15 January 2006

Hope you have a strong stomach

A big preview of the 2006 releases is featured in the Calendar Live section of today's L.A. Times (warning links here prove to be fleeting).

The highlights? (by category)


American Dreamz The president of the United States becomes a celebrity judge on an idol-making TV talent show in writer-director Paul Weitz's satire of U.S. culture and politics.

Big Momma's House 2 Martin Lawrence goes undercover as the plus-size housekeeper for the dysfunctional family of a suspect in a national-security case

Dr. Dolittle 3 The good doctor's youngest daughter (Kyla Pratt) has inherited his gift for animal gab and puts it to use at summer camp.

Garfield's A Tail of Two Kitties The big orange fur ball visits England with Jon (Breckin Meyer) in this twist on "The Prince and the Pauper."

The Pink Panther Steve Martin stars as the buffoonish French detective Inspector Clousseau in pursuit of a famed missing diamond belonging to a murdered soccer coach.

Scary Movie 4 Director David Zucker has a new batch of horror films to parody ("The Grudge," "Saw") and branches out to award-winners "Million Dollar Baby" and "Sideways." Anna Faris stars; above, Shaquille O'Neal, left, and Dr. Phil McGraw

Shaggy Dog Tim Allen stars in this remake about a distracted deputy D.A. transformed into a furry canine.

Van Wilder II: Rise of the Taj Kal Penn's character Taj Mahal steps into the leading role and heads to Oxford to teach the starched shirts there how to party. Directed by Mort Nathan ("Boat Trip").

(rather than comedies, these might be better called tragedies, or travesties)

HORROR (sans descriptions, the titles tell all)

The Grudge 2, The Hills Have Eyes (remake), The Omen 666, Texas Chainsaw Massacre: The Beginning

THRILLER (again, the title is enough)

Basic Instinct 2, The Da Vinci Code, Young Hannibal: Behind the Mask


One action picture rises above them all!
Circle your calendar, August 18th comes!

Snakes on a Plane Samuel L. Jackson stars as an FBI agent shepherding a witness from L.A. to Hawaii aboard a commercial flight when an assassin releases some deadly, slithering amphibians. Directed by David R. Ellis ("Cellular")

update: quote about Snakes on a Plane taken directly from LA Times article, evidently they are somewhat zoology instruction challenged ("releases some deadly, slithering amphibians")

Hey Times-Folk, ALL snakes are reptiles (a term not interchangeable with amphibians).


Icepick said...

DUUUUUUUUUUDE! That Samuel L. Jackson movie looks like the shit! I wonder if it will have a scene as good as the Scene of the Year from Deep Blue Sea?

And it looks like Sam is on track for a big 2006. Also set for release are Black Snake Moan and Afro Samurai.

In Afro Samurai, which will apparently be a Japanese Anime mini-series, Sam plays Afro Samurai! Looking at the description, it sounds like Samurai Jack, but with a brother in the title role.

And Black Snake Moan sounds EXACTLY like porn! Here's the description from IMDb: "The plot involves a white nymphomaniac who must be "cured" of her disorder by an older black blues man." The nympho will be played by Christina Ricci, who is no longer jail-bait.

Another banner year for Sam Jackson!

Pooh said...

FWIW "Black Snake Moan" is the title of an early Blues. Which was, yes, about sex. As most good music is.

There seems like one movie on that list I'll see, that being Da Vinci Code. I almost can't wait for the pre-controversy on that one.