFC playoffs, and a Superbowl appearance.

Week 01 @Cleveland W (1-0)
Week 02 Philadephia W (2-0)
Week 03 @Green Bay W (3-0)
Week 04 Washington W (4-0)
Week 05 Cincinnati W (5-0)
Week 06 @Arizona L (5-1)
Week 07 @St.Louis W(6-1)
Week 08 Tampa Bay W (7-1)
Week 09 @NY Giants W (8-1)
Week 10 BYE
Week 11 @Washington L (8-2)
Week 12 San Francisco W (9-2)
Week 13 Seattle W (10-2)
Week 14 @Pittsburgh W (11-2)
Week 15 NY Giants W (12-2)
Week 16 Baltimore W (13-2)
Week 17 @Philadelphia L (13-3)

NY Giants O/U 9 wins, my total 3
They sucked last year, most of the time, their entire season should have fallen apart in that game in DC, but they turned things around in that game, and the entire rest of the season, they won't be so lucky in 08. It's going to be an abyssmal year, from Superbowl Champs to 3-13 and last place in the NFC East, with a perfect 0-6 record against division opponents. All those Eli & Peyton ads that are running this season will be Peyton only ads again next year.

Week 01 Washington L (0-1)
Week 02 @St.Louis W (1-1)
Week 03 Cincinnati L (1-2)
Week 04 BYE
Week 05 Seattle L (1-3)
Week 06 Cleveland L (1-4)
Week 07 San Francisco W (2-4)
Week 08 @Pittsburgh L (2-5)
Week 09 Dallas L (2-6)
Week 10 @Philadelphia L (2-7)
Week 11 Baltimore W (3-7)
Week 12 @Arizona L (3-8)
Week 13 @Washington L (3-9)
Week 14 Philadephia L (3-10)
Week 15 @Dallas L (3-11)
Week 16 Carolina L (3-12)
Week 17 @Minnesota L (3-13)

Philadephia Eagles O/U 8.5 wins, my total 10
It's gonna be a good season for the Iggles. McNabb will be solid, and their defense is always stellar. Too bad Dallas and Washington will be just a bit better, solid year, and at 10-6 they ought to be the other wildcard (along with Washington) in the NFC. UPDATE: Scratch the playoff talk, Tampa's going to edge them out for the last wildcard, hadn't completed the entire division before this write-up, didn't think another non-division winner would be better than 10-6, but I think the NFC South will be pretty strong this year.

Week 01 St.Louis W (1-0)
Week 02 @Dallas L (1-1)
Week 03 Pittsburgh L (1-2)
Week 04 @Chicago W (2-2)
Week 05 Washington W (3-2)
Week 06 @San Francisco W (4-2)
Week 07 BYE
Week 08 Atlanta W (5-2)
Week 09 @Seattle L (5-3)
Week 10 NY Giants W (6-3)
Week 11 @Cincinnati L (6-4)
Week 12 @Baltimore W (7-4)
Week 13 Arizona L (7-5)
Week 14 @NY Giants W (8-5)
Week 15 Cleveland W (9-5)
Week 16 @Washington L (9-6)
Week 17 Dallas W (10-6)

Washington O/U 8 wins, my total 11
They should make the playoffs again this year, again as a wildcard, though. Jason Campbell should make the leap to one of the top six QBs in the league, and their defense will be stingy. 11-5 and one of the wildcard spots while rolling into the playoffs on an 8 game win streak.

Week 01 @NY Giants W (1-0)
Week 02 New Orleans L (1-1)
Week 03 Arizona W (2-1)
Week 04 @Dallas L (2-2)
Week 05 @Philadelphia L (2-3)
Week 06 St.Louis W (3-3)
Week 07 Cleveland L (3-4)
Week 08 @Detroit L (3-5)
Week 09 Pittsburgh W (4-5)
Week 10 BYE
Week 11 Dallas W (5-5)
Week 12 @Seattle W (6-5)
Week 13 NY Giants W (7-5)
Week 14 @Baltimore W (8-5)
Week 15 @Cincinnati W (9-5)
Week 16 Philadelphia W (10-5)
Week 17 @San Francisco W (11-5)

So that's the NFC East, they'll account for 3 2 of the 6 NFC Playoff teams, along with the top seed, the only crap team in the division, those Superbowl Champion NY Giants.

UPDATE: Just realized I could give this a betting spin, I'm going to compare my win total for each team with the current over and under line on season win totals as listed at VegasInsider.com in their FutureBook Odds. That number isn't meant to be an exact prediction of each team's performance, just a number they put up where they can expect about an even amount of money to be bet on either side of the line. It's as close as you'll get to anyone else making a pre-season prediction on each team's win totals though, so for my purposes it's a good number to reference.

If I Ever Write a Post Like the One Below, I Invite You ALL to Come Over to My House, and Slap Some Sense in to ME . . .

