10 August 2006

A Modest Proposal for The Improvement of Relations Between The West and Islamist Extremist

(hat tip Powerline)

Scott Ott reporting at Scrappleface, mentions a new initiative started by British Parliament to understand why airplanes seem to trouble our Muslim brothers so much (oddly I can't find corroborating articles, strange that. Could his report be less than factual?).

I think I have an inkling of part of the problem and I even have a suggestion as to how to alleviate some of the tension that the continued use of these technologically advanced flying machines causes between the clashing civilisations (how'd the British spelling sneak in there?).

Clearly, expecting the Islamist Extremist to get over themselves and join the rest of us in the 21st century is an example of racially and culturally biased neo-colonialism and instead we must create a new visual language that will mollify the egos of those still wish to drag everyone back to the glorious time when Islam was at its ascendancy.

Those flying machines are a gross representation of western power and flying them willy nilly all over the globe is clearly meant to enflame the hatred of those sensitive souls simply seeking submission to Allah.

While even the sensitive submitters enjoy the global mobility provided by these nearly infernal devices, something must be done to improve their image so that they don't continue to enflame this horrible envy that they currently engender as they gracefully go from airport to airport.

My modest proposal is simple, but it will require a few technological innovations that are well within the reach of our modern 21st century society.

Project the image of FLYING CARPETS across the bottom of every commercial aircraft. That way, when a young man of Pakistani or Yemeni or Indonesian origin glances up at the sky above Leeds, Paris, Jakarta, or Dearborn, instea of seething with rage as he sees reminders of western cultural and technological hegemony and superiority, instead he'll be transported in mind and spirit back to the times of Scheherezade and her nightly tales.

We can't expect Islamic Extremist to willingly give up their fantasies of plunging the rest of the world into a re-creation of medieval caliphates, but this time on a global scale. So instead we should mask the modern world in the symbols and appearance of those past glory years so at least part of their pyschological motivation for their hatred is greatly muted.


(photo of former boxing champion Naseem Hamed taken from this BBC Sport gallery of photos from his career)

(also, speaking of Schezzy, I recommend the John Barth book below that uses her as one of its characters)


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