13 June 2008

"It's a Dutch Oven, and the French are TOAST!"

Best call of a soccer goal, ever.

(just heard on ESPN2 after Netherlands scored in extra time to clinch a 4-1 victory over France)

The call was by a Brit, and at first I thought it might be possible that 'dutch oven' doesn't have the extra special connotation over there it has here, but given that the BBC hosted h2g2 ('aka' hitchhiker's guide to the galaxy) specifically mentions 'dutch oven' in their guide to Farts and Flatulence, I'm guessing the humor was intentional.

You really ought to read the linked guide, here are some excellent pull quotes:


...The cellulose in vegetables cannot be digested, therefore vegetarians produce more gas than people with a mixed diet. There is no difference in the chemistry of male and female digestion, hence men and women emit the same amounts of gas. However, men apparently have more fun doing it.


...The presence of methane and oxygen renders the whole mixture flammable. If tried at all, igniting a fart should be tried out extremely carefully. Setting fire to a fart can 'backfire'! Besides, you should have a good explanation ready because the whole affair is somewhat difficult to explain to rescue and surgery personnel if it goes wrong.


...Farts can bring more excitement into wedlock if administered in a Dutch Oven this is where one partner lets go a huge fart, pulls the duvet cover or bed sheets over the head of their loved one, trapping them in a confusion of methane, while shouting triumphantly, 'Dutch oven! Dutch oven!' The person trapped will wriggle like an eel, the trapper will then nearly die laughing and it will all end up in a really boisterous play fight. Of course, this is all in questionable taste.




2 comments:

Kozachok said...

true that. i was sooo cracking up!

javieth said...

when i bought my house throught costa rica homes for sale i wanted a great kitchen with a big space to put a big oven. Now i can baking every kind of cakes in there.