College Mission Statement of the Day --- University of Colorado at Boulder

The Buffaloes have been in the news, so let's take a peek at their "role and mission statement":

The Boulder campus of the university of Colorado shall be a comprehensive graduate research university with selective admissions standards. The Boulder campus of the university of Colorado shall offer a comprehensive array of undergraduate, masters, and doctoral degree programs…”

As an added bonus they have a "vision statement":

“To lead in learning, research, teaching, and service to benefit and enhance the quality of life for the people of Colorado.”

Disappointingly straightforward and devoid of buzzwords. These statements leave me cold. They need to try harder, I expect more from a hippie ski town like Boulder (and no mention of the most famous fictional Boulderite?)

College Mission Statement of the Day --- University of California, Merced

Bet most y'all haven't even heard of UC Merced. It's the newest UC campus, it's the 10th in the system, and it bills itself as a school for the 21st century. No musty traditions here, if you come you get to create the traditions. Their mission statement is a long one, and would seem to be the result of a committee process, here it is in full:

The University of California, Merced’s mission is embodied in its proud claim of being the first American research university of the twenty-first century. As the tenth campus of the University of California, UC Merced will achieve excellence in carrying out the University’s mission of teaching, research and service, benefiting society through discovering and transmitting new knowledge and functioning as an active repository of organized knowledge. As a key tenet in carrying out this mission, UC Merced promotes and celebrates the diversity of all members of its community.

A research university is a community bound by learning, discovery and engagement. As the first American student-centered research university of the twenty-first century, UC Merced’s strong graduate and research programs will mesh with high quality undergraduate programs. New knowledge increasingly depends on links among the disciplines, working together on questions that transcend the traditional disciplines. UC Merced fosters and encourages cross-disciplinary inquiry and discovery.

Interdisciplinary practice in research will nourish undergraduate learning, building a foundation in connecting the ways that academic disciplines understand and grapple with society’s problems. Undergraduates will experience education inside and outside the classroom, applying what they learn through undergraduate research, service learning and leadership development. As apprentice scholars, graduate students will build their understanding of and ability to do independent research in their chosen field, as the groundwork for entering professional life. Lifelong learners will continue to hone their knowledge and workplace skills.

The twenty-first century has opened with the promise of new ways of connecting people to new knowledge and to one another. UC Merced opens as a network, not simply a single place, linking its students, faculty and staff to the educational resources of the state, nation and world. The idea of network extends to UC Merced’s relationships with neighboring institutions: educational, cultural and social. Born as a member of the distinguished network known as the University of California, UC Merced seeks strong and mutually supportive relationships with a variety of collaborators in its region: public and private colleges and universities; federal and state organizations that share UC Merced’s educational and research goals; and cultural and social institutions.

The idea of network will also be realized through the physical and intellectual integration between UC Merced and its surrounding community. The campus is planned as a model of physical sustainability for the twenty-first century, inviting all members of the campus and surrounding community to think and act as good stewards of the environment that they will convey to future generations.

UC Merced celebrates its location in the San Joaquin Valley, reflecting the poetry of its landscape, history, resources and diverse cultures, while capitalizing on and expanding the Valley’s connections to the emerging global society. UC Merced recognizes that research that begins with the natural laboratory at home can extend what is known in the state, nation and world.

Did you soak all that in? I guess campuses in the 21st century aren't expected to produce editors. Everything about the place suggests a lot of 'process' goes into each decision. They used the mascot choosing process as an outreach program with local elementary schools and those kids came up with "Golden Bobcat" as their mascot. They don't have any teams yet, but their long term goal is to field teams in NCAA Div-II eventually. Judging from their selection of merchandise at their bookstore, I don't think their licensed merchandise is going to be a cash cow anytime soon (the bobcat is kind of cute, but not really golden, and way overpriced).

They're in the San Joaquin Valley about half way from Modesto and Fresno. The campus is on Lake Yosemite, and about 60 miles from Yosemite National Park. Browsing through the flickr photos tagged with ucmerced gives you some idea of what the campus is like. It's all spanking new. The google map also gives you an idea of how it's just kind of sprouted in the middle of not much else (also looks like the image was taken during construction before landscaping, check out the hybrid view).

I'm sure there are worse places to attend or teach than "the first American student-centered research university of the twenty-first century" (now if they could just find somebody to edit down their mission statement and press releases . . . )

College Mission Statement of the Day --- University of Santa Monica

We have one university in Santa Monica, namely University of Santa Monica. It's not accredited by the usual bodies, but they are state approved to hand out degrees. They do focus on "soul-centered education". Rather than a mission statement, we've got "A Message from the Directors", here's a portion:

Throughout recorded history, those aware of themselves as travelers upon a spiritual journey have always pondered an essential question: “How can I live a loving, committed, and productive life in this world while being true to my spiritual quest?”

