30 July 2006

Deep Thoughts On Cereal

The Hero With A Thousand Brands of Sugary Cereal

Kellogg’s mascots are the square DC ones. They’re total Boy Scouts. Helpful Toucan Sam always wants lost jungle explorers to find and sample his Froot Loops. Cheery Tony the Tiger thinks everything is “Grrrreat!” Snap, Crackle, and Pop are so dull they’re mostly interested in the sound that air bubbles make in their cereal. Whoo!

General Mills, on the other hand, is where Gen-Xers get the familiar Joseph Campbell cereal-commercial archetypes of their childhoods. These guys are the edgy Marvel anti-heroes, full of conflict and angst. The Trix Rabbit represents Trix, but can he even get a bowl of the stuff. from a pair of spoiled, privileged children? He cannot, so he resorts to stealing, and still he fails. Count Chocula, Frankenberry, Fruit Brute, et. al., are scary and misunderstood. Anti-spokesperson Lucky the Leprechaun doesn’t even want you to eat his damn cereal. He’s hiding.

I didn't write it, but I could have, instead Ken Jennings beat me to it. DAMN YOU KEN JENNINGS!!!

(and if you hadn't read this book, get to it already, good stuff, Lucky Charms good. Joseph Campbell, he's magically delicious!)

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