"SO THE PANDA IN THE MINISKIRT TOLD YOU TO GO ON BUT CAN THEY SING?"

The girls over at Go Fug Yourself point to two indescribably fantastic interviews with Bai Ling.

Highlights from this SF Chronicle interview:

Q: Tell me about your book, "Nipples."

A: (Giggling) It's a point of view of how I see the world. Like, I'm wearing purple and pink, you're wearing blue; maybe I'm wearing red, you're wearing yellow. Our eyes are limited. There are a lot of beautiful, magical things in the universe we don't see, but I see. Sometimes on my balcony I sit for the whole afternoon, watching the sun cast through the trees. Sometimes I see a butterfly there, a chair, a boat. But those are a high form of spirit giving art. They are there for its own existence. But only you have the sensitive heart and soul to recognize and enjoy that moment, but 10 minutes past when the sun moves a little bit, they're gone. The book is about my perspective - very erotic, very intimate. I share a lot of relationships that I had with different gentlemen - very intimate, very advanced, very crazy and very bold in a modern way. I wrote it in 40 days without even thinking; the book is there and I'm just here to reveal it.

If that wasn't enough, this Movieline interview is even more full of Bai Ling-ness:

Actually that reminds me of something we haven’t talked about. What was the name of that singing show on VH1?
But Can They Sing?

That’s the one.
The show is not about singing. No matter how good a singer you are on that show, it doesn’t make a difference. They’ll change the tone to make you a bad singer. If you’re a bad singer, it’s more interesting. I learned that later. I treated it so seriously. They kept wanting to bring me back because I was so ridiculous, I wasn’t going to do it. But my little spirit, she said…

What do you call your spirit?
Eight Little Spirits in Miniskirts.

You have eight separate spirits. And they’re all in miniskirts?
Yes! They’re sitting on your hair, on your shoulder, on your nails. I’m like their peacemaker, because they don’t like each other. I have a panda, a chicken, a dolphin … I have a monkey … All in miniskirts.

So the panda in the miniskirt told you to go on But Can They Sing?
They go crazy. They make me lose control. They try to catch Bai Ling. I wasn’t really aware they were going to be judging me on that show. I wasn’t conscious of it. I has just come from the Playboy shoot, and was feeling very comfortable with my body.

When I watched it later with my friend, I found it hilarious. But when I was there, I was in a different space. They gave me a song that was too high, and I tried to quit. They were making fun of me. So I threatened to quit. Finally, they gave me a song that fit me — Blondie’s “Call Me” — and when I got on stage, they played it three keys higher and it was like, [squealing] “CALL MEEE!”

Somehow I missed that show, but here's a clip of Bai Ling 'touching herself' . . .