29 September 2006

The Post Where I Held an Envelope to My Head

I'm old enough to remember Carnac the Magnificent.

Silly bit, but played to perfection.

I was reminded of that bit after reading this post at Throwing Things.

(XWL holds an envelope to his beturbaned head, and does his best Johnny Carson voice)

"Lindsay Lohan"

(XWL then switches chairs and puts on a plaid sports jacket and does his best Ed McMahon voice)

"Lindsay Lohan?"

(XWL switches chairs again, tears off the ugly jacket, throws the turban back on his head, and once again does his best Johnny Carson voice)

"Who is the youngest current celebrity who has an obit already prepared"

(I swear I had all these thoughts before noticing in the comments that she was the second name that popped up)


bill said...

My guess would have been for that booze-swilling, drug-taking, 11-year old whore Drew Barrymore.

XWL said...

That could be a game.

Guess the youngest person with a prepared obit by five year increments.

Also, another game would be, guess the person with the longest held prepared obit.

I'm guessing Gerald Ford's obit has been written for about 20 years now.

Liz Taylor also, she's been on death's door half a dozen times in the past 30 years.

Adam said...

In terms of longest-held prepared obits, I'm assuming there are some former heads of state and Nobelists out there whose obits have been static for quite some time.

Here's a nominee: Lady Bird Johnson.

XWL said...

She's alive?

OK, I looked up her Wiki and found this bit, On September 13 2006, Houston news anchor Bill Balleza, when reporting on the death of Ann Richards, said the former Texas governor's death had come as Texans were still mourning the "recent passing" of Lady Bird Johnson. Balleza was actually referring to Nellie Connally, the former First Lady of Texas, who had passed away on September 6. A clearly embarassed Balleza apologized later in the broadcast for the mishap.".

But your point is taken that for a long held prepared obit, the person in question should have not done anything recently of note so that the obit writers wouldn't have anything to change.

XWL said...

Also, you probably win, I'd imagine she's had some sort of obit ready since the late 70s and they probably haven't had to touch it since then.

XWL said...

Oh, and how could I have missed this bit of trivia, given the nature of this post.

Lady Bird Johnson was born December 22, 1912 in Karnack, Texas.

The Wiki also mentions that she'll have to hold out till 2010 to surpass Bess Truman as oldest ever former First Lady.

Adam said...

Yep. Because there are plenty of old people out there who have had obits ready for a long time -- QE2, President Ford, Nelson Mandela. What I'm looking for are ones for which nothing has changed for a long time, that all they have to do is throw in a cause of death, and they're ready to go.