Below is the entirety of Andrew Sullivan's liveblog of Palin's speech, annotated by me (in red, and alternate font), for your convenience and elucidation (I suggest reading it from the bottom up):

11.10 pm. Reality television has become our politics.
Yeah, whatever, cry into your beer (I almost typed bear, I think either would be correct) tonight Sully, you just saw The One get schooled.

11.06 pm. Both Huckabee and Palin have used the t-word. Of course, they are not criminally liable, as Bush is.
More moral equivalency crap, at Gitmo the inmates get proper medical attention, food, water, even counsel, some rough interrogation techniques have been used (and some of those techniques are questionable, and should be stopped, but that doesn't mean all interrogation is torture, or the experiences are anywhere close to being comparable), but there is no equivalence to what McCain experienced over his five years in captivity, and to suggest so may make a person popular in the DC-NYC cocktail party crowd, but it sounds on awful lot like the usual lefty America-hating tripe, from someone who is supposed to have a 'conservative soul'.

11.05 pm. Every time the camera pans to McCain's mother, she seems mortified. I don't really blame her. Can you imagine what she was thinking as a tiny special needs baby is passed from person to person for the cable news.
OK, now you're just projecting you jerk. I'm gobsmacked. I can not even begin to describe how full of contempt Sully sounds with that little blurb, and how contemptible I find his attitude.

11.03 pm. However admirable it is to be a mayor, is it really necessary to drip contempt for people who work as community organizers? It seems to me that Palin doesn't quite have the stature to be putting down someone who has won millions of people's votes. This is a much more partisan speech than I was expecting.
Winning primary votes now equals executive experience, that's good to know for future reference. And again with the worshipful attitude towards community organizing, very 'Conservative Soul' of you Sully.

11.00 pm Styrofoam pillars; and self-designed seals. And her lip curls.
And your point, Sully?

10.58 pm. Now it's about big government - which Republicans have exploded in size. But no one can notice the actual record of the GOP in growing government and increasing debt. That would be too much accountability.
Yeah, how dare they not offer an extensive mea culpa at their own convention about all the bad things the GOP has done, I don't recall any of the Democrats owning up to their part in various government debacles . . .

10.56 pm. Obama wants to reduce American power and prevent energy production. The mockery of Obama from Palin is striking. I don't recall anyone mocking McCain at the DNC.
Sully doesn' recall anyone mocking McCain, in a sense he's right, instead the Democrats were too busy running against 'Bush's 3rd term', besides, if Obama had actually done anything before they could mock his policies more, but in the absence of policy, they have no choice but to mock the celebrity and lack of credentials, which is what they mocked, not him personally.

10.53 pm. Drill, baby, drill! I may be just revealing that I'm out of touch, but I don't see why laying pipelines is now a core rallying cry of American conservatism.
There's a 'laying pipe' joke in there somewhere, but I'm not touching it.

10.50 pm. I have to say that the affect is of someone running for high school president.
Yeah, you already implied that with the Tracy Flick comment, jerk.

10.49 pm. Piper is poking Trig in the eye!
He forgot to mention the moment she used a wad of saliva to slick down Trig's hair.

10.48 pm. Ethics reform is her first policy proposal.
Policy, schmolicy, she's an unkown quantity, if she just got up there and was wonky the whole time, she'd have lost the audience, she needed to introduce herself to America, and she did.

10.47 pm. She has this weird tick of scrunching up her face to make a forceful point. Kinda Tracy Flicky.
If looking like a young Reese Witherspoon is a bad thing, then I don't want to be right (and for the record, I look nothing like Reese Witherspoon)

10.44 pm. Palin echoes Giuliani's attack on "cosmopolitan" elites. All the buzzwords are there. Elite. Elite. Elite. This is a culture war speech - and she is becoming a symbol of red America. This is what they have to do top win: divide and polarize again. We are half way through, by the way, and we have not heard a single policy proposal. But we have heard contempt for someone who works as a community organizer in the South Side of Chicago.
There is no higher office than 'community organizer', yeah, right.

10.40 pm. We've just seen a picture of a seven year old cradling and stroking the hair of a Down Syndrome infant. This, apparently, is relevant to deciding who should be the next vice-president of the United States.
A no win situation, had Trig not been there, Sully would have been all, 'See, she's ashamed of her special needs child, what a disgusting parent'

10.39 pm. I'm just slack-jawed that, so far, the entire speech has been basically about her family. She seems as if she just won a reality show and is introducing her folks. And they have passed the baby now to four different people - including another child. Slack-jawed.
How dare she flaunt her damnably fertile uterus, it's an insult to LGBTTTIQQ folks everywhere!



(and if it's not clear already, the portions of this post that are slap worthy are Sully's, my annotations, on the other hand, deserve hugs, kisses, and pats on the back)

I Believe This Might Be Our Introduction to the GOP's 2040 Vice Presidential Candidate . . .

