A trip to the dinosaur museum and the children’s museum! Wait a second. If the dinosaur museum is where you see dinosaur skeletons all bleached and mounted…what’s a children’s museum?
Heh.
The rest of that post, here.
Showing posts with label Ken Jennings Is Teh Funny. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Ken Jennings Is Teh Funny. Show all posts
05 April 2010
Darkly Twisted Thoughts That Are Also Chuckle-Worthy From the Mind of Ken Jennings (First in a Highly Irregular Series)
Heh.
The rest of that post, here.
16 April 2009
A Humorous 'Call Back' to Something That Happened Earlier This Decade . . .
"Anyway, they’ve done a great job and I have no complaints. Can you imagine if I’d had FedEx do my taxes? Trouble."
---Ken Jennings.
---Ken Jennings.
14 March 2009
Just Call Me Brian . . .
"Oh, it’s okay. I’m pretending to be those two guys beside Him.
(it might not be blasphemy, it might just be that Dylan is a fan of Monty Python)
(it might not be blasphemy, it might just be that Dylan is a fan of Monty Python)
26 January 2009
"Uh…"
That probably would have been what I would have said in response to the preceding statement as well.
29 December 2008
Did Ken Jennings Just Make a "Glory Hole" Joke?
Ken, commenting on airport bathrooms.
(I suppose I should direct you to the surprisingly detailed and informative wiki on the subject of "glory holes")
(I suppose I should direct you to the surprisingly detailed and informative wiki on the subject of "glory holes")
23 March 2008
Teh Funny, He Is Ken Jennings . . .
I can no more reject the smooth vocal stylings of Phil Collins than I could disown my own white grandmother.
Don't know that I agree with Ken about the Phil Collins thing, but I can confirm at least one "Actual Black Person™" (namely, my father) who is a big fan of Jeopardy, and even used to schedule his lunchbreak from work to watch the Art Flemming version way back in the day (like back when I was an infant 'back in the day').
Just thought I'd share.
I suppose I should do an inventory of the various "Whitest Things About Me", as well as the "Blackest Things About Me", and probably should throw in the "Most Chicano Things About Me" while am at it. I could probably even get away with a "Straightest, and or Gayest, Things About Me" in addition to a "Japanese-ist Things About Me" and "Nerdiest Things About Me", once you parse these sort of things, the possibilities never end.
Is this what The Obama means by a 'national conversation on race'?
02 February 2008
I Guess I Don't Have to Email Him About the Error on Page 80, Then...
I noticed the Insider/Interpreter mix-up, too. Just received Ken Jenning's Trivia Almanac today. It's a thick tome, chock-full-a-trivial-goodness.
(I don't have my copy handy, be funny if I made a mistake as to what page the mistake was on...)
(I don't have my copy handy, be funny if I made a mistake as to what page the mistake was on...)
01 January 2008
24 December 2007
"Gospel of peace my ass!"
Quoting Ken Jennings above, it's from a post about alternative Xmas films (for those that have seen Christmas Story or It's a Wonderful Life just about enough times).
Now if somebody could come up with the 'Gospel of a piece of ass!', that's a church I'd happily attend.
Now if somebody could come up with the 'Gospel of a piece of ass!', that's a church I'd happily attend.
04 October 2007
"Keats and Shelley’s contemporaries might have called them “star-fornicators” instead of the cruder expression we use today,"
Blogpost composed a few miles above the Protestant Cemetery behind the Pyramid Cestius on revisiting the internet cafe during a tour, October 3, 2007.
Or something like that, Ken Jennings makes an observation about the cult of fame, of course that other Ken (Russell) kind of beat him to the punch a few decades earlier with his film, LISZTOMANIA (which for some unknown and probably really dumb reason still hasn't been released on DVD) but it's still an apt observation, and many folks do suggest that the cult of the international superstar began in the early romantic period, Shelley and Byron fit the bill. Keats was the first James Dean. He was the first posthomous superstar whose supporters puffed up after his death, and even suggested his death was a result of the criticism he received while alive. Live fast, die young wasn't invented in the 1960s (can't add the 'pretty corpse' part, drowning, battlefield wounds, and TB don't tend to leave pretty corpses)
(and was my Wordsworth reference oblique enough?, or too obvious?)
