05 December 2006

The Metric System

When making lists, even after checking them twice, it's often inadequate to just do a comparative list in order from first to last. That doesn't convey the relative merits of each member in the set.

That's why some sort of metric should be applied to any list.

The first step is to determine the standard, in comedy for instance, all comedians should be judged in milli-Pryors. That is what part of 1000 do they represent on the Pryor scale, with Richard Pryor being one, and all other comedians being a pale imitation that can only be measured in milli-Pryors.

Michael Richards, for instance earns barely even 1 milli-Pryor for his outburst, that wasn't so much comedy as a cry for help. Chris Rock, on the other hand, often approaches 750 to 800 milli-Pryors when he's "on", that's about as close to a full 1000 milli-Pryors as you'll see any modern working stand up get.

When measuring funkiness, the obvious metric would be George Clinton in full mid 70s PFunk swing. All other funk can only be measured in milli-Clintons. For instance, the latest Bootsy Collins Christmas album (which I have Bill at So Quoted to thank for alerting me to the existence of said album) is pretty good, not great, but very good. I give it an overall 550 milli-Clintons. Pretty funky for a Christmas album.

Now, as far as that Presidential Rankings post earlier this week, I'm amending it to include a metric to compare each President. Post WWII Presidents shall be measured in milli-Reagans. He's the gold standard and metric which all subsequent Presidents should be measured.

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