The ONE Unforgivable Sin

There is but one unforgivable sin with regards to cinema in my book, to be boring.

V for Vendetta commits this one sin.

To put it as plainly as possible, it's boring.

To put it not so plainly, it's a muddled film that suffers from a limp plot full of scenes of sophomoric politics and psychology.

Even the crowd of moonbats (speaking of moonbats, getting to the theatre was a bit harder (and only a bit, I'm guessing attendance was disappointing) than normal for 11am on a Saturday due to today's moronic convergence led by recent Academy Award Winner Paul Haggis, more precisely led by those dirty effin' maoist (worse even than hippies) International ANSWER) that populated the screening I attended (early on mentions of a defeated USA on the set garnered mild cheers) were left with nothing to really rally behind by the end.

In simple terms, not nearly enough stuff blows up, and its not stupid enough to be so bad its good (a la Armageddon) or well done enough to be so good its good (a la Road Warrior).

Rather its a massive overreach that fails miserably on all fronts (a la Zardoz, this lengthy synopsis is rather incredible, comparing V for Vendetta to Zardoz in terms of stupidity was inspired by a post in a thread that I can't remember now, but it was how I found out about that review, so whomever inspired me, I'd tip my cap if I could remember your name).

One other quibble about reviews on this film. Most of the reviews (peruse rottentomatoes.com for confirmation) mention the TV reports from the film about the status of the United States reported by the state run news programs. Not one review that I've read considers the possibility that if the U.S. is being presented as the defeated enemy of this totalitarian state, then in all likelihood the U.S. would actually remain the stalwart defender of freedom and not the desperate basket case described by the manipulated media.

If there is one parallel in this film that matches the real world its that one. The media is intent on telling us the U.S. is evil and defeated, yet the opposite is true.

Stephen Rea is excellent as usual though, otherwise everyone else phoned it in.

To single out a few reviews, this one by Ruthe Stein for the SF Chronicle has to be the most laughably earnest, example

"V for Vendetta'' would be worth seeing just as an anomaly, a big-budget Hollywood release that could be interpreted as sticking it to the American and British governments by showing the catastrophic fates these countries meet in the not-too-distant future, precipitated by disastrous policymaking. But "Vendetta'' is also richly satisfying entertainment the way movies are at their best, when they prod you to think.

though Roger Ebert gives her a run for her money, he ends his review with these nuggets

The film has been disowned by Alan Moore, who was also unhappy with the movie versions of his graphic novels From Hell and The League of Extraordinary Gentlemen, but then any sane person would have been unhappy with the Gentlemen. I have not read the original work, do not know what has been changed or gone missing, but found an audacious confusion of ideas in "V for Vendetta" and enjoyed their manic disorganization. To attempt a parable about terrorism and totalitarianism that would be relevant and readable might be impossible, could be dangerous and would probably not be box office.

Carina Chocano of the LATimes and Manohla Dargis of the NYTimes come closest to my own feelings regarding this turgid turd of a film. Both of them are reliably lefty in their opinions, but they also prefer good films, so even if they cheered internally at the attempt by the filmmakers to draw parallels between this dystopian fantasy and current conditions they still saw this film for the boring piece of work it is.

Carina had this to say

As for what's permitted and what's not, it's pretty hard to say. Apparently, in the future, paintings by Vermeer, busts of Nefertiti and Velvet Underground songs covered by Cat Power will be banned, but the middle classes will live in spacious, comfortably appointed apartments. Butter will be scarce, but red spray paint will be readily available to any 9-year-old girl.

While Manohla leads with this

Thumb suckers of the world unite, the most hotly anticipated film of the, er, week, "V for Vendetta," has arrived, complete with manufactured buzz and some apparently genuine British outrage. Concocted by the same team behind the "Matrix" franchise, this future-shock story about a masked avenger at war with a totalitarian British regime was drawn along the usual Orwellian lines but is clearly meant to have more than a passing resemblance to our current political environment.

Two points I'd like to interject, I like how the NYTimes has added links embedded in their online stories (oops, I mean articles, I realize there's a difference, do they?) now, good for you dinosaurs, what took you so long? And TimesSelect still sucks, that's all, now back to Manohla

Mr. Moore's pretensions to seriousness may be seriously pretentious, but he seeks to elevate the level of conversation that has been inevitably lowered by the screen adaptations of his work. "V for Vendetta" is the worst offender in this regard, largely because the Wachowskis come equipped with their own fancy reading list and set of narrative and ideological imperatives.

I ain't gonna hate on her for the line "pretensions to seriousness may be seriously pretentious" cause I'm guilty of that kind of wordplay myself, but seems kind of wasted on a review of this film.

To sum up my own review, I love it when they blow stuff up in films, but for once this reviewer was left cold, even when stuff is blowed up (and for me that's a very, very sad thing. Damn you Mr. McTeigue, for taking away my pleasure in watching destruction, at least for one film, I'm sure something will come along that will renew my faith in the 'blow stuff up' school of filmmaking).

And one last note, exhibitors, get your asses in gear and switch to digital projection on all screens NOW!!

Digital projectors are great, there's really no other way to see a film. Presenting a pristine image, jitter and scratch free, with vibrant colors is the way you'll keep people coming to your theatres, offer substandard image quality and you'll continue to watch the crowds stay away in droves.