Furniture and their Sins

After reading this post at Maternal Optimist the following comments followed:

At 4:26 PM, XWL said...

the small drawer to the left of the vanity

Why aren't more furniture items named after sins?

At 5:16 PM, Ruth Anne Adams said...

XWL: Let's rename the fridge. "I cleaned out the crisper in the gluttony."

A Lazy-Boy really is a testament to sloth, though, don't you think?

Well, that sounds like a challenge to me, so let's go ahead and give each of the 7 deadly sins their own piece of furniture.

First up, Pride, aka Vanity, a Vanity is a prideful place for many a woman (and rightly so), so it's an obvious choice, for the stereotypically masculine counterpart, the kept in the garage complete tool set of gleaming, rarely used tools would suffice.

Second, Envy, a bit hard really. If you own it yourself, you don't really envy it, so rather, Envy would be whatever object you most covet amongst your friends whose homes you regular enter (for me, probably, my friend's Star Trek Next Generation Pinball Machine in immaculate condition)

Third, Gluttony, Ruth Anne's suggestion can't be topped, henceforth all fridges shall be known as 'The Gluttony' (might help with the supposed obesity epidemic in First World nations (and this epidemic extends to Europe and Japan, too, plus even Mexico and China are beginning to see problems, prosperity is a great thing, except when it's not)

Fourth, Lust, your bed, if you are lucky, your computer screen or your battery operated 'personal massager' if you are not.

Fifth, Anger, for many I think your computer keyboard would be the object in your home that exemplifies anger (you know you've sat down and fired off an angry webpost or email or two in your day, it's OK to admit it)

Sixth, Greed, hmmmmm, I don't really see greed as a sin, I'm much more Gordon Gecko inclined than most, but if I had to assign an object as exemplifying the negative consequences of acquisitiveness I'd select something that most everyone has, but few actually need. Again each person's greed object will be different, for me it's probably the 1000+ CDs cluttering my home, each seemed necessary at the time, but in retrospect I could probably make do with half that number.

Finally, Sloth, again Ruth Anne found the nail, brought forth her rhetorical hammer, and slammed that nail so firmly that it's buried deeply into the board with one single mighty blow, so the venerable LAZY-BOY recliner shall do.

UPDATE: More from Bill at So Quoted, (plus I changed lust slightly). I loved the Baroque Cycle myself, so I concur, once everyone's safe, that's not a bad thing to grab on the way out from a biblical level disaster. And here's a snippet of lyrics to suggest my personal view regarding sins:

Jesus died for somebody’s sins but not mine
Meltin’ in a pot of thieves
Wild card up my sleeve
Thick heart of stone
My sins my own
They belong to me, me

People say ’beware!’
But I don’t care
The words are just
Rules and regulations to me, me