"You Out of Yo Mind"

Watching TNT's NBA coverage, it's halftime in the Cleveland versus San Antonio game, and the above quote is Charles Barkley referring to Kenny "The Jet" Smith.

The reason Smith has left his senses (according to Sir Charles)?

He claimed that the LA Lakers are the best team in the Western Conference right now. I'd love to agree with Kenny, but with the abscense of Bynum for eight weeks, I think I'm going to have to agree with Charles, instead.

The Lakers will still beat Phoenix tonight, though, they've designed the team around beating that team, and this year it seems to be working.

(they probably should have designed their team to beat San Antonio instead, even with a healthy Bynum, they'll have trouble if San Antonio is at full strength in the playoffs)

Weekly NFL Related Humiliation (Week EIGHT)

Another week of mediocre match-ups. 3 of the 13 games this week are between two teams with winning records, and none of those are amongst the four games being televised in Los Angeles. Way to go NFL! I'm going to break form a touch, since there are only four games on TV this week, and pick from the 3 games with both teams above .500, plus I'll add the Houston at San Diego game that's being televised here, along with the Monday night game, which almost qualifies (Denver's at 3-3, Green Bay is rocking it at 5-1). The two games being televised here that I'm ignoring are the NYG v Miami game being played in London, and the New Orleans at San Francisco game which looks like a suckfest between two teams that have no hopes of making the playoffs this year. And My Nemesis Bill Simmons™ has his picks as usual, check over there and compare, also his weekly podcast (link is to a direct download of the 10.1MB mp3) includes an interview with Charles Barkley, never miss a chance to here what's on Sir Charles' mind, he's always a good listen. Now, on to the picks . . .

Indianapolis (6-0) at Carolina (4-2) Carolina +7.0 BS Picks Indianapolis
Indianapolis remain undefeated, and played very well las week beating up on Jacksonville on Monday night. Meanwhile, Carolina had a bye week last week. So you have short week v. week off. Couple that with home field advantage, and I don't see Carolina losing this, or at the very least, losing by more than a TD. Carolina has a solid defense, and should be able to handle the explosive Colts attack, even if older than I am Vinny Testaverde is taking snaps under center.

Houston (3-4) at San Diego (3-3) San Diego -9.0 BS Picks San Diego (sort of)
San Diego seems to have righted themselves, and despite the very Norv Turner-ish behavior of Norv Turner, I don't see this team getting screwed up by the tumult from this week's fires. The game will be at Qualcomm, the ocean breezes are back so the air quality shouldn't be too horrendous, and Houston is dealing with QB issues. So I expect the Chargers to run away with this one. When he went to press, there was no line on this game since where this game was going to be played was still up in the air. So I'll just pretend BS went with the same pick I did.

Jacksonville (4-2) at Tampa Bay (4-3) Tampa Bay -3.5 BS Picks Tampa Bay
Jacksonville is coming off of getting beat up on Monday night, while Tampa Bay is getting over beating themselves with a late turnover against Detroit on Sunday. Home cooking, and QB questions with the Jaguars are the deciding factor for me. The Bucs should be able to handle a good Jaguars team and cover the spread.

Washington (4-2) at New England (7-0) New England -16.0 BS Picks Washington
I hate giving up 16.0 points. But the Pats are the Pats this season, and to go against them, even when taking the spread into account would be foolish. The Skins are a good team, but are overmatched here. And what's the deal here. Mr. Boston aka My Nemesis Bill Simmons™ is picking Washington?!? He expects them to still go 19-0, just not 19-0 against the spread, but the way they've been spanking teams, there's no reason to expect them not to win by at least 3 TDs, so if I'm wrong on any game this week, I hope it's this one.

Green Bay (5-1) at Denver (3-3) Green Bay +3.0 BS Picks Green Bay
So the oddsmakers thing these teams are about evenly matched. A field goal advantage is standard for the home team when the teams are equal. I don't see it. Green Bay has played well, while Denver has been beaten soundly by the better teams they've faced (though they did surprise Pittsburgh last week). Expect the Broncos to go down in flames as if they were the Rockies against the Red Sox.

The Five Men (or Women) You'd Gay Marry

What follows is mostly an unserious post regarding a serious topic.