See more funny videos and funny pictures at CollegeHumor.

(found at gizmodo, where they found it at wired's danger room)

I Suppose It's a Good Thing That Journalist Are So Responsive to Criticism (Chris Ayres Edition). . .

"I can't prove this is made up"? Well, you could always Google 'Bentley' and 'Hyundai' (as I did, because I couldn't believe my own eyes) and this would be the result: http://www.autoblog.com/2007/07/05/cruel-sick-joke-bentley-continental-badged-as-a-hyundai/ Likewise, with the bunny story, you could buy Palin's biography and turn to page 17. Patina is surely among the most expensive restaurants in LA, and if Obama isn't a good orator, McCain is a Yupik Inuit. My bad on New Mexico and Polaris.

A response in reply to my Chris Ayres post, from a "Chris", I will assume this Chris is that Chris, though as with everything on the internet, this may or not be the case (and what's the deal with award-winning journalists responding to my thoughts on media?).

First, the Bentley thing, one sick joker who probably lost a bet, doesn't a trend make. You can get a single fact right, and still completely miscontrue the truth. In some ways it's anti-truthiness. Rather than making up a fact and then spinning a larger truth from a lie, this is an example of finding a fact, and then making up a larger lie based on one small fact.

2nd, the first chapter of the Palin bio is a PDF available on the net, so let's read what Kaylene Johnson wrote on page 17 (reprinted without permission, but seems like pretty fair use to me):

When the family wasn’t running or hiking, it was hunting or fishing.

“We could literally go hunting out our back door,” Chuck Jr. said. Sarah shot her first rabbit at age ten not far from the back porch. In her teens, she hunted caribou with her father. The family’s freezer was always full of fish and game. Chuck
Jr. said he didn’t eat a beef steak until he was a senior in high school. Gardening helped fill the family larder.

Here again is what Chris Ayres spun from this:

At the age of 10, Sarah Palin got her very own bunny rabbit. Which means to say that she crouched down in the grass outside her family home, aimed her shotgun and blew its furry little head off. That's how things work in Alaska. You kill stuff. You freeze it. You turn it into stew.

Notice a difference? First, no mention of the weapon used, so the shotgun part is made up. Second, calling a wild hare a "bunny rabbit" suggests a fuzzy little domesticated animal, and not some lop-eared feral beast/pest that would threaten the family's vegetable garden (in good breeding years, wild rabbits are rapacious garden destroying pests). So what we have here is one made up fact not supported by the source (the shotgun), and a characterization that paints the anecdote far more luridly than originally given. It's a choice, and in my opinion a dishonest choice.

As far as Sen. Obama possessing "faultless oratory skills", I guess we'll have to agree to disagree. But, in my opinion (and as stated in my other post), to count as a 'faultless orator' one would need to be great both speaking from prepared text, and without a script. Sen. Obama has not met that standard, I commend his ability to speak from a script, but he's a bit of a mess without a teleprompter, for example:

That's just one moment, but to me 'faultless' suggests without fault regardless of the situation, and above is just one example of Sen. Obama struggling while answering a question off teleprompter.

And as far as Patina goes, again, it's not untrue that a couple could spend $400 feasting at Patina, and it is indeed one of the more expensive restaurants in L.A. (but by no means close to being the most expensive, the upscale Japanese restaurants in town usually earn that honor), you could run up huge tabs at any good restaurant if you include the cost of drinks (I used to check expense reports at an entertainment company, so I've seen +$500 receipts for appetizers and drinks for 4 people before, and that was ten years ago). The point seemed to be that Mayor Villaraigosa isn't plebeian enough, but it's a silly point to try and make, and it could be made without exaggeration (and besides, this is L.A., a little glamour never hurts, so long as it's not on the public dime, though I have no idea what non-government jobs Villaraigosa has had where he can afford to go to Patina too often (his girlfriend probably pays), but that's a completely different story, and tangential to this discussion).

And thank you Mr. Ayres for admitting small factual screw-ups regarding New Mexico and Piper Indy Palin's name.

You aren't a bad writer, your LA Notebook is entertaining after a fashion, but the place you describe is basically a fantasy that has little connection to the real thing. I recommend that you get out a bit more, visit a suburb or city within 60 miles of downtown that you've previously haven't visited, once a week. Chat up a local a two, and maybe you'll learn something about this vast and confused land and be able to communicate a fairer and more interesting snapshot of this megalopolis to the readers back in England. If I may make a suggestion, the L.A. County Fair begins in a few days, and that place would be chock-full-a stuff you can poke fun at, and show you a side of this town that I'm guessing you haven't experienced.

