01 March 2009

If What ABC News Reported Was Actually Factual, Things We Might Expect to See in the Future . . .

According to ABC News "Conservatives are biggest consumers" . . . . . . . ., of porn.

Woohoo!!!

(oh, wait, I guess my reaction should be more along the lines of Newsbusters, that this is bunk, and the research ABC cites doesn't support their claim)

But, if pornographers were to take this news to heart, they'd want to cater to their biggest fans, so what would 'conservative' porn look like.

The old --- delivery man scenario --- out.
The new --- hippie-dippy signature gatherering chick gets invited in while trying to promote some lefty cause, and instead gets the ride of her life while her scene partner vigorously quotes from Hayek and Popper --- in.

The old --- pop culture parodies, like Not the Bradys XXX (link sort of SFW, but not really safe for your eyes given the background and text) --- out.
The new --- Ayn Rand parodies, like Atlas Tugged --- in.

The old --- Fake Sarah Palin (link goes to a NY Daily News article back when the Hustler project was first announced) getting screwed --- out.
The new --- Wait, I guess that one sort of works for conservatives as well, so long as they don't portray her as a buffoon (which judging from what was written about that film, seems she was an object of derision and lust, rather than admiration and lust, so that will have to change) --- in.

3 comments:

Donna B. said...

Haha!! You know way too much about porn :-)

XWL said...

A) I'm a dude.

B) There is no B.

XWL said...

I guess I should claim everything I know about porn I learned from Kevin Smith, yeah, that's it, that's my story and I'm sticking to it.