Meh, The President Speaks, and Speaks, and Speaks, and It's Not HIS Fault!!!!

Live Press Conference blogged lively...

Since when do press conferences begin with 8 minutes of teleprompter copy?

First thing he says, "Not my fault, it was like that when I got here".

Don't think I can blog too much of the blather, unlikely that he says anything interesting as long as he's reading from his trusty prompter.

To paraphrase, individuals borrowing and spending money they don't have has ruined our economy, but to fix that, the government must borrow massively more in the aggregate than all those individuals did on their own.

Gah!

To paraphrase, don't blame me, and yeah, those bonuses were soooooo awful, we need to de-capitalize capitalism. Only the government can dole out capital, free markets can't do it on their own. But, I guess we need entrepreneurs, or else there will be nobody to tax, so let me say that we shouldn't demonize them, even though that seems to be all I ever do.

Jennifer Loven AP, first up.
Regulation, you want it, why will it be better this time?
Obama: no, no, no, it was under-regulation that caused this mess, AIG wasn't under the FDIC, so that's why we need to create all sorts of new red tape to counter future risk taking. We need to centralize everything, cause DC knows better about everything, and central planning always works well. Quick follow up, 'why should we trust DC', Obama" 'because I said so'.

Chuck Todd (NBC), next
Wars require sacrifice, this is a war, what sacrifices must we make?
Umm, ahh, uummmm, ahhhhh, I'm stalling, I've asked for sacrifices, it's just all that awful stuff that existed before I can to office, that was the problem, in other words, I'm going to ignore your question, but ummm, ahhh, voters are already sacrificing, and if I say what I'm going to do to them over the next 3.5 years, they may not re-elect me, so I'm just going to pretend that everything is the GOP's fault and say that if you trust me, and elect even more DEMs in 2010, then everything will be hunky dory. Chuck Todd follow up, 'You said this was huge, how could you not ask for sacrifice', Obama: 'Did I say that?', nevermind, everything will be fine as long as you trust me.

Jake Tapper (ABC), next
Senate Dems, no middle class tax cut, no cap and trade, what's up with that?
Ummm, ahhh, ummmm, ahhh, we need health care reform, we gotta have energy policy, we gotta have even more federal spending on education, we gotta fix the deficit, we know things may change through the legislative process, and we already got the middle class their tax cut, so don't worry about that, and cap and trade is part of a 'broader principle' so don't worry about that. I still believe in cap and trade, even though it has been a costly, bureaucratic nightmare when tried in Europe, but we'll do it better somehow. Jack Tapper follow up, will you sign it if it doesn't meet your priorities? Obama: Ehh, whatever.

Chip Reid (CBS), next
Generational Theft, close to $10T in new debt over 10 years, what's up with that?
The GOP are evil, and they did it first, so nevermind. We'll cut the deficit in half over five years, those ten year projections are wrong, growth will be higher than the CBO predicts, despite all my attempts to strangle the economy somehow growth will remain robust cause of all the magic fairy dust I'll be spreading around the country. With all the added magic fairy dust I'll be spreading around like so much manure the flowers of prosperity will bloom. And my critics won't release their own budgets so they have no standing to criticize, did I mention health care? Yeah, health care, yeah, I'll really FIX health care, and while I'm at it I'll dismantle our military to balance the budget. Follow up, what's with the out years if you are really cutting? Obama: Don't look behind the curtain!!! Pay no attention to that, those savings are going to happen once I spread the magic fairy dust, magic fairy dust will fix everything.

(the question to answer ratio remains as lopsided as the last dog and pony show, and the questions asked aren't the ones he actually answers, does he really think folks aren't going to notice this?)

Lourdes (her news outlet wasn't captioned, didn't catch it)
Mexico, sucks don't it? Does it threaten US security?
We're dealing with it, and we'll do more if we need to, and it's US guns that are the problem so we need more gun control (though that statement is ridiculous on the face of it).