It's just a suggestion, I'm sure the editors at Times of London will continue to support your column one way or the other (you're not the first columnist over there I've noticed stretching the truth to fit their own narrative), but if you want readers here to respect your writing, tighten it up a bit. This is an interesting place, it's an exaggerated fantasy land in a lot of ways just as it is, no truth stretching necessary to sell it that way.

Besides, Mr. Ayres, it's not a bad thing I have my eye on you, think of me as one of your most loyal readers, and come by any time to comment on any of my posts, whether they're about you or not (and if I see you in a pub, I'll buy you Guinness, no hard feelings, and if you don't drink Guinness, well, screw you, then, what kind of Englishman are you?)

The Debates I'd Like to See, Part II

OK, for the primaries, I already advised both parties on a better way to get the candidates together to discuss the issues, now it's time to fix the debate structure for the general election (in a manner that neither party will ever agree to, unfortunately).

Here's what we need for the general election (it even has a catchy title)

THE GREAT AMERICAN WONK-OFF

Here's the set-up, after the RNC convention wraps up, and both candidates are set, they'll have a week to announce a team of advisers that will represent them on specific policy areas. Basically, I'd expect both candidates to all but announce their major cabinet picks, plus their top administrator. The furious five would be the presumptives of both parties for the position of Secretary of State, Defense, Treasury, Attorney General, as well as Chief of Staff. "Why those five?" you ask. Good question, here's the answer, State and Defense give the broader framework of international relations, and when it comes to the Executive branch, that's the one area that they have the most reach and power when compared to the other two branches, so it's crucial to know as much as possible about the kind of person a candidate is considering for those positions before voters are forced to make their choice. As far as domestic policy, Treasury and Attorney General are the two main surrogates, Treasury because economic policy is set by the President, and his choice there is a big signal as to what he thinks would be successful in helping America prosper, and the other big side of domestic policy is lawmaking, law interpretation, and criminal prosecution, and the AG is in charge of all that. The many other cabinet positions, and cabinet level offices have their roles (though many of them could be eliminated and folded into other offices), but to keep this from getting out of hand just a few big picture type folks are all that is necessary to make this more informative than the system we have now. That's why a Chief of Staff, as far as sub-Secretary level appointments, is someone I want to hear from as well. The kind of person a President chooses for Chief of Staff says a lot about a President, and it is one of the most purely political offices in the cabinet. Know who that pick will be, and you'll know what the real nuts and bolts of an administration will be like. It would be fascinating to hear prospective Chiefs hash out politics with each other.

Here's how the WONK-OFF would work. The two presumptive Secretaries of State would go at each other directly for two hours on matters of state. They'd alternate asking and answering questions. No moderator, no audience, just two policy wonks wonking off at each other. Whether they choose to really ask and answer questions, or just use their time to rattle off talking points would be up to each individual, but at least the information would be out there, and the personalities, politics, and positions of these people would be out there for everyone to observe. Repeat the above process for the other four official wonks, and you have yourself 10 hours of official head to head policy discussions a week.

We elect one person (well two people, but given that you can't split the Prez and VP votes, really you are only choosing the top of the ticket, the VP is just a bonus), but an entire team is who governs. I want to know who that team is before I vote, I want to hear the official surrogates battle each other directly on specific subject areas in an official capacity. I want the candidates to have to react to what their surrogates say and be forced to confirm or deny the direction they hope to take the country on a variety of issues.

A few tepid debates hosted by some media figure hardly scratches the surface of the real issues. Mostly they're just a chance for a candidate to not screw up and show how he reacts when off script. It's not enough anymore. A WONK-OFF would bring curious and engaged voters much more information than they now get, in a much more official way, and in a way that would be hard for media to spin (OK, harder). YouTube would fill up with clips from each Wonk-Off, and what our country might have in store depending on which choice voters make would just be a little bit clearer.

All five official wonks would have to WONK-OFF against each other once a week from the 3rd week of Sept to the last week of OCT. Spread out the WONK-OFFs by days of week, so State would be MON, Defense, would be TUE, and so on, with the Chiefs of Staff wonking off each other each Friday. That'd be six weeks of wonking off, six weeks of real policy discussions, or at least real screaming matches between equally matched surrogates from both sides. The Presidential Debates could be scheduled on Sundays so as not to overshadow the WONK-OFFs, but by having these on a regular schedule, and on a weekly basis, the campaign for ideas between each party would be forced into the forefront and would be battled in a face to face way without any media interference. I know the networks won't carry this, but CSPAN could, and the Internet can, and the soundbites would drive the cable news coverage after each debate. Instead of talking about pregnant daughters, the cable newsers and internet freaks would be forced to talk about actual policy discussions. I think that might be nice for a change.

Seems like this isn't such a radical suggestion, but I'm nearly certain nothing even close to approximating such a sane and informative approach would ever be attempted.

(and checking my old posts, I did sort of mention this idea before, but it's more fleshed out here)