05 October 2009

If This Shot is Indicative of How He Plays, Then, He AIN'T Got Game... (A Special BLOGTOBER 2009 PhotoAnalysis)

So, while perusing the official White House Flickr stream, noticed the above shot of President Obama ballin' on Martha's Vineyard (cause, when you wanna ball, you don't go to Rucker Park, or Venice Beach, nope, presidential ballers head out to The Vineyard).

First thing I noticed is, hey, that's the same ball I play with!

Second thing I noticed was that Obama didn't take off his wedding ring. Not cool, not cool at all. Basketball is not a non-contact sport, especially hands, and that ring increases the potential for injury for both you and the other guys on the court. If you are going to ball, take off all earrings, rings, watches, and tuck any chains under your jersey, it's for your own safety and the safety of those you play with.

Third thing I noticed was those shoes (and the entire outfit, for that matter), look brand new out of the box. For someone who supposedly plays all the time, I find it strange that his kicks aren't a bit more worn looking.

Fourth thing I noticed was that Obama's a ball hog. Dude, it appears you are playing two on two, you've got two guys on you, you've got your teammate cutting towards the basket, and judging from your focus on the rim, that there's no chance in hell that you actually passed that ball like you should have.

Fifth thing I noticed was the position of his dominate hand on the ball. I assume you shoot lefty, and if that's the case, you aren't going to be very accurate with your left hand that far on top of the ball.

Sixth thing I noticed was blondy was playing him as if he's a righty. Dude, he's well known to be a lefty, do your scouting report. Rather than going for a block, you should have your body on him, or if all else fails, tap his left elbow, make him call a foul, but don't give up a jump shot in the key.

Seventh thing I noticed was his ass. There's no comfortable way to say this, but Pres. Obama's ass looks awfully tight in that picture, and not tight in a good way, more in an, uptight and gobbling his own underwear and shorts right up into his rectum, kind of way. For a half black man, Obama has a rather flat white butt.

Eighth thing I noticed was the leg tuck. What did he hope to accomplish with that? Other than making it look as if he jumped higher than he really did, looks like a real awkward way to leap.

Ninth thing I notice is that you never see him playing defense. Whenever they show him, he has the ball, or he's on offense. That's suspicious to me, I bet he looks dorky on defense, going to have to get some GOP leaning photogs in one of these game to take shots that aren't meant to flatter.

That's all, I still think I could guard him pretty easily, everything I've seen of him suggests he isn't that quick, he has some obvious and expoitable tendencies, and he plays way too upright.

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