Now that it looks like the New Jersey Supreme Court has forced the New Jersey Legislature to clarify its stance regarding gay marriage or its equivalent, I think the real question everyone should be asking themselves, "Who Would I Gay Marry?"

My fantasy five guys I would gay marry (but in a non-sexual, just cause they seem like great people to hang around with, sort of way) are as follows

Ricky Gervais: Dude is brilliant, bloody brilliant. Also, seems like a regular bloke, so would be someone you could hang out at the pub with and play snooker or darts with while downing a few pints. Plus, if you are going to gay marry, might as well both benefit from each others citizenship's, so a solidly. And speaking of Ricky Gervais, if I were to tell you that the 2nd season of Extras was the most brilliant thing you will ever likely see on television, just assume that I saw them all while in England, and not through bittorrent, either that or my future self came back and told my current self how hilarious each episode of season two was after watching them on their HBO run. Great, great stuff, just a few of the highlights, a very randy Daniel Radcliffe, a wickedly entertaining David Bowie, a still impressive Dame Diana Riggs, an impeccably performed appearance by Sir Ian McKellan and the true highlight, the performance of Ricky's writing partner Stephen Merchant as the agent. Him and Ricky play off each other like some great comedy duo of the past. It's funny beyond all imagining, better than the first season, far better than either season of the Office, and better than just about any other comedy you have ever seen. But again, this is all hypothetical, as this hasn't actually shown in the United States yet, so I haven't actually seen any of the episodes.

Charles Barkley: Who doesn't want to hang out with Sir Charles as much as humanly possible? Dude is funny, smart, honest, and seems like he honestly enjoys the life he's been given while appreciating how lucky he's been. Plus, I'd help him in his gubernatorial campaign in Alabama, while also convincing him to return back to the Republican party.

Beat Takeshi: Takeshi is an amazing filmmaker, a great comedian, and seemingly an all around cool guy. One attempt to describe his impact in Japan that I remember was that his career was as if you combined the careers of Johnny Carson as a chat show host, Jim Carrey at his prime as a comedian and Clint Eastwood as a director all into one person. He's been in some truly amazing and surreal films, and his films Sonatine and Hana-Bi are a couple of the best films of the 90s. Being around someone who is capable of so many different things at the same time would bound to be fascinating.

Christopher Hitchens: The world's greatest drinking buddy. Sure he's a socialist, but he's still a very smart person with an amazing breadth and depth of knowledge and an unmatched ability to communicate what he knows. Sure he can be nasty, but that would just make being around him on a constant basis a challenge and a pleasure. Besides being able to destroy foes with his wit, he seems like he'd be willing to ball up his fists and pound a few heads when push comes to shove as well. An important quality to have if you are going to do some serious drinking in publick houses with someone.

Oprah Winfrey: Wait? Wouldn't that be a Straight Marriage and not a Gay Marriage? Well, with Oprah, I'd much rather be her Gayle than her Steadman. So if I were to marry Oprah, I'd want it to be a Gay Marriage. I'd be the bestest gal pal she ever had (move over Ms. King). Gender is just a social construct anyway, at least that's what all my Gender Studies Profs insisted over and over again, so given the supposed fluidity of gender, I'd be Oprah's gal pal, unusually burdened with a penis instead of a vagina. She seems open minded enough not to judge me for my unusual problem. Also, if I were to Gay Marry Oprah, I'd insist that if she truly, truly, truly loved me, she'd refuse to have her team of lawyers draw up a pre-nup for me to sign, instead she'd know that our love for each other besides being purely platonic, would also be based on the mutual trust and admiration that could only be tainted by legal documents (beyond a marriage certificate, that is).

So have you contemplated your list of five Gay Marriages, yet? Hop to it, if you haven't, and post your list on the internets for everyone to see. Better than listening to all the political ads and political posts flying through the airwaves and cluttering the internet.



As far as marriage in general, there was a time that the state did have a vested interest in promoting marriage, but that time has passed, to avoid this battle, government entities at every level should end the practice of sanctioning any kind of marriage. If parties want to draw up a contract with each other, than sign a contract, but the marriage contract as it stands now is too nebulous, too unspecific, and too easily entered or broken to be as meaningful as it should be.

Marriage as a state sponsored endeavor is irrevocably broken, in my opinion, and an archaism that should be replaced by more specific, more direct, and better understood agreements that are less easily abused by crafty legal minds.