BRIDGING THE SPIRITUAL AND THE PHYSICAL

Since the University of Santa Monica is dedicated to the practical application of universal teachings, we continually use this question as a reference point for the relevancy of our educational process. And no matter how many times we ask this question, we always arrive at the same answer: “I can be true to both aspects of my journey by learning to love my Self unconditionally, by sharing my love in my relationships with others, and by demonstrating excellence and integrity in all my endeavors.”

Thus, the arena of Spiritual Psychology emerges as a common denominator bridging between the spiritual and that aspect of the spiritual we often refer to as the physical world. We are constantly rediscovering that by enhancing and refining our relationship with our Self and others, students, faculty, staff, and volunteers alike experience relevancy, meaning, fellowship, and intimacy. It is this educational process of refining our relationships that results in achieving program competencies.

Got all that? Are you aware of yourself as a traveler? Do we still have some folks in Santa Monica injesting psychotropic drugs recreationally?

If you are wondering what 'soul-centered education' means, here's a sample:

Soul-Centered education recognizes spiritual reality and begins with the assumption that we are not human beings who have a soul; rather, we are souls having a human experience. This evokes a radical paradigm shift that results in a psychological and educational process whose goal is to awaken us to a fuller realization and experience of who we truly are.

Are you a soul having a human experience?

I've passed by this place when folks were milling about outside, and I'll just say that it's mostly exactly the people you'd expect having the kinds of conversations you'd imagine.

If that's a horror or a dream, that's up to you.

College Mission Statement of the Day --- Loyola Marymount University Los Angeles

Did the tribes yesterday on their holy day, figured I'd do Christians on a Sunday. First up for the followers of Christ I've got a school not far from here, Loyola Marymount University Los Angeles. They're a fine institution, and have a beautiful campus. They go with the short and sweet approach with their mission statement:

At Loyola Marymount University we balance a challenging liberal arts and sciences curriculum with outstanding professional programs at the graduate and undergraduate levels. Students grow to be fulfilled in their own lives and careers while also involved in the communities around them. As a Catholic university, LMU is deeply committed to social justice and ethical values and welcomes to its stunning campus in the heart of Southern California students from all spiritual, ethnic, and cultural backgrounds.

The school itself doesn't run away from its Catholic roots, but it's not a core emphasis, either (I blame the Jesuits, they're practically Buddhists). Their radio station was the best outlet for 'college radio' back when I was in high school in the mid 80s. KXLU was one of the stations that helped define 'college radio' as a genre both locally and nationally (despite having a transmitter that was hard to pick up beyond their own parking lot). Guess I'm being kind of nice to them, can't help it, every time I've visited that campus it's been on beautiful days and the it was full of cheery, happy people, it's just a really nice place. Those Jesuits do know how to create a sense of community and exhibit a real commitment to both intellectual and spiritual growth (those bastards!).

College Mission Statement of the Day --- Brandeis University

It's the Sabbath, so figured I'd go with Brandeis University.

Brandeis University is a community of scholars and students united by their commitment to the pursuit of knowledge and its transmission from generation to generation. As a research university, Brandeis is dedicated to the advancement of the humanities, arts, and social, natural and physical sciences. As a liberal arts college, Brandeis affirms the importance of a broad and critical education in enriching the lives of students and preparing them for full participation in a changing society, capable of promoting their own welfare, yet remaining deeply concerned about the welfare of others.

In a world of challenging social and technological transformations, Brandeis remains a center of open inquiry and teaching, cherishing its independence from any doctrine or government. It strives to reflect the heterogeneity of the United States and of the world community whose ideas and concerns it shares. In the belief that the most important learning derives from the personal encounter and joint work of teacher and students, Brandeis encourages undergraduates and postgraduates to participate with distinguished faculty in research, scholarship and artistic activities.

Brandeis was founded in 1948 as a nonsectarian university under the sponsorship of the American Jewish community to embody its highest ethical and cultural values and to express its gratitude to the United States through the traditional Jewish commitment to education. By being a nonsectarian university that welcomes students, teachers, and staff of every nationality, religion, and political orientation, Brandeis renews the American heritage of cultural diversity, equal access to opportunity, and freedom of expression.

The University that carries the name of the justice who stood for the rights of individuals must be distinguished by academic excellence, by truth pursued wherever it may lead, and by awareness of the power and responsibilities that come with knowledge.

Not a lot to make fun of really, it's overly wordy, full of the usual 'mission statement' boilerplate. I find their commitment to the rhetoric of multi-culturalism interesting. The part about welcoming students and teachers of all nationalities, religions and political orientation is no doubt sincere (OK, maybe I doubt the sincerity about the political orientation bit), but I would hazard a guess that the enrollment of Saudi, Pakistani, or even Indonesian nationals is somewhat low (as in nil).

I could be wrong, I hope I'm wrong, I'm sure they'd be welcome at that campus, too.

That's what's different about those that embrace classical liberalism versus those that cling to primitivism and collectivism in all its most virulent forms (and at the moment militant Islamic supremacist fundamentalist are as viral as a movement gets in every sense of the term).