And speaking of copyright issues (what we weren't?), I agree with Prof. Glenn Reynolds (at least I think I agree, he doesn't actually state his advocacy), in a post lamenting the high cost of picking up the DVD for Last Days of Disco (probably Whit Stillman's least good film, but his least good film is better than 95% of films out there) that cases like that (and the unavailability of Lisztomania) are good arguments for compulsory licensing.
License holders shouldn't be able to hold content hostage, if there are those willing to produce a product, and those willing to buy a product, then the license holder shouldn't be able to withhold a particular piece of IP off the market indefinitely (so long as the folks who are producing are willing and able to cough up reasonable license fees and royalties). From video games designed for bygone game systems, to books with a small but loyal following, to films that have missed out on the DVD era because of gaggles of lawyers, intellectual property should be handled in a way that still respects the rights of the license holder, but those rights should come with a little responsibility, too.
IP copyright shouldn't be extendable ad infinitum, either, the public domain is essentially dead, the only time anything produced since the 1940s slips into the public domain, it's because some lawyer really screwed up, that's not the spirit of the original copyright laws, and this subversion helped birth a culture where IP theft seems like a morally defensible act for many consumers.
Or something like that, Ken Jennings makes an observation about the cult of fame, of course that other Ken (Russell) kind of beat him to the punch a few decades earlier with his film, LISZTOMANIA (which for some unknown and probably really dumb reason still hasn't been released on DVD) but it's still an apt observation, and many folks do suggest that the cult of the international superstar began in the early romantic period, Shelley and Byron fit the bill. Keats was the first James Dean. He was the first posthomous superstar whose supporters puffed up after his death, and even suggested his death was a result of the criticism he received while alive. Live fast, die young wasn't invented in the 1960s (can't add the 'pretty corpse' part, drowning, battlefield wounds, and TB don't tend to leave pretty corpses)
(and was my Wordsworth reference oblique enough?, or too obvious?)
And speaking of copyright issues (what we weren't?), I agree with Prof. Glenn Reynolds (at least I think I agree, he doesn't actually state his advocacy), in a post lamenting the high cost of picking up the DVD for Last Days of Disco (probably Whit Stillman's least good film, but his least good film is better than 95% of films out there) that cases like that (and the unavailability of Lisztomania) are good arguments for compulsory licensing.
License holders shouldn't be able to hold content hostage, if there are those willing to produce a product, and those willing to buy a product, then the license holder shouldn't be able to withhold a particular piece of IP off the market indefinitely (so long as the folks who are producing are willing and able to cough up reasonable license fees and royalties). From video games designed for bygone game systems, to books with a small but loyal following, to films that have missed out on the DVD era because of gaggles of lawyers, intellectual property should be handled in a way that still respects the rights of the license holder, but those rights should come with a little responsibility, too.
IP copyright shouldn't be extendable ad infinitum, either, the public domain is essentially dead, the only time anything produced since the 1940s slips into the public domain, it's because some lawyer really screwed up, that's not the spirit of the original copyright laws, and this subversion helped birth a culture where IP theft seems like a morally defensible act for many consumers.
13 September 2007
Logical Inferences (4 Year Old Edition)
“Mom, if I pee standing up but I poop sitting down, and you pee sitting down, does that mean that you poop standing up?”
Context, here.
Did I mention I'm Dylan Jennings' biggest fan?
(and not in any kind of creepy way)
Context, here.
Did I mention I'm Dylan Jennings' biggest fan?
(and not in any kind of creepy way)
02 July 2007
There Are NO RIGHT ANSWERS, Only Less Wrong Ones
A possible new feature, indecipherable multiple choice analogies questions.
Those bastards at Princeton Review don't put analogies on the SAT anymore, but that doesn't stop Conan from using them for a bit, and according to an emailer to Ken Jennings, that doesn't stop AAA from using them on job applications. Read his post, then you'll understand my inspiration for this feature
I'll give you one to start, and I'll provide the non-answers in inviso-text, cause I can't get enough of inviso-texting.