Kevin (Stars and Stripes)
What can you cut from the military budget without political blowback?
We're giving more money to veterans, and we'll take care of their PTSD having asses (cause all troops come back 'wrong'), we'll save money by reforming the procurement system. (??? - That's going to save hundreds of billions?) Obama wants to say he'll gut the military, he just can't admit it, yet, instead he'll pretend that 'reform' will lead to savings. No more off the book war expenditures, that'll help, too.

Ed Henry (CNN)
Andy Cuomo's done more to hit AIG than you did, what's up with that, and aren't you leaving a bigger mess to the future than what was left you?
This isn't easy, it's hard, it's really, really hard. My solution, reduce health care costs by nationalizing health care?!?!!!???!!!????? (the particulars are all a smokescreen, he wants one payer health care like our betters in Canada and Europe, which really means he wants rationed care, which is what they get). He's not answering the question again, just claiming that outrageous amounts of government spending will lead to outrageous growth rates and everything will be just fine. Are folks really falling for this fairy tale? Follow up, you weren't angry enough about AIG? I took time cause I like to know of what I speak.

Major Garrett (FNC)
China wants an IMF currency, Europe doesn't want stimulus spending, given that you want to be a 'global' president, are you hurt by the criticisms?
We all need to row in the same direction, at the G-20 we will work on job creation collectively, avoid protectionism, and create even more red tape, cause red tape=prosperity. The dollar is strong, and we're still number one. As far as changing our image, but the world loves me more than they love Bush. Follow up, global currency? No.

Mike Allen (The Politico)
Right to cut deductions for charities and mortgages?
Yes, we need to make sacrifices cause of wage stagnation, the top 5% are going to feel some pain, but they'll enjoy it and they won't go John Galt on us so everything will be fine. This won't decimate charities, I swear, you shouldn't worry about deductions when giving to charity, so screw you rich folks! They can afford it, so bend over and take it. Follow up, charities claim this will be horrible. Obama: No, it won't be a problem, grow the economy, and charities will get paid.

Kevin Chapelle (Ebony)
1 in 50 children homeless, what are you going to do for homeless children?
That's terrible, my recovery package will solve everything, and we'll extend the safety net, and we'll throw money at the states to prevent families from being homeless.

Ann Compton (ABC Radio)
Let's talk race, are you still black enough?
The economy knows no color, the inaugural was great, but y'all are still kinda racist, but the economy is more important than reminding all of you how racist you still are.

Jon Ward (Wash Times)
Stem cells, moral, immoral, consider it at all personally?
I'm going to pretend I care about embryos, I barely think babies are people so you think I think twice about putting embryos in a blender? I'll just pretend to be thoughtful on this issue and spout platitudes. He's sure taking a long time not to answer this question, isn't he?

(I'm really tempted to switch to the Lakers game, this crap is boring, even though the Lakers are only playing the lowly Thunder, still better than this crap, I'm guessing the next question will be the last question, so I'll stick it out)

Last question, Stephen Collison (AFP)
Palestine-Israel, sucks don't it, and Netanyahu is evil?
It's going to be tough, and the status quo is unsustainable, there must be two states with peace and security. Mr. Sally Jesse Raphael glasses (aka George Mitchell) will help with bringing the sides together. We had the Orange and the Green together here on St. Pats, so we'll get the Israelis and Palestinians together, too. Persistence is what I'm all about, if at first you don't succeed, blame previous administrations for your failures, and fail, fail again.

He's still talking, but he ain't saying nothing. As usual, he's highlighting that ridiculous video to Iran, it's an example of his wonderful persistence, he's saying don't expect results, just listen to my rhetoric, as long as I talk a good game, you shouldn't pay attention to a lack of results, cause results require real plans, real change, and all I've got is talking and a perpetual campaign to run.

UPDATE:

President Obama went without his trusty prompter, instead relying on a really big TV in the back of the room, seen in the above YouTube clip from Fox News (via Drudge).

What do you suppose his reaction would have been had a bunch of reporters chosen to stand up in front of the display just after he started speaking? Would he have harrumphed, or would he have called over the Secret Service?

(also, what's the carbon footprint on that thing, did he pay his offsets?)

(finally, give a speech, or hold a press conference, don't do both)