17 March 2006

Friday Funk Lyrics, 17 March 2006

I'm giving you two sets of lyrics today. One inspired by recent events on South Park, the other inspired by St. Patrick (and not exactly funky).

The news about Isaac Hayes is sad (and he is being hypocritical), but Chef was somewhat played out anyway.

Nevertheless, when he was good, he was really good, and he was never better than when he was admonishing us all to stick his chocolate salty balls in our mouths and suck on them.

Two Tablespoons of cinnamon, and 2 or 3 eggwhites
Half a stick of butter, meeeelted..
Stick it all in a bowl baby, Stir it with a wooden spoon
Mix in a Cup of Flour, you'll be in heaven soon
Say everybody have you seen my balls?
They're big and salty and brown
If you ever need a quick Pick-me-up
Just stick my balls in your mouth!
Ooh, suck on my chocolate salty balls,
Stick em in your mouth and suck em!
Suck on my Chocolate Salty balls
they're packed full of vitamins, and good for you,
So suck on My balls!

Quarter cup of unsweeted chocolate, and half cup of brandy
Then throw in a bag or two of sugar, and just a pinch of vanilla
Grease up the cookiesheet, cos i hate when my balls stick
Then Preheat the oven to 350°, and give that spoon a lick
Say everybody have you seen my balls?
They're big and salty and brown
If you ever need a quick Pick me up
Just stick my balls in your mouth...
Suck on my chocolate salty balls
Stick em in your mouth and suck em!
Suck on my Chocolate Salty balls
they're packed full of goodness, high in Fibre
Suck on My balls!

[sniff sniff] Hey, wait a minute, what's that smell?
Smells like something burning
Well, that don't confront me none
As long as I get my rent paid on the Friday.
Baby you'd better get back in the Kitchen..
Cos i've gotta Sneaking Suspicion..
Oh man baby, baby! You just burnt my balls!

Someone help me, my balls are on fire!
Get some ice baby! My balls are Burning!
Get some water, pour some water on me!
My Balls are burning!
Help me, Blow on em, Blow on em, do something!
Ooh, suck on my chocolate salty balls
Stick em in your mouth and suck em!
Suck on my Chocolate Salty balls
Put em out baby, Blow em!
Suck on my balls, baby! Suck on my balls Baby!
Suck on my red hot, salty, chocolate balls
Put em out baby, hoo, hoo
Suck on my balls...

One other thing about that song, the recipe embedded in the lyrics sounds pretty good, has anyone ever tried this particular recipe?

Now on to St. Patrick's Day, I could go with the obvious choice as to which band to honor, or I could go with the really obvious choice which song's lyrics to post, but I'm not going to play things that way.

Not Me.

Instead, revel in the glory that is The Pogues (link goes to a rambling, but entertaining essay by Bob Geldof). They were the best Irish band of the 80s, not the more famous one that hangs around and continues to collect accollades. From their fantastic album Rum Sodomy and the Lash here's Sally MacLennane

Well Jimmy played harmonica in the pub where I was born
He played it from the night time to the peaceful early morn
He soothed the souls of psychos and the men who had the horn
And they all looked very happy in the morning

But Jimmy didn't like his place in this world of ours
Where the elephant man broke strong men's necks
When he'd had too many Powers
So sad to see the grieving of the people that he's leaving
And he took the road for God knows in the morning

We walked him to the station in the rain
We kissed him as we put him on the train
And we sang him a song of times long gone
Though we knew that we'd be seeing him again
(Far away) I'm sad to say I must be on my way
So buy me beer and whiskey 'cause I'm going far away (far away)
I'd like to think of me returning when I can
To the greatest little boozer and to Sally MacLennane

The years passed by the times had changed I grew to be a man
I learned to love the virtues of sweet Sally MacLennane
I took the jeers and drank the beers and crawled back home at dawn
And ended up a barman in the morning

I played the pump and took the hump and watered whiskey down
I talked of whores and horses to the men who drank the brown
I heard them say that Jimmy's making money far away
And some people left for heaven without warning

We walked him to the station in the rain
We kissed him as we put him on the train
And we sang him a song of times long gone
Though we knew that we'd be seeing him again
(Far away) I'm sad to say I must be on my way
So buy me beer and whiskey 'cause I'm going far away (far away)
I'd like to think of me returning when I can
To the greatest little boozer and to Sally MacLennane

When Jimmy came back home he was surprised that they were gone
He asked me all the details of the train that they went on
Some people they are scared to croak but Jimmy drank until he choked
And he took the road for heaven in the morning

We walked him to the station in the rain
We kissed him as we put him on the train
And we sang him a song of times long gone
Though we knew that we'd be seeing him again
(Far away) I'm sad to say I must be on my way
So buy me beer and whiskey 'cause I'm going far away (far away)
I'd like to think of me returning when I can
To the greatest little boozer and to Sally MacLennane


copyright 1985 Shane MacGowan

Don't forget their's poetry in that Whisky and Guinness as you imbibe this evening.

And speaking of Poetry, one more Irish Poet (maybe even better than Shane MacGowan for your perusal)



SWEET DANCER

THE girl goes dancing there
On the lea-sown, new-mown, smooth
Grass plot of the garden;
Escaped from bitter youth,
Escaped out of her crowd
Or out of her black cloud
Ah, dancer, ah, sweet dancer!

If strange men come from the house
To lead her away, do not say
That she is happy being crazy;
Lead them gentle astray;
Let her finish her dance,
Let her finish her dance.
Ah, dancer, ah, sweet dancer!

1 comment:

bill said...

Good choice and you ain't wrong about the best Irish band of the 80s. My daughter was born to the Pogues - If I Should Fall From Grace - and one of her favorite CDs is Tropical Brainstorm by Kirsty MacColl.

From Rum, Sodomy & the Lash, we started teaching her Dirty Old Town when she was 3.