1) Kobe Bryant:Jeremy Bentham :: David Beckham:
a) Edmund Burke
b) John Locke
c) Adam Smith
d) Baruch Spinoza
The correct answer, of course is all the above (it's an off the menu choice). If one were to consider Kobe Bryant's recent actions with regards to his demands on his team as an example of Utilitarianism (I'm being very generous to Kobe to suggest so), than to unlock this analogy one would have to figure out which philosophical system is best exemplified by David Beckham's pending move to play football in the United States represents.
"a" is the right answer since Beckham in the States is a manifestation of classical liberalism. Beckham is free to choose his course, unbound by national commitments, and his choosing to come to the USA specifically seems pretty Burkean in my book.
"b" is the right answer since Beckham in the USA is Lockean in that he's pursuing self motivated interests despite the hits in public opinion he'll take in his homeland. He's intrigued by using his (diminishing) skills to broaden the appeal of the sport he loves, he sees soccer in the USA as a tabula rasa, and he hopes to be the brand that widens his sports acceptance in an important market
"c" is the right answer since Beckham in the USA is a perfect manifestation of Adam Smith's dead hand. Beckham is acting purely out of motivated self-interest and nothing else. The potential endorsement income he could expect if he succeeds in building soccer in the United States is massive. He's taking a huge risk, spending a great deal of his own capital of good will back home, but he sees the potential rewards worth the massive risks. That sounds pretty Smith-y to me.
"d" is the right answer cause Beckham's attempt to bring soccer to the masses in the USA represents a perfect encapsulation of Spinoza's concern with upsetting "received authority". If Beckham accepted the authoritative view of his sport in the United States, then he knows this project is doomed to failure, but using Spinoza's philosophical methods, Beckham has come to the realization that given the infinite nature of the natural world, to suggest that soccer is destined to fail in the United States is folly. If all possibilities are possible, then Beckham endeavors to be the agent of change and bring the possibility of soccer sweeping the United States to fruition.
That's the first one done, if you disagree with my answer, tough. Let's see you do better. Next up . . . . . ,
Transformers the Movie:Moby Dick :: (to be continued)
Those bastards at Princeton Review don't put analogies on the SAT anymore, but that doesn't stop Conan from using them for a bit, and according to an emailer to Ken Jennings, that doesn't stop AAA from using them on job applications. Read his post, then you'll understand my inspiration for this feature
I'll give you one to start, and I'll provide the non-answers in inviso-text, cause I can't get enough of inviso-texting.
1) Kobe Bryant:Jeremy Bentham :: David Beckham:
a) Edmund Burke
b) John Locke
c) Adam Smith
d) Baruch Spinoza
The correct answer, of course is all the above (it's an off the menu choice). If one were to consider Kobe Bryant's recent actions with regards to his demands on his team as an example of Utilitarianism (I'm being very generous to Kobe to suggest so), than to unlock this analogy one would have to figure out which philosophical system is best exemplified by David Beckham's pending move to play football in the United States represents.
"a" is the right answer since Beckham in the States is a manifestation of classical liberalism. Beckham is free to choose his course, unbound by national commitments, and his choosing to come to the USA specifically seems pretty Burkean in my book.
"b" is the right answer since Beckham in the USA is Lockean in that he's pursuing self motivated interests despite the hits in public opinion he'll take in his homeland. He's intrigued by using his (diminishing) skills to broaden the appeal of the sport he loves, he sees soccer in the USA as a tabula rasa, and he hopes to be the brand that widens his sports acceptance in an important market
"c" is the right answer since Beckham in the USA is a perfect manifestation of Adam Smith's dead hand. Beckham is acting purely out of motivated self-interest and nothing else. The potential endorsement income he could expect if he succeeds in building soccer in the United States is massive. He's taking a huge risk, spending a great deal of his own capital of good will back home, but he sees the potential rewards worth the massive risks. That sounds pretty Smith-y to me.