Checking what programs they have, they do list one lecturer under Islamic and Middle Eastern Studies who is Muslim. He's an Egyptian, Abdel Monem Said Aly. Can't find much on him using google, but this article by him about the aftermath of the Israeli-Hizbollah conflict in Lebanon seems mostly reasonable. For some reason he doesn't mention his connection with Brandeis at his CV page at Al-Ahram Center of Political & Strategic Studies in Cairo where he is Director. Probably a wise omission (also a bit of a sad one).

College Mission Statement of the Day --- Parsons

Art schools, gotta love them (and especially the women who attend them, they were a weakness for me back in my 20s).

Art school mission statements are also lovely. Parsons is one of the best Art Schools in the country, there mission statement is actually something of a disappointment.

Parsons focuses on creating engaged citizens and outstanding artists, designers, scholars and business leaders through a design-based professional and liberal education.

Parsons students learn to rise to the challenges of living, working and creative decision making in a world where human experience is increasingly designed. The school embraces curricular innovation, pioneering uses of technology, collaborative methods and global perspectives on the future of design.

It's straight forward, succinct, and short. What's up with that? I expected a lot more florid prose wrapped around some crazy ideas about what it means to be an artist in the 21st century. This mission statement leaves me wanting.

Guess I'll have to look at individual departments to find the good stuff.

Here's Lighting Design

The MFA program was the first in the field of architectural lighting, and is the only program focused primarily on design and social practice. An interdisciplinary education is offered in the intellectual, aesthetic, and technical aspects of lighting. At the core of the curriculum is the Lighting Design Studio, where students envision form and space "in light." A technology series complements the studio sequence, as well as courses in the cultural, historical, and perceptual components of lighting. A new dual-degree graduate program combines the MFA in Lighting Design and the M.Arch. The Department's journal, Scapes, focuses on global, metropolitan, and departmental perspectives on architecture. In 2007, AIDL sponsored AFTER TASTE a symposium exploring a symposium exploring new agendas for the study of the interior.

I love the typo with the repetition of symposium, unless it really was a symposium exploring a symposium, which is possible, in which case, even better if it wasn't a typo. And an MFA in Lighting Design? Really? It's important, but I can't see studying that as a main focus, seems like something you can knock off in a couple of quarters as part of your more general education in Architecture.

Here's what they say about Photography

Parsons' BFA in Photography and MFA in Photography educate students about the evolving creative position of the photographer today. Both programs provide a rigorous technical training marked by conceptual and critical thinking about photography's place in the global art and design world. Graduates enter the photographic industry fully prepared to be leaders in a rapidly changing work environment.

What they meant to say, 'you will rule at making photoshopped Bu$hHitler composites for TNR or Salon once we are done with you'.

I could dig around more, but I'll leave the fun of discovery up to you, I can't do all the work, I can only point the way.

College Mission Statement of the Day --- Pitzer College

You know what are fun? College mission statements. They're usually utter drivel. Not only are they drivel, they're self-important drivel that string together a bunch of touchy-feely buzzwords to absolutely no effect. In other words, the perfect target for ridicule.

I can't resist the ridiculous. I'm shallow that way. To kick this feature off, I'm not going after the worst, Pitzer College's mission statement is definitely middle of the pack as far as ridiculousness goes, but it's representative, and therefore a good starting point.

Pitzer College produces engaged, socially responsible citizens of the world through an academically rigorous, interdisciplinary liberal arts education emphasizing social justice, intercultural understanding and environmental sensitivity. The meaningful participation of students, faculty and staff in college governance and academic program design is a Pitzer core value. Our community thrives within the mutually supportive framework of the Claremont Colleges which provide an unsurpassed breadth of academic, athletic and social opportunities.

If I were to develop a checklist of things that are likely to show up in every "Mission Statement" I feature, I couldn't do a better job of 'buzzword bingo' than the above paragraph.

Socially responsible, yada yada yada, social justice, yada yada yada, environmental sensitivity, yada yada yada, community, yada, supportive, yada, unsurpassed breadth of academic, athletic and social opportunities. (I can't believe they left off 'diversity', you always got to tout, 'diversity', there's nothing more important than being, 'diverse', suppose they think that's implied by 'social justice')

The formula will vary some, but those are the bullet points. Course, the kiddies that attend these schools aren't looking for any of those things. They want to know, how easy will the grading be? Will going here help me get into a good grad school? Do hot (and easy) people go here? What's the drinking scene like? How far is it from dorm to classes? What's the meal plan like? If the kids going here aren't really, really hot, are they at least really, really easy? If I download and upload tons of songs and porn, will the administration bust me? Do they have wi-fi everywhere? What's the celphone reception like? Are there any hot teachers? Are the dorm bathrooms gross, really gross, or I'm better off at a truck stop gross?

For some reason none of those questions seem to get addressed in mission statements.

Oh well.