"d" is the right answer cause Beckham's attempt to bring soccer to the masses in the USA represents a perfect encapsulation of Spinoza's concern with upsetting "received authority". If Beckham accepted the authoritative view of his sport in the United States, then he knows this project is doomed to failure, but using Spinoza's philosophical methods, Beckham has come to the realization that given the infinite nature of the natural world, to suggest that soccer is destined to fail in the United States is folly. If all possibilities are possible, then Beckham endeavors to be the agent of change and bring the possibility of soccer sweeping the United States to fruition.
That's the first one done, if you disagree with my answer, tough. Let's see you do better. Next up . . . . . ,
Transformers the Movie:Moby Dick :: (to be continued)
27 June 2007
A Video So Mind Blowing That You Will Be Forced To Challenge All Your Other Pre-conceived Notions As Well . . .
Jenna Elfman can be funny. Who knew? Pretty much all the work she's done up till this point would seem to be conclusive proof to the opposite, and yet this video exists, and it's funny.
My worldview has just turned upsidedown.
Next thing you know I'll be pondering the positive possibilities of a potential Clinton 44 presidency.
On a sadder note, just as she was hitting her prime, it would seem this actress is leaving the business.
My worldview has just turned upsidedown.
Next thing you know I'll be pondering the positive possibilities of a potential Clinton 44 presidency.
On a sadder note, just as she was hitting her prime, it would seem this actress is leaving the business.
09 May 2007
Couldn't Have Said It Better Myself (Dylan Jennings Edition)
Ken Jennings remarking on his remarkable son
(I'm a bit shocked he forgot to put an *an* in front of eight instead of an *a*, I thought he was nerdy enough to avoid that mistake)
What happened to the carefree naivete of childhood? It looks like Dylan has inherited the hardy Depression-era gift-giving ethic of Mindy’s grandma, and his descendants can all count on a eight-pack of Irish Spring from him for Christmas for the next eighty years or so.
(I'm a bit shocked he forgot to put an *an* in front of eight instead of an *a*, I thought he was nerdy enough to avoid that mistake)
08 February 2007
You Wan't Your F*ing Pantyhose, I've Got Your F*ing Pantyhose, Right Here . . .
. . . f*ing Motesto, a new brand of pantyhose in Japan. Countering the decline in the sales of pantyhose in Japan.
I like the idea of a company marketing a brand called, f*ing Motesto, though.
That's f*ing great!
They should sell this brand in FCUK.
Speaking of not quite dirty words, more quotable Ken here regarding Airport codes.
I'm a fan of the Fukuoka, Japan to Samcheok, South Korea flight, myself (or the return flight, doesn't matter, they're both good).
I like the idea of a company marketing a brand called, f*ing Motesto, though.
That's f*ing great!
They should sell this brand in FCUK.
Speaking of not quite dirty words, more quotable Ken here regarding Airport codes.
I'm a fan of the Fukuoka, Japan to Samcheok, South Korea flight, myself (or the return flight, doesn't matter, they're both good).
06 February 2007
Quotable Ken, He's Not Just a Trivia Generating Enterprise
"Oh well. Even if the “trivia” connection is Hurley and not Borges, I’ve got my new .sig quote for a while."
Follow the link for the context, I just like giving the punchlines.
Jorge Luis Borges is one of the all time great writers in any language. One of my minor regrets was not hopping on a bus and catching a lecture by him back in 1985. So what if I was still in high school, we're talking Borges, here.
Other folks I never saw live that I regret missing opportunities that presented themselves to me, Kurt Cobain, Miles Davis and Michael Jackson (I know he's not dead, but as far as the performer he used to be, might as well be, it would have been an experience to see him live at any point up through the Dangerous album, after that, not so much).
22 January 2007
I Haven't Been Much In A Writing Mood, But If I Trawl The 'Net for Good Quotes From Favored Bloggers, It Will Seem Like I'm Blogging
A little nugget from Ken Jennings.
Somebody e-mailed me over the weekend to ask if any of the (apparently several) Ken Jennings pages on MySpace are actually me. Nope, I’m not on MySpace. They must all be fake. I prefer to attract my sexual predators and creepy online “friends” via this blog, thank you